Posted on 11/25/2002 9:10:52 AM PST by stainlessbanner
As if we did not have enough problems already what with fire ants, alligators and the inescapable fact that Katherine Harris is our new congresswoman, a new study has concluded that Florida is the fourth dumbest state in the nation.
Morgan Quitno Press, a Lawrence, Kan.,-based research and publishing company, determined which states were the smartest and dumbest by figuring the per capita number of pickup trucks flying Confederate flags multiplied by the number of people who use the word "bagel" as an adjective as in "That's a bagel bowl of grits you got there."
Actually, Morgan Quitno did no such thing. The company determined which states were the smartest and dumbest by measuring the quality of elementary and secondary education. (My way would have been easier, I bet, and probably would have yielded the same results.)
Criteria included such things as per-pupil expenditures, public high school graduation rates, average class size, teacher salaries and reading and math proficiency.
According to the 2002 rankings, Connecticut is the smartest state, followed by Vermont, Montana, New Jersey and Maine. The dumbest state, or 50th smartest state if you prefer, was New Mexico, followed by Louisiana, Mississippi, FLORIDA and Nevada.
This is the first time that Morgan Quitno has compiled a smartest state list, so it's impossible to tell if we're smarter or dumber than we were a few years ago. Contrary to all visual evidence, Florida is slightly more livable today than it was 11 years ago. A Morgan Quitno study of livability ranked Florida third from the bottom in 1991 (Mississippi was the worst) but promoted it to 39th best in 2002. (Minnesota was ranked the most livable state, which just goes to show that shoveling snow and frostbite are more fun than we thought.)
I'm not sure what we can do about our livability ranking other than putting the whole state under an air-conditioned dome, but I have some ideas on how we can move up the ladder in the smartness department.
For starters, we need to stop holding elections. It is one thing for our students to have low math and reading scores. It is another thing entirely to demonstrate to the world that we are too stupid to punch holes in pieces of paper. I realize that the last election was, by Floriduh standards, more or less trouble-free. Still, I don't think we can depend on future elections to run as smoothly. The people of my generation, the accursed Baby Boomers, are getting older and more whacked-out by the minute to the point that we are only a year or two away from confusing a ballot with an Early Bird Special. (It is unclear whether a dribble of mashed potatoes will count for the Republicans or the Democrats.)
We Floridians can also improve our smartness quotient by refusing to plant any more citrus trees in our backyards. We have far more citrus now than anyone can possibly eat, so planting more trees is just another signal to others that our lights are on but nobody's home. At this very moment, in my office, people are hauling in grocery bags full of oranges and grapefruits (mostly grapefruits) to give away to their co-workers. The problem is that the co-workers also have bags of citrus sitting on their desks that they hope to give away. In New York, when you're stopped at a traffic light, people appear unbidden and begin washing your windshield. In Florida, you stop for a traffic light and people appear unbidden and shovel tangelos and ruby-red grapefruit through your open window.
This sort of thing almost never happens in Connecticut, which could explain why it's the smartest state.
West Palm Beach: "We put the DUH! back into Floriduh!"
Well, that 'splains it. In New Mexico we don't stop for traffic lights at all.
But that wouldn't give the "correct" answer.
My daughter took advanced biology in a school where the lab/classroom had only one sink. Ever kid in the class got a 4 or 5 on the AP test.
What a smug, slimy liberal douchebag this guy is. Substitute the above with "the number of non-english speaking hispanics multiplied by the number of blacks and seniors unable to figure out a butterfly ballot..." and the guy would be thrown out on his ass...
