Doug---CALL HOWARD!!! (How Forrester Can WIN In NJ)

Fellow Freeper, hchutch, has been trying for weeks to get me to set the wheels in motion for Douglas Forrester to call in to the Howard Stern show. And for weeks, I've been putting him off with the explanation that since Forrester was so far ahead in the polls against that crook, Torricelli, that this would be unnecessary. Then hchutch contacted me again last week when it appeared that Frank Lautenberg would be replacing the Crooked Torch on the ballot. Again I put him off with the explanation that if SCOTUS overturned the NJ Supreme Court that this would also be unneccessary.

Okay, folks, NOW it is NECCESSARY!!! Douglas Forrester MUST call in to Howard Stern on his radio show. If he does so it means a MINUMUM of an extra 100,000 votes (probabably a lot more) for him in November. This would give Forrester the election.

I sure hope Forrester's advisors don't make the same mistake as the folks advising Bret Shundler when he ran for NJ governor. A friend of mine had close ties with Shundler's advisors and passed along the suggestion that Shundler call in to Howard's show. When I got the word back that the timid Shundler advisors nixed that idea, I got so upset that I almost pulled an Elvis on my computer monitor.

So, PLEASE, Doug Forrester. DON'T make the same mistake as Bret Shundler. Just call in to the Howard Stern show. It doesn't mean you have to paint some chick's nekkid breasts or hang out with Howard at Scores or pledge obedience to Satan. Just call in to Howard and have some fun for a few minutes. Maybe you could even promise Howard that if elected Senator, you would try to have a NJ toxic waste dump named after him.

For a time investment of less than 10 minutes you will guarantee yourself victory in November. Since you are pro-choice and since Howard STRONGLY supports Bush's effort against Iraq (Howard flamed the Hollywood liberals today on his show who opposed action against Iraq) then I think you and Howard would hit it off.

Please, Mr. Forrester. I don't want to see Tom Dasshole as MAJORITY LEADER next term. Plus I would love to see that stupid smirk knocked off Jim Jefford's face.

p.s. If you doubt Howard's effectiveness as a vote-getter, then check with NY Governor Pataki who went from 20 points behind Mario Cuomo a week before the 1994 election to winning the election by 6 points---Thanx to Howard's support. This was why Howard was the GUEST OF HONOR at Pataki's inauguration.

Great idea and great job getting this going.

Unfortunately this idea is going NOWHERE. Like the ever-cautious Shundler, it looks like Forrester WON'T call Howard's show. Believe me, I would like nothing better that for this to happen but so far no indication this will happen. This SHOULD be a NO-BRAINER. Make a 10-minute call to Howard's show and get a MINIMUM of an extra 100,000 votes.

I have been having the SAME recurring nightmare for the past week. Here is what happens:

In my nightmare, I am in Doug Forrester's campaign office. Forrester is surrounded by his campaign aides and they are all discussing in minute detail the different things they need to do to attain victory in the Senate election. Most of the things they discuss are micro-management type items which all campaigns need to take care of: Campaign stops, which issues to emphasize, get-out-the-vote-efforts, etc.. And all the time they are doing this I am off to the side shouting: "DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!" over and over and over again. And yet, despite my screaming, I am totally ignored. Finally, in frustration, I hop up on Forrester's desk and begin tap-dancing and screaming to get his attention:

"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!

Finally Forrester looks up and says:

"Maybe he has a point. Perhaps I should call Howard Stern for ten minutes. It can't hurt."

At that point, I'm feeling mighty relieved but then one of Forrester's aides cuts in:

"Don't do it, Doug! Howard Stern is a lowlife. We need to run a classier campaign than that."

Those words sound familiar to me. I am thinking (remember, I'm still in my recurring nightmare) where I heard them before. Suddenly it hits me. These are almost exactly the same words used to justify Brett Shundler not appearing on Howard's show. I point an accusing finger at the Forrester aide and ask:

"Did you work in the Schundler campaign?"

"Yes I did and I am proud of the fact that I kept Brett from appearing on Howard's show. Brett had too much class to appear on Howard's show."

Now I'm jumping up and down on Forrester's desk. "Too much class? Hey, Schundler LOST because he wouldn't make ONE LOUSY STINKIN' PHONE CALL!!!"

Suddenly Forrester interjects:

"This crazy guy is right! It can't hurt to call Howard. It can only help. I'm calling Howard NOW!"

Just as Forrester picks up his phone, the campaign aide (who looks like a button-down type) grabs the phone out of Forrester's hand and says:

"Sorry Boss! I can't let you do this. It's for your own good."

"Maybe, you're right," repies Forrester. "That settles it. I'm NOT calling Howard after all."

At this point I go completely beserk. I point at the aide and scream:

"YOU STUPID MORON! HE WAS ABOUT TO MAKE THE PHONE CALL THAT WOULD WIN HIM THE ELECTION AND YOU BLEW IT! I HATE YOU!"

I then leap off the desk into the air and onto the smug campaign aide. He falls to the ground and I start strangling him as I yell out over and over:

"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!"

At this point the nightmare ends with me waking up with that cry still coming out of my throat.

I've had the SAME nightmare night after night and every morning I wake up the same way. In fact this very morning I woke up shouting:

"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!"

So, Mr. Forrester. PUHLEEEASE call Howard! Not only will it ensure your election victory, it will also allow me to get some decent sleep again.

Hey! I just saw Doug Forrester on CNN's Crossfire. He did a great job! Much looser than on the debates. Plus I didn't know he was such a good writer. They read an excerpt from a column he wrote about Atlantic City years ago. As a writer I can say he had a very funny writing style. I think Howard would enjoy reading that Atlantic City commentary on the air.... Oh, and before I forget:

Doug---CALL HOWARD!!!

p.s. Hopefully Forrester's funny column commentary about Atlantic City will be in the Crossfire transcript later tonight. If so, I'll post it here.

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