Posted on 06/27/2002 10:30:34 PM PDT by Kip Lange
The Feral Cortex Kip Lange June 27th, 2002
Just when I think it’s safe to sit around and do nothing but watch softcore porn on Cinemax, the liberals rise from their dreary coffins and wander around, attempting to eat the brain of American society and culture.
What’s the target this time? The Pledge of Allegiance. The Pledge of Allegiance has been declared unconstitutional by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, or rather two members of it, although I rather suspect that underneath the human masks they wear, they are, in fact, very, very silly-looking little monkey-men (who probably have sock-sniffing addictions).
I could recite the litany of reasons why this decision is ridiculous; however, I’m sure you’ve heard most of them, and it would take more space than I have (and considering I have unlimited space, that’s a lot). Just briefly, however – if the decision stands, we have to remove “In God We Trust” from our coinage; we have to rewrite the Declaration of Independence; we have to re-carve the arches leading into several hundred different government buildings across the country, you’d have to swear on…uh…a dictionary, or maybe a really big Tom Clancy shlock novel…every time you testified in court. So help me, the non-denominational God of your choice, you would. We might even have to appoint a giant inflatable pig “Grand Poobah of the United States”. I don’t know why; don’t ask. The ramifications are endless.
Let’s examine the decision. The court ruled that under the Establishment Clause, the words “under God” are unacceptable in the Pledge, hence either they go or the Pledge goes. Here’s what the Establishment Cause says: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
What it meant, at the time, is that the federal government would not be allowed to set up a state-sanctioned religion. It did not mean that they wanted to remove God from everything. The very same first Congress which put the Establishment Clause into place also opened its legislative day with prayer and voted to apportion federal dollars to establish Christian missions in the Indian lands. Oh, excuse me, Native American lands (well, wait, actually, the Native Americans most likely came across the land bridge up north, when the continents touched, oh so long ago, and…so…okay screw it let’s call them Indians). The framers very much had in mind the Church of England debacle – Henry VIII whimsically changing religions whenever he wanted as the head of the Church of England, ditching wives, attempting to have Catholicism without a Pope…all that fun stuff . In other words, the Establishment Clause meant that there would never be a “Church of America” that everybody had to go to. That aside, face it, folks, this country was founded by drunken religious nuts with guns. Luckily, they were smart, educated, hard-working, relatively honest, tolerant, extremely thoughtful…drunken religious nuts with guns.
Anyway, who is it who made this decision? The infamous 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals – the most overturned court in the nation. This would be the same court that ruled that you can drive stoned in Idaho “as long as you can drive straight”. Nah, these guys aren’t freaky liberals, are they? Excuse me while I roll a fat spliff and pack the car up for a vacation in Idaho.
The genesis of the Pledge case stems from a Mr. Newdow, whose daughter was apparently “traumatized” by watching other schoolchildren recite the Pledge of Allegiance in class. Oh, come on! School is nothing but trauma. I was deeply traumatized by having to learn how to write cursive. I didn’t sue about it. I was deeply traumatized by the fact that I didn’t have a Scooby-Doo lunch box and everyone else did. I didn’t sue. And let’s not even discuss the amount of liberal dogma that teacher upon teacher attempted to shove down my throat – that traumatized me too (well, no, actually it pissed me off and made me even more conservative, I must confess).
Have people really become so frail that we need to resort to litagation for everything? Anyway, Mr. Newdow, I sure as hell (can I still say hell?) hope you’re right, because if you aren’t, I think you bought yourself a few millennia in purgatory, or maybe just the express elevator straight downstairs.
I will also say this: You, Mr. Newdow, and all of you members of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals – you have way too much time on your hands. Sheesh! Get a hobby! Buy a Playstation 2, get Grand Theft Auto III, maybe flip on the TV and watch some “Cheers” reruns, but for God’s sake, if this is what you do with your time…you must be the most annoyingly boring people on the face of this planet.
Let me brush all this aside and get to the major point I want to make. Although liberals drive me nuts, and are responsible for this decision, I don’t blame them. This is what they do. Idiotic things. It’s their penchant. With Socialism in its death throes, they don’t have much an ideology anymore except to attack everyone else’s ideology and then step back, smirk, and collect checks, which they cash for money that has “In God We Trust” on the back of it. No. I don’t blame the liberals; I don’t blame the Democrats. I blame the Republicans.
Why? Because the Republicans in Congress have not done anything about it. The Republicans are spineless right now. Utterly, totally, completely spineless. I’m sick of it. Not one single Bush judicial nominee has gotten appointed. The Democrats are simply stonewalling. When one of the first of the nominees was shot down, Trent Lott promised me that there would be “hell to pay”. Really? I haven’t seen anything. Not a damn thing. The Clinton appointees remain on the courts; the Bush nominees remain floating in the ether.
So here’s your chance, Republicans. You should listen to us conservatives more, you know – we gave you Reagan and Bush the Younger. We gave you tax cuts without inflation. We gave you magic cars that float and…no wait we didn’t do that. But we’re right, and we’re also right. People are outraged over this issue. The Democrats who are secretly smirking (Barbara Boxer? Nancy Pelosi?) will stand right alongside you and recite the Pledge because they know how incredibly irritated the American public is with this. This is your chance. This is your chance to show the American people that the liberal intelligentsia truly is out of touch with regular, ordinary Americans. This is your chance to stop Covering Your Asses for re-election worries and take a stand. Take this issue and ram it down the Democrats’ throats. And then ram it somewhere else, in an