Their, there, they're (Spellcheck = an evil device) [TOTAL Vanity]

11/19/02

[RightWhale]

it drives me CRAZY

series disturbing.

[Erasmus]

Here, here!

[VRWCmember]

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër ?
See the løveli lakes
The wøndërful telephøne system
And mäni interesting furry animals

Including the majestik møøse

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A Møøse once bit my sister...

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No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...

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We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.

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Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

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We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

[lsee]

LOL! Reminds me of a sign on my dad's first PC...

ACHTUNG - ALLES LOOKENPEEPERS

Das Machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren musten keepen das cotten-pickenen hands in das pockets - relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights.

The above was apparently based on the following, original version, from the early 1960s:

Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers! Das machinkontrol is nicht for gefengerpoken und mittengrabben. Oderwise is easy schnappen der springenverk, blowenfus, undpoppencorken mit spitzensparken. Der machine is diggen by experten only. Is nicht fur geverken by das dumpkopfen. Das rubber necken sightseenen keepen das cotton-picken hands in das pockets. So relaxen, und vatchen das blinkenlights.

And here's the phony-English version the Germans use:

This room is fullfilled mit special electronische equipment. Fingergrabbing and pressing the knoeppkes from the computers is allowed for die experts only! So all the "lefthanders" stay away and do not disturben the brainstorming von here working intelligences. Otherwise you will be outthrown and kicked anderswhere! Also: please keep still and only watchen astaunished the blinkenlights.

Of course, this warning would not be complete without the Internet version:

Das Internet is nicht fuer gefingerclickend und giffengrabben. Ist easy droppenpacket der Routers und overloaden der Backbone mit der spammen und der me-tooen. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei die Dummkopfen. Die mausklicken Sichtseeren keepen das Bandwidth-spewen Hands in die Pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das cursorblinken.

Finally, the Palm Pilot version:

Das PalmPilot ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy scratch der Screene, zappen RAM, und droppen-smashen. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das Dummkopfen. Das rubber-necken Sichtseeren keep die Hands in die Pockets -- relaxen und watchen Das Blinkenlights.

Credit to: Annoyances.com

[Erasmus]

13. Proofread to make sure you haven't any words out.
14. Never needlessly verb a noun.
15. Mixed metaphors are a pain in the ass and should be thrown out the window.
16. No colloquial stuff.

[VRWCmember]

You seem to be inferring ...

No, he's implying; you're inferring. LOL!

[lsee]

Stop! You're making me hungry!

[babaloo999]

Your out of you're mind. Noone thinks this is a series thing. Looser.

[Flashlight]

...Besides, spelling errors and improper grammar look bad, are inconsiderate of the reader's time (it's enough work as it is to read the post and try to understand the idea...

I'm with you. I'll take it one step further and say that another practice that slows down comprehension is using alternative spellings and clever nicknames.

Example:

Clinton appointed twenty-four friends of Hillary and five other Democrats to the travel office staff.

vs.

Klintoon appointed twenty-four friends of the Hilldebeast and five other dummy-crats to the travel office staff.

The former might not be as much "fun", but it is easier to read and quickly comprehend.

[Billthedrill]

Sometimes it's simple carelessness. I believe that you should always proofreed as well as use the spellchecker, so you can sea if you any words out.

[xJones]

You just did it! When my spleen, liver, and pancreas are removed due to damage caused by over-laughing, you're in real trouble!

[dpa5923]

That will be funny!

[newgeezer]

Surely no one makes those errors any more.

I think you meant noone (or, as some prefer, no-one)!

There was a young man from Nepal
Who fell in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a sad thing
had he died in the spring,
but he didn't; he died in the fall.

[Spunky]

But if your you're ever going to be a good writer, you'll have to learn the difference. Their There are three different words, you see, and they'res there's really a difference." "When you hear them, theirs there's a chance you can't tell the difference, but if you write them, you're your readers will be confused by what you mean, if your you're using the wrong one."

Did I pass?

[Koblenz]

Actually, Swedish doesn't use the o with a slash through it: Danish and Norwegian use that letter. Swedish has two dots above a, two dots above o, and an a with a little ring above it. Norwegian and Danish have all the weird letters like AE dipthongs, Os with slashes, etc.

[Koblenz]

Actually, Swedish doesn't use the o with a slash through it: Danish and Norwegian use that letter. Swedish has two dots above a, two dots above o, and an a with a little ring above it. Norwegian and Danish have all the weird letters like AE dipthongs, Os with slashes, etc.

[Sloth]

I know. :)

[mikeb704]

The nauseous substance renders you nauseated.

Thanks so very much for that guidance. I'd never have known.

Between you and I, grammar makes me nauseous

[lsee]

you're in real trouble

Dreadfully sorry about your medical condition...should have put some sort of disclaimer or warning, huh? This has been a fun thread! :)

[strela]

How to Painlessly Review All That English Comp You Slept Through in School But Look Like You're On A Nostalgia Trip Instead

The old "Schoolhouse Rock" short cartoons are out on DVD and VHS. They've held up pretty well over the years, and you can watch them and review your basic english, math, and science without looking like a complete dork. "Hey, I already know this stuff; I'm just being nostalgically trendy!"