Unfortunately this idea is going NOWHERE. Like the ever-cautious Shundler, it looks like Forrester WON'T call Howard's show. Believe me, I would like nothing better that for this to happen but so far no indication this will happen. This SHOULD be a NO-BRAINER. Make a 10-minute call to Howard's show and get a MINIMUM of an extra 100,000 votes.
I have been having the SAME recurring nightmare for the past week. Here is what happens:
In my nightmare, I am in Doug Forrester's campaign office. Forrester is surrounded by his campaign aides and they are all discussing in minute detail the different things they need to do to attain victory in the Senate election. Most of the things they discuss are micro-management type items which all campaigns need to take care of: Campaign stops, which issues to emphasize, get-out-the-vote-efforts, etc.. And all the time they are doing this I am off to the side shouting: "DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!" over and over and over again. And yet, despite my screaming, I am totally ignored. Finally, in frustration, I hop up on Forrester's desk and begin tap-dancing and screaming to get his attention:
"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!
Finally Forrester looks up and says:
"Maybe he has a point. Perhaps I should call Howard Stern for ten minutes. It can't hurt."
At that point, I'm feeling mighty relieved but then one of Forrester's aides cuts in:
"Don't do it, Doug! Howard Stern is a lowlife. We need to run a classier campaign than that."
Those words sound familiar to me. I am thinking (remember, I'm still in my recurring nightmare) where I heard them before. Suddenly it hits me. These are almost exactly the same words used to justify Brett Shundler not appearing on Howard's show. I point an accusing finger at the Forrester aide and ask:
"Did you work in the Schundler campaign?"
"Yes I did and I am proud of the fact that I kept Brett from appearing on Howard's show. Brett had too much class to appear on Howard's show."
Now I'm jumping up and down on Forrester's desk. "Too much class? Hey, Schundler LOST because he wouldn't make ONE LOUSY STINKIN' PHONE CALL!!!"
Suddenly Forrester interjects:
"This crazy guy is right! It can't hurt to call Howard. It can only help. I'm calling Howard NOW!"
Just as Forrester picks up his phone, the campaign aide (who looks like a button-down type) grabs the phone out of Forrester's hand and says:
"Sorry Boss! I can't let you do this. It's for your own good."
"Maybe, you're right," repies Forrester. "That settles it. I'm NOT calling Howard after all."
At this point I go completely beserk. I point at the aide and scream:
"YOU STUPID MORON! HE WAS ABOUT TO MAKE THE PHONE CALL THAT WOULD WIN HIM THE ELECTION AND YOU BLEW IT! I HATE YOU!"
I then leap off the desk into the air and onto the smug campaign aide. He falls to the ground and I start strangling him as I yell out over and over:
"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!"
"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!"
"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!"
At this point the nightmare ends with me waking up with that cry still coming out of my throat.
I've had the SAME nightmare night after night and every morning I wake up the same way. In fact this very morning I woke up shouting:
"DOUG---CALL HOWARD!!!"
So, Mr. Forrester. PUHLEEEASE call Howard! Not only will it ensure your election victory, it will also allow me to get some decent sleep again.