2002 SMARTEST STATE AWARD |
||||||
ALPHA ORDER |
|
RANK ORDER |
||||
RANK |
STATE |
SUM |
|
RANK |
STATE |
SUM |
41 |
Alabama |
(7.41) |
|
1 |
Connecticut |
13.04 |
25 |
Alaska |
0.26 |
|
2 |
Vermont |
12.33 |
44 |
Arizona |
(7.98) |
|
3 |
Montana |
11.43 |
38 |
Arkansas |
(5.96) |
|
4 |
New Jersey |
9.81 |
29 |
California |
(2.51) |
|
5 |
Maine |
9.65 |
27 |
Colorado |
(0.78) |
|
6 |
Wisconsin |
8.77 |
1 |
Connecticut |
13.04 |
|
7 |
Massachusetts |
8.00 |
43 |
Delaware |
(7.76) |
|
8 |
Wyoming |
6.68 |
47 |
Florida |
(12.66) |
|
9 |
Indiana |
6.04 |
40 |
Georgia |
(7.19) |
|
10 |
Rhode Island |
5.85 |
45 |
Hawaii |
(9.44) |
|
11 |
Iowa |
4.99 |
22 |
Idaho |
1.43 |
|
12 |
Minnesota |
4.98 |
33 |
Illinois |
(3.41) |
|
13 |
Nebraska |
4.87 |
9 |
Indiana |
6.04 |
|
14 |
Kansas |
4.50 |
11 |
Iowa |
4.99 |
|
15 |
Pennsylvania |
4.41 |
14 |
Kansas |
4.50 |
|
16 |
Texas |
4.08 |
28 |
Kentucky |
(1.67) |
|
17 |
Utah |
3.67 |
49 |
Louisiana |
(17.18) |
|
18 |
West Virginia |
3.53 |
5 |
Maine |
9.65 |
|
19 |
New Hampshire |
3.49 |
30 |
Maryland |
(2.65) |
|
20 |
Michigan |
2.52 |
7 |
Massachusetts |
8.00 |
|
21 |
North Dakota |
2.06 |
20 |
Michigan |
2.52 |
|
22 |
Idaho |
1.43 |
12 |
Minnesota |
4.98 |
|
23 |
Oregon |
0.80 |
48 |
Mississippi |
(17.09) |
|
24 |
North Carolina |
0.64 |
31 |
Missouri |
(2.71) |
|
25 |
Alaska |
0.26 |
3 |
Montana |
11.43 |
|
26 |
New York |
(0.50) |
13 |
Nebraska |
4.87 |
|
27 |
Colorado |
(0.78) |
46 |
Nevada |
(10.73) |
|
28 |
Kentucky |
(1.67) |
19 |
New Hampshire |
3.49 |
|
29 |
California |
(2.51) |
4 |
New Jersey |
9.81 |
|
30 |
Maryland |
(2.65) |
50 |
New Mexico |
(25.92) |
|
31 |
Missouri |
(2.71) |
26 |
New York |
(0.50) |
|
32 |
Oklahoma |
(2.74) |
24 |
North Carolina |
0.64 |
|
33 |
Illinois |
(3.41) |
21 |
North Dakota |
2.06 |
|
34 |
South Dakota |
(3.97) |
41 |
Ohio |
(7.41) |
|
35 |
Washington |
(4.23) |
32 |
Oklahoma |
(2.74) |
|
36 |
South Carolina |
(4.97) |
23 |
Oregon |
0.80 |
|
37 |
Virginia |
(5.83) |
15 |
Pennsylvania |
4.41 |
|
38 |
Arkansas |
(5.96) |
10 |
Rhode Island |
5.85 |
|
39 |
Tennessee |
(6.98) |
36 |
South Carolina |
(4.97) |
|
40 |
Georgia |
(7.19) |
34 |
South Dakota |
(3.97) |
|
41 |
Alabama |
(7.41) |
39 |
Tennessee |
(6.98) |
|
41 |
Ohio |
(7.41) |
16 |
Texas |
4.08 |
|
43 |
Delaware |
(7.76) |
17 |
Utah |
3.67 |
|
44 |
Arizona |
(7.98) |
2 |
Vermont |
12.33 |
|
45 |
Hawaii |
(9.44) |
37 |
Virginia |
(5.83) |
|
46 |
Nevada |
(10.73) |
35 |
Washington |
(4.23) |
|
47 |
Florida |
(12.66) |
18 |
West Virginia |
3.53 |
|
48 |
Mississippi |
(17.09) |
6 |
Wisconsin |
8.77 |
|
49 |
Louisiana |
(17.18) |
8 |
Wyoming |
6.68 |
|
50 |
New Mexico |
(25.92) |
METHODOLOGY--The Smartest State designation is awarded based on 21 factors chosen from Morgan Quitnos new annual reference book, Education State Rankings, 2002-2003. These factors reflect a strong commitment to students and teachers, an emphasis on excellence in the classroom and support of safe, well-run public schools (see box below.) To determine the Smartest State rankings, the 21 factors were divided into two groups: those that are negative for which a high ranking would be considered bad for a state, and those that are positive for which a high ranking would be considered good for a state. Rates for each of the 21 factors were processed through a formula that measures how a state compares to the national average for a given category. The positive and negative nature of each factor was taken into account as part of the formula. Once these computations were made, the factors then were assigned equal weights. These weighted scores then were added together to get a states final score (SUM on the table above.) This way, states are assessed based on how they stack up against the national average. The end result is that the farther below the national average a states education ranking is, the lower (and less smart) it ranks. The farther above the national average, the higher (and smarter) a state ranks. This same methodology is used for our annual Healthiest State, Safest and Most Dangerous State and Safest/Dangerous City Awards. The table above shows how each state scored in Morgan Quitnos first annual Smartest State Award. |
New Mexico last place. LOL! Even behind Florida. You have a lot of blockheads in N.M.
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