Should you have problems you wish to discuss, we shall consult the ( Belovedly Remembered ) Mullah's Notes for appropriate Sharias.
I am attracted to another female to the point of distraction. Just last night, I heard her outside my tent and I nearly detonated my bomb project prematurely. I am a wreck these days. I cannot concentrate on murdering innocent children, my mind strays from my work. I haven't stoned an infidel in weeks, and even my wives are starting to get suspicious, since I don't beat them nearly as often as I used to.
If my sweetie's owner finds out, I am ruined. He's already made plans to breed her.
Should I give up this fantasy and find a human female?
Signed, Abdullah, the Lonely Bedouin
I am saddened by the reaction of the American people who live near my mosque. These foul disbelievers, this stinking swinelike infidels who, Allah grant it, will be crawling in the dust and begging for forgiveness from the almighty warriors of Islam as they trample the effete, zionist-loving worms into the dust of time...for some reason they don't seem to like us. What to do?
your friend,
Bill bin Drill
I have discovered that I am exhibiting Christian tendencies. I am thinking about 'coming out' to my parents this ramadahn. Is this a good idea?
I don't know if this helps but they will be celebrating ramadahn at the Ramadainn.
The infidel women at the strip bar I frequent
have begun to laugh at me when I demand that they dance
the dance of harlots on my table for free.
Is it okay to pay these filthy naked ladies of the night
for something I already deserve?
Neeba Wash Hemselv
You have already won 20 million dollars
if your name has been pre-selected
in the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!!!
My (our) husband is tired of Hummus and Falafel night after night! The thirteen of us have put our heads - er - veils together and cannot find new and enticing dishes for chick peas! Can you help me (us)? Our beloved Master will have me (us) stoned to death if I (we) do not come up with something new!
Signed,
Fatima Abdul al-Azziz al-Sheik Fazwad (Wife #5)
Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with some lox?
Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.
You may like them.
See what your missin'.
You could share them
with a Christian!
Not satisfied with his own 13 wives and assorted concubines, plus the camels in the back garden, I caught my neighbour being most wanton with my pet goat Shakira.
So my question to you, almighty and most noble purveyor of Allah's wisdom, is what body parts should I smite from him, or should I just steal his concubine collection and move to Jersey City?
Regards,
Faisal ibn Saud Al Hejaz Goldsmith
Master, and most wise Mullah, my predicament is but the following. I have been invited to my neighbors cave to witness the September 11 ceremonies on that most evil of Jewish inventions, the big screen television.
I am pondering, and I am most certain of your proper direction, may I bring my ceremonial bongo drums to witness the destruction of the infidel's twin towers?
PLASTIC PIE, PLASTIC PIE
SHOT A SPASTIC IN THE EYE
ALLAH HEAL'D THAT SPASTIC'S EYE!
HAIL TO ALLAH, PLASTIC PIE