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Democrats grow meat in a vat to replace Torricelli on the ballot
9/30/02 | dead

Posted on 09/30/2002 3:13:23 PM PDT by dead

A group of Democratic political scientists are growing a pile of artificial meat in a drum in Rahway, New Jersey, grooming the meat as their final hope to save the Senate from the horror of Republican control.

Using collagen particles and human muscle cells taken from "certain people who were not friendly" to the state’s construction industry, the Democrats have grown 275 pounds of the viscous meat/senator substitute.

"The product will have a structure and IQ comparable to the mean average of the current Senate membership.”

The political scientists say pork, beef and chicken meat have also been added to the mix. “We would like to have a product that can pat himself repeatedly on the back with his hoof, while still accepting piles of cash with one of his wing like limbs.

While the effort to get the meat/senator substitute on to the ballot faces many hurdles, the scientists have already started filming campaign commercials for their product. “We’ve selected ‘Not Forrester. Not Torricelli. Just Meat.’ as our slogan.

The lump of meat is apparently pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-education, and full of vitamins and proteins.

“We see no reason our meat product can’t be elected. It's got the correct positions on the issues, and if you look at it in the right light, our lump of meat has a strong resemblance to the Kennedy family. Well, Ted anyway.”


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: democrat; election; forrester; left; liberals; newjersey; nj; senate; senator; torricelli
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To: rightwingreligiousfanatic
Torricelli blowed up real good.
41 posted on 09/30/2002 5:49:37 PM PDT by dead
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To: dead
ROFL !! *Applause*
42 posted on 09/30/2002 5:51:41 PM PDT by ChadGore
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To: dead
Someone E-mail this to FOX news !
43 posted on 09/30/2002 5:52:19 PM PDT by ChadGore
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To: skeeter
lol
44 posted on 09/30/2002 6:16:46 PM PDT by WOSG
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To: dead

45 posted on 09/30/2002 6:34:22 PM PDT by governsleastgovernsbest
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To: dead
Democrats grow meat in a vat to replace Torricelli on the ballot

So, their slogan will be, "Come November, you can't beat our meat!?"
46 posted on 09/30/2002 6:37:50 PM PDT by aruanan
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To: Notforprophet
Thanks, I couldn't find a picture of a vat of meat.
47 posted on 09/30/2002 6:45:41 PM PDT by dead
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To: dead

It came out of a vat! A Demo-vat!

48 posted on 09/30/2002 6:53:16 PM PDT by dennisw
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To: dead
ROFLMAO! Dead! You ONE SICK PUPPY!

Good stuff.

The meat I mean.

49 posted on 09/30/2002 7:06:01 PM PDT by Dick Bachert
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To: dead
The lump of meat is apparently pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-education, and full of vitamins and proteins.

Lump of Meat is Soylent Orange


50 posted on 09/30/2002 7:08:34 PM PDT by TC Rider
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Comment #51 Removed by Moderator

To: dead
Thanks for a great laugh of the day, and just before I turn in.
That might explain Nadler, too much Human Growth Hormone in the vat I suspect.
52 posted on 09/30/2002 7:28:23 PM PDT by MomwithHope
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To: dead
Worthy of The Onion.
53 posted on 09/30/2002 7:30:35 PM PDT by Rocko
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Comment #54 Removed by Moderator

To: Conservative_Dr.Pepper_Drinker

"I'm goin' places, Tom, and I'm takin' you with me!
55 posted on 09/30/2002 9:32:50 PM PDT by Coleus
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To: southernnorthcarolina
Spam bump
56 posted on 10/01/2002 7:34:15 AM PDT by dead
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To: dead
I cannot believe that no one posted the Democratic slogan that will ensure this candidates victory:

YOU CAN"T BEAT OUR MEAT!!!

57 posted on 10/01/2002 2:33:37 PM PDT by Feiny
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To: dead
This is hilarious
58 posted on 10/01/2002 2:34:53 PM PDT by ChadGore
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To: dead
Another bump!
59 posted on 10/01/2002 7:48:00 PM PDT by harry palmer
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To: dead
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
60 posted on 10/01/2002 7:55:10 PM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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