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Jesus, And What He Would Drive
IntellectualConservative.com ^ | Wednesday, November 20th | Brian S. Wise

Posted on 11/23/2002 7:02:03 AM PST by Tina Johnson

Let it never be said that men of uncommon motivations cannot find something over which to agree, and eventually threaten the country at large. On the matter of the sports utility vehicle, the Evangelical Environmental Network has linked arms with other lesser Republicans and environmentalists in direct opposition to the SUV, making their point with an ad campaign simply called “What Would Jesus Drive?” to begin airing soon in Detroit, Iowa, Missouri, North Carolina and the author’s home State of Indiana. Reverend Jim Ball, who is directly involved with the campaign, explained himself thus: “We take seriously the question ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ ‘What Would Jesus Drive?’ is just a more specific version. What would he want me to do as a Christian? Would he want me to use public transportation?” The Savior couldn’t be reached for comment, so there’s no immediate word as to whether or not He would just simply allow grown adults to exercise the free will they’ve been given, kind of like … what they do right now, actually.

Think your life sucks? Try squeezing 750 words out of this intellectual turd, without 500 of them being how the Bible states He and the apostles were all in one Accord, about how it’s obvious He would drive a Crown Victoria, and so forth. Asking yourself what Jesus would do in a given situation is a sticky enough proposition on its face because it puts one in the position of trying to think as He would think; how He would spend $25,000 – assuming He would choose to have $25,000 to start with – is stickier still, because it puts Jesus in the role of, you’ll forgive the expression, a common consumer, as if He would have nothing better to do upon returning to the world than shopping for something to drive. (“Lo, though I return to … Holy Cow, look at that Expedition!”)

When this story broke, my first thought as a non-Christian was, “Now wait a minute. If every sperm is supposed to be sacred, how else are people expected to haul all of their kids around if not large, and in some cases fuel inefficient, vehicles?” Would Reverend Ball prefer good Christians haul their families around in wooden wagons behind their small to mid-sized cars? Of course not. One guesses he would prefer the auto makers dedicate themselves to better fuel efficiency standards without federal prodding, which I would also prefer, which I believe most reasonable people would prefer.

But only the feds can force manufacturers into higher standards, and President Bush seems reluctant to stand for it. So absent that, what else should be said? How about that when one buys a SUV, he’s deliberately choosing a vehicle that uses more gasoline, and is therefore playing directly into the exact same Arab hands that are plotting against us, both to our faces and behind our backs. True enough, and once again, every right minded person would agree that if Man can be talked into going to the Moon based on a mandate no greater than That Old Womanizer’s inauguration speech, we can certainly dedicate the next decade to developing alternative fuels.

But again, you cannot force the feds into pumping money into alternative fuels. So absent that, what else can be said? How about that sometimes when one takes to the road in a vehicle that large, he often comes to have certain feelings of invincibility, which can lead to reckless driving, car accidents and perhaps deaths? Good point, so communities can expand or strengthen penalties for such idiotic and childish behavior, perhaps to the point of jail time.

But you cannot force people to be responsible adults. So absent that, what else can be said? This: Shut up. Whatever arguments can be offered against the SUV (and large trucks), there is at least one that trumps them all, the market. The market provides for those who want large vehicles, with which people can haul around their families, or tow boats and / or watercraft, or move heavy product to and from job sites, and many other of the often necessary things you simply cannot do with the underwhelming force a Yugo provides. Should there come a day when the SUV goes the way of the Studebaker, that would be a proper exercise of the market, as well. As one executive said, “If [the consumers] wanted cars with fins, we’d be making cars with fins.” But they don’t. They want SUV’s, and should have them. Whatever advances toward the ends of independence from anti-American oil producing countries should be a priority, but not forced down the throats of the consumers.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: jesus; suv
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To: Tina Johnson
A. Jesus would probably ride in whatever car his disciples had. (Don't want to presume for Jesus) Since the disciples were a cross-spectrum of the community, some would have Ford Escorts, some would drive Cadillac SUV's. I'm sure he would be happy in either

B. I seriously doubt Jesus would be bothered with cars, since his life was devoted to Peace and Love.

41 posted on 11/23/2002 9:10:32 AM PST by Republic of Texas
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To: Republic of Texas
Someone can't be for peace and love and drive as well?
42 posted on 11/23/2002 9:13:29 AM PST by Tina Johnson
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To: Always Right
Oooh-aaah. If nothing else, he has impeccable taste.

And here I was thinking he'd be riding a donkey.

43 posted on 11/23/2002 9:17:14 AM PST by Ground0
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To: Kenyon
Let's turn on a small thinking cap for a moment and might consider that a GMC subruban is the most gas and polution efficient vehicle for carting around 12 apostles and other disciples.

If he were an enviro idiot, he would by a bunch of yugo's, perhaps 4 or 5 (need some backup for the faulty design) and use more gas with more inneficiency and more death from accidents, and more polution form broken spare parts and oil leaks - but hey - let's not let logic get in our way - as an enviro wacko we are allowed to say anything/do anything - just like our demonrat buds - all because we know better than anyone else. We have have an evolution engineered intellect and are so much better than everyone else - our enviro ego totalitarianism is really the right way but "the people" are too stupid to see it.

The GMC Suburban - 12 people tyravel 45 miles for 3 gallons of gas - no repairs. 12 people - 3 Yugo's travel 45 miles for 5 gallons of gas - plus since the yugo/spec isn't designed for the rough terrain or heavy load of people - there are more repairs, need for more oil replacements - more leaks etc - the whole earth is polluted and destroyed by our self serving consience salving good intentions.

I propose that we pass a law that mandates that everyone own GMC Suburbans and outlaw all small vehicles.

44 posted on 11/23/2002 9:24:22 AM PST by artios
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To: artios
With this kind of logic, you couldn't lose. Bravo.
45 posted on 11/23/2002 9:26:10 AM PST by Tina Johnson
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To: gitmo
beautiful!
46 posted on 11/23/2002 9:28:35 AM PST by smoking camels
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To: Tina Johnson
In Acts it says that Jesus and his disciples were all in one Accord....
47 posted on 11/23/2002 9:33:24 AM PST by poindexter
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To: Tina Johnson
Thanks, Tina: I'll make sure not to stumble into it accidentally.
48 posted on 11/23/2002 9:41:54 AM PST by TopQuark
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To: TopQuark
Hey, I won't lie to you. Brian knows when he writes things that some people are going to find objectionable, and doesn't mind if I warn anyone who says something about certain content. I consider it a service.
49 posted on 11/23/2002 9:48:20 AM PST by Tina Johnson
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To: Tina Johnson
I understand. I am not being picky about the style or form, nor am I a prude. But adoption of such language is an assault of my heritage. Some people, even conservatives, give in to it. Subsequently, they are surprised at the election of officials such as Clinton.

Culture is a public good. If it also the only pool from which our leaders can come from. And you know what you shouldn't do in a swimming pool.

If some "intellectual" content comes at the expense of assault on civility, it is not worth it. Moreover, we have been down this rad many time over the course of western civilization: if you have something to say, you do have to shout sometimes, but you never need to insult the listener. Which is what the language of the "author" does.

Most certainly, I did not mean to offend you for the choice of whom you prefer to read. Have a good day.

50 posted on 11/23/2002 9:58:20 AM PST by TopQuark
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To: Tina Johnson
These enviro-nazis are just too bizzare...
51 posted on 11/23/2002 9:59:06 AM PST by pocat
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Comment #52 Removed by Moderator

To: TopQuark
I understand. But you've got to know that Brian never writes a single word on accident. Everything is meant to get a certain reaction. Maybe not yours, but a certain reaction. That's why it takes him so long to write. But your reaction is still very understandable. I would hope this one line doesn't turn you off from Brian's column entirely.
53 posted on 11/23/2002 10:10:34 AM PST by Tina Johnson
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To: Always Right
But what would Mohammad drive?


54 posted on 11/23/2002 10:15:26 AM PST by FreedomCalls
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To: FreedomCalls
Outstanding!
55 posted on 11/23/2002 10:16:07 AM PST by Tina Johnson
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To: Tina Johnson
I heard he hums "409" by the Beach boys sometimes.
56 posted on 11/23/2002 10:23:31 AM PST by BenR2
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To: Congressman Billybob
Great post. Especially about the Red Man.
57 posted on 11/23/2002 10:26:19 AM PST by BenR2
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To: AD from SpringBay; Tina Johnson
"Since Jesus wasn't big into owning property I would guess that he would take the bus or simply walk.
This whole thing is just another step towards desensitizing people - bringing Christ away from His true meaning and purpose, another step towards making Him just another question for Trivial Pursuit"

Excellant point, which many miss.
Jesus doesn't care if we drive a Ford Excursion or a Geo Metro. Jesus would have ridden in either, if a good Samaritan were to offer him a ride. While riding in car or SUV, Jesus would have talked about heavenly things, not lectured the Samaritan about gas milege, SUV's or the environment.

Jesus said, "the things of this earth will soon pass away."

Jesus didn't have any earthly possessions after age 30. He left carpentry work and all his tools behind to preach.

Most enviro's don't believe in Jesus anyway. "They would rather worship the Creation, rather than the Creator."

58 posted on 11/23/2002 10:38:51 AM PST by FBD
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To: tscislaw
Exactly, Jesus would drive a 4WD Suburban, complete with brush guards, a wench, and giant tires, to run over all the illegals who continuously slam into us and run! (After the 2nd hit and run, got rid of the 2nd gas efficient Escort economy wagon, very unsafe! Just a miracle kids weren't injured worse than they were!)
Suburbans protect Christians and their families, and are hard to argue with!! Best wishes to all...
from one of the "lambs"... ;)
59 posted on 11/23/2002 11:08:35 AM PST by Terridan
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To: Terridan
I think you meant that Jesus' vehicle would have a "winch," not a "wench."

A Lost & Found notice was posted hereabouts for a missing "Red Jeep Wrangler with an electic wench." My conclusion was that the electric wench took the Wrangler and ran off with a traveling salesman.

Cheers,

Billybob

60 posted on 11/23/2002 11:24:34 AM PST by Congressman Billybob
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