Ellen Ratner, Eleanor Clift, Your Clinton Vibrators Are Ready

Talking Slick Willie ^

[Doctor Raoul]

FROM TODAY'S INSIDE THE BELTWAT BY JOHN McCASLIN:

CLINTON MONMUMENT It vibrates, it tickles, it stimulates, it vacillates, it talks, it exaggerates.
What is it?
It's the Talking Slick Willie Presidential Massager, with batteries included at a bargain price of $29.99.
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition," explains Austin, Texas-based JJK Industries, makers of the red, white and blue (gray on top) massager. "So the Slick Willie Presidential Massager is in no way aimed at demeaning or insulting the man or the office."
Of course not.
So, how does one turn on Slick Willie?
To make Slick Willie talk, simply press the white button below his feet on the pedestal. Each time, Slick Willie recites one line. (He says seven funny phrases in all.)
To make Slick Willie vibrate, simply turn on the switch on the back of the pedestal. Slick Willie vibrates at one speed.
Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.
Who would buy such a toy?
Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.
"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."
Inside the Beltway, as a rule, does not publish product sales information (we prefer that toy makers and others place ads in our newspaper). But in this case, knowing readers will inundate us with queries, here it is: 1-877/456-7742 or www.talkingslickwillie.com.
After all, says one anonymous former senatorial source: "Bob Dole thinks this is the best thing since Viagra."

[Nick Thimmesch]

m

[rface]

I ordered one to send to Barney Frank...

www.talkingslickwillie.com

[rface]

mmmmmmm!

Susan Estrich

mmmmm!

[sauropod]

ROFLMAO! The Peace Girls will love that!

[sauropod]

Git yers fast! Batteries included!

[rface]

Helen Thomas

[SeeRushToldU_So]

Now this is funny.

Happy New Year Tex!

[BIGZ]

Real Women use vibrators with kick statrers.

[ErnBatavia]

I have to hurry up and save that pic before this thread gets pulled!

[ErnBatavia]

"A pack of Marlboros, a quart of Ten high and Thee"...

[Spiff]

Weirdest one I ever saw was the Hello Kitty vibrator. Hello Kitty is a children's cartoon character. Those crazy Japanese... Then there was the Nimbus 2000 Broomstick - which had a vibrating special effect - but that one was supposed to be a toy.

[sauropod]

Who is that? Shez hot!

[Probus]

I saw Helen Thomas in an airport last year and she was uglier than her photos, tv spots, etc. Yikes!

[SMEDLEYBUTLER]

A match made in Moscow.

[Doctor Raoul]

Susan Estrich.

[Doctor Raoul]

Click here to go to http://www.talkingslickwillie.com. It's a riot.

[Doctor Raoul]

Sales/Return Policy:
Due to the nature of this product, for hygienic reasons and
as our corporate sales policy, no refunds whatsoever
are permitted. All sales are final. However, if you
find the product to be defective and you return it to
JJK Industries, L.P. within two weeks of receipt, we
will exchange the item for a like item at no charge.
JJK Industries, L.P. reserves the right to credit, exchange,
refund or replace any returned items.

[rface]

Susan Estrich