Democrats grow meat in a vat to replace Torricelli on the ballot

9/30/02 | dead

[dead]

A group of Democratic political scientists are growing a pile of artificial meat in a drum in Rahway, New Jersey, grooming the meat as their final hope to save the Senate from the horror of Republican control.

Using collagen particles and human muscle cells taken from "certain people who were not friendly" to the state’s construction industry, the Democrats have grown 275 pounds of the viscous meat/senator substitute.

"The product will have a structure and IQ comparable to the mean average of the current Senate membership.”

The political scientists say pork, beef and chicken meat have also been added to the mix. “We would like to have a product that can pat himself repeatedly on the back with his hoof, while still accepting piles of cash with one of his wing like limbs.

While the effort to get the meat/senator substitute on to the ballot faces many hurdles, the scientists have already started filming campaign commercials for their product. “We’ve selected ‘Not Forrester. Not Torricelli. Just Meat.’ as our slogan.

The lump of meat is apparently pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-education, and full of vitamins and proteins.

“We see no reason our meat product can’t be elected. It's got the correct positions on the issues, and if you look at it in the right light, our lump of meat has a strong resemblance to the Kennedy family. Well, Ted anyway.”

[dead]

Torricelli blowed up real good.

[ChadGore]

ROFL !! *Applause*

[ChadGore]

Someone E-mail this to FOX news !

[WOSG]

lol

[governsleastgovernsbest]

[aruanan]

Democrats grow meat in a vat to replace Torricelli on the ballot

So, their slogan will be, "Come November, you can't beat our meat!?"

[dead]

Thanks, I couldn't find a picture of a vat of meat.

[dennisw]

It came out of a vat! A Demo-vat!

[Dick Bachert]

ROFLMAO! Dead! You ONE SICK PUPPY!

Good stuff.

The meat I mean.

[TC Rider]

The lump of meat is apparently pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-education, and full of vitamins and proteins.

Lump of Meat is Soylent Orange

[MomwithHope]

Thanks for a great laugh of the day, and just before I turn in.
That might explain Nadler, too much Human Growth Hormone in the vat I suspect.

[Rocko]

Worthy of The Onion.

[Coleus]

"I'm goin' places, Tom, and I'm takin' you with me!

[dead]

Spam bump

[Feiny]

I cannot believe that no one posted the Democratic slogan that will ensure this candidates victory:

YOU CAN"T BEAT OUR MEAT!!!

[ChadGore]

This is hilarious

[harry palmer]

Another bump!

[<1/1,000,000th%]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!