French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of Non-Existence of God

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[Saundra Duffy]

Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of Non-Existence of God

The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence of God.

Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the front lines.

There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will propagate fear, uncertainty and doubt by looking remote and unattainable.

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous proportions. There is no God and I can prove it."

Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's inescapapable lack of freedom of action, with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock.

However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoke from the Frenchmens' endless Gauloises and Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.

[Saundra Duffy]

This was forwarded via email to me from a friend. Have no idea who wrote this but isn't it hilarious?! For victory & freedom!!!

[Paul Atreides]

I take it this will be known as the B.O. Campaign.

[Saundra Duffy]

Will they eat pork?

[Saundra Duffy]

One used French military rifle - used once (for weird sex).

[Arkie2]

Oh man! I was really excited there for a second until I realized it's a joke. Wouldn't this be a great way to get rid of some cheese eating surrender monkeys though?

[Young Werther]

Definition-Oxymoron. A self contradictory statment such as:

"French Intellectual"

Sorry! To good to let pass!

[Saundra Duffy]

The French can kiss my butt.

[Paul Atreides]

Will they eat pork?

Yeah, the Ninth Circuit Court is bringing it.

[Lennon]

FOR SALE; ONE USED FRENCH MILITARY RIFLE,NEVER FIRED ONLY DROPPED ONCE.

Actually I think it goes, "Only dropped twice". Gotta count WWI. Three times if you want to count Vietnam.

[Saundra Duffy]

Thats really nasty.I was going to buy before you said that.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist. The French are nasty critters it seems.

[AM2000]

rofl!

[Billthedrill]

"Mes oui, Monsieur bin Laden! Subsemioticist dematerialism states that the raison d'etre of the artist is significant form. The subject is interpolated into a dialectic rationalism that includes truth as a reality. In a sense, if socialist realism holds, we have to choose between subsemioticist dematerialism and neocultural textual theory. The premise of subconstructive theory implies that reality is created by communication."

"Die, infidel dog!" (Sound of an AK-47 emptying a magazine into a rotund human figure.)

[AM2000]

They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will propagate fear, uncertainty and doubt by looking remote and unattainable.

This is rich! Thanks for posting this, Sandra!

[livius]

LOL! I guess that's before the Taliban beheads them.

I think things were a little easier in France...Dissing God just got you big bucks and lots of fame, plus all of the groupies you could handle, even if you were three feet high and looked like a toad (sorry, Jean Paul - just my opinion...).

Somebody posted the real weapon today: cans of deodorant. But that would probably take out the Existentialist Brigade, too!

[Blackyce]

Well if you have to choose between atheism and islamic fundamentalism, at least we know the atheist wont be blowing themselves up any time soon. They're all they've got.

[stlrocket]

Totally useless group of people!

FRENCH COURAGE

THE FRENCH - WHY WE HATE THEM

FRENCH JOKES (IS THAT AN OXYMORON?)

[gcruse]

For a time in college, I had one fellow
student from Israel and one from Damascus
in  several classes together.  It was hell.
The Syrian was bushy-browed, crude,
and true to the rest of the stereotype, smoked
Gauloises.  Oh, man.  The smoke smelled
like burning rubber.

The Israeli student was a bespectacled
ectomorph, again true to stereotype.
They did everything but wage war on each
other.

[syriacus]

Lucky Taliban. The US can no longer send eager "evangelists," like Walter Freeman, chief of neurology, at George Washington University.

Freeman was later to develop lobotomy with a recklessness bordering on lunacy, touring the country like a travelling evangelist, [snip] Between 1948 and 1957, he alone lobotomized 2400 patients. In most cases this procedure was nothing more than a gross and unwarrented mutilation carried out by a self-righteous zealot.