The Worst American Cars - POLL

Forbes ^ | 10.21.02 | Michael Frank

[Fresh Wind]

Had an 82 Citation sedan...

I've always wondered about the wisdom of naming a car after something a cop gives you after he catches you speeding!!

[TC Rider]

Some European cars were so good I still wish they made them today. The BMW 2002 comes to mind. With a few minor improvements they could make this today and it would still be one of the best cars on the road.

sigh, why couldn't they have brought this one back instead of the Mini. (the Mini's cool too, just not this cool)

I'd like my 2002 in a tii please.

[Fresh Wind]

I'd like my 2002 in a tii please.

Sigh. One of my big mistakes in life was not going the extra bucks for the tii in '73. Opted for the carbureted version instead. Still a great car though.

[perfect stranger]

Who is "we" Kimosabe?

Anybody that laughed at these machines were apt to pipe down once they had a ride in one. 426hemi dual-quad bump.

[Freedom4US]

I got one citation in the citation, for speeding. I allowed to the State Trooper that "I was just going with the flow of traffic."

He was not amenable to this line of reasoning, at all. This was back in the dark days of the Federally- Mandated-You-Will-Not-Go-Faster-Than-55MPH-On-Highways Designed-For-75-Lest-We-Withold-Your-Tax-Contributions. Thankfully, at least the 55MPH speed limit nonsense has since been rescinded.

[Francohio]

Look at the bright side, Comrade!

The Yugo is the only car made which an Albanian will not steal.

[DaGman]

My wife bought a 1983 Chevy Caprice in 1996 for $3000. It was in mint condition. A "little old lady" literally drove it every now and then, probably no more than to church and back. Everything worked and it ran like the 350 engine it had was intended to run. We sold it 18 months later with 30K more miles on it for $2000. The guy that bought still has it and its still in great shape. That was a great car.

And hey! I liked the AMC Gremlin. My ex-wife had one when we started dating and it was a really good car. No problems with it.

[Diddle E. Squat]

No way is the Pacer the worst! I was always pestering my parents to buy one when I was a kid, that fishbowl window was the coolest. Alas they never did(and they never let me ride on the back shelf of sedans either, beneath the windows. Meanies!)

Yeah Baby, look at that pregant rollerskate, and it made a great terrarium. (Some would call it a Pinto that held its breath too long.) Though this might be a bit much:

Waynes World knew what a perfect 70's icon that beauty was. Truly a Pacer belongs in the auto hall of fame. How about a baby blue one with racing flames and a licorice dispenser?

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,
-to me-,

Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-

Mama, ooh ooh ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry-
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on,
as if nothing really matters-

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-

Mama, ooh ooh ooh-
I don't want to die,
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all-
Carry on, carry on,
as if nothing really matters-

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the Fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightening-very, very frightening me-
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo
Gallileo figaro-Magnifico-

But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
He's just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life for this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-, will you let me go-
Bismillah! No-, we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! We will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go-let him go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go- oooh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,
for me-
for me-

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh Baby-Can't do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta right outta here-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-, nothing really matters to me,

Anyway the wind blows...

[Darksheare]

Anything by FORD. "Quality is job one!" *Said while trying hard not to laugh*

[dirtboy]

Exactly, I drove a 77 pinto in high school. If I floored it I got to about 62 miles per hour - and it shook pretty badly.

I learned to drive in a 1974 Pitno station wagon. Then went from that to a 69 Cougar XR7 with a 351 Cleveland. Hehehe... That Cougar wasn't that great off the line, but punch it and it could beat any car around from 20 to 70 mph...

[Jorge]

Ugliest thing on the road. I lobbied for an ugliness tax for every Seville owner.

It always reminded me of the way a dog stands when taking a crap.

ROFL! The best description of the Seville I've ever read. Perfect.

[Jorge]

I can't believe no one has mentioned the Taurus. Any year. What turd-boxes.

Probably because the Taurus was the #1 best selling car for 5 or 6 years straight, which means few people would agree with you. I've never heard anyone who owned one complain about the quality.

[edwin hubble]

The list is fatally flawed. Pinto and Vega are not on it.


Edsel doesn't belong on the list for its engineering.

For driving, the Corvair was great fun... that counts for something.

[Jorge]

They forgot about the Chevy Vega and the melting aluminum engine block....

I remember when we were teenagers my friends father bought a brand new Vega. We used to cram a bunch of freaks into it and drive around smoking pot and drinking beer.
It turned into a piece of crap so fast it was unbelievable.
His father sold it to him for $1 when it was a year old. LOL

[another cricket]

No, the best thing you could say about this car is that it was capable of turning multiple 360s on light ice.

I see you had one too. Driving from Columbus to Athens in a snowstorm was...was... well you couldn't call it boring!

a.cricket

[Temple Owl]

I bought a brand new '64 rambler station wagon. It was by far the worst car I ever owned. It had no power and it really wouldn't start if it were raining out. I hated that vehicle but I had three little boys and a mortgage. I kept it much longer than I should have.
American motors put out the biggest losers.

[boris]

Remember that (Chrysler New Yorker?) that had concave side panels and a rear window that sloped backward? Hands down the ugliest car ever made.

--Boris

[Bullish]

What about all the terrible dodges like the "swinger" and the "scamp"? Surely, they've earned their place on the list.

[Tequila Mockingbird]

After having the misfortune of experiencing 3 of your awful 13 list, my vote go's to the Pacer. My family's Pacer flashed an idiot light and overheated terminally on a road trip during the first week we owned it! I think my father shamed the dealer into giving back our trade in.

[secret garden]

Now all we need is for some clever Freeper to post the descriptions of drivers for different cars, i.e. the guy who drives a Volvo station wagon is telling the world he's deathly afraid of his wife.