USO Canteen FReeper Style....Monday Mail Call ....July 8,2002

FRiends of the USO Canteen Freeper Style and Snow Bunny

[Aquamarine]

See post # 260.

[Aquamarine]

I don't know if you're a Racing fan or not...but I went to get my new car tag today and Bill Elliot was in line right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder what type of car that he was getting a tag for.

[SpookBrat]

I just saw the awards ceremony on TV.

"Back in Vietnam, Versace tried three more times to escape, and his treatment worsened. The last the other prisoners heard from him, he was singing "God Bless America" at the top of his lungs from his isolation box."

Amen Versace! May God bless America. Thank you for your stubborn, tenacious spirit and for your ultimate sacrifice. You won't be forgotten.

[SAMWolf]

I'm not really a race fan but Roger sure was. He would have loved to hear about Bill renewing his tags.

[JustAmy]

Thanks, it is good to be back; I've missed everyone.
I'll be busy with Tailgate stuff this week but I will stop by a couple of times a day to say hello.

[SpookBrat]

Thanks for that joke. I have that in my daughters baby book for later use. LOL It's so funny and so TRUE!!!!!

[Mr_Magoo]

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?


A nervous wreck.

[Diver Dave]

Thanks for sharing that e-mail, salvation, from a proud member of God's Army - Witness second class.

Indeed, GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!

[tomkow6]

"Did you hear about the cross-eyed discus thrower?"
"No, did he set lots of records?"
"No, but he sure kept the crowd alert!"

[SpookBrat]

Hate to a pessimist, but I'll believe it when I see it. One could only hope...

[Mr_Magoo]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea
soup?





Anyone can roast beef.

[tomkow6]

Dear Lord,
So far today, God, I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped, haven't my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent.
I'm really glad about that.
But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help!

[Mr_Magoo]

At a small airport terminal in the Texas Panhandle, three strangers are awaiting their shuttle flight.

One is a Native American passing through from Oklahoma. Another, a local ranch hand on his way to Ft. Worth for a stock show.

The third passenger is an Arab student, newly arrived at the Texas oil patch from the Middle East.

To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout Muslim. The conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside blows tumbleweeds and the old windsock flaps, but no plane comes.

Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly, he speaks: "Once my people were many, now we are few."

The Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he says with a snarl, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The Texan shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet."

[MeekOneGOP]

I don't bwame you. I'ww pwetend I'm fwom Missouwi on that one too!
Don't huwt youw wittwe head, thewe, FWiend!

LOL! The above reply brought to you by......

The Dialectizer
http://rinkworks.com/dialect/

[tomkow6]

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody
of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her
feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the
children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked
for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose
from his chair and replied, "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in
a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong
to me or the machine?"

[Mr_Magoo]

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop?




An amish drive-by shooting

[tomkow6]

How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!

How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.

If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.

What bird can lift the most?
A crane.

What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.

What clothes does a house wear?
Address.

What country makes you shiver?
Chile.

[Aquamarine]

Alright...who's Roger?

[Mr_Magoo]

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said No, you took a ride on a TRAIN! Use big people words."

She then asked Ron what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Ron thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the S**t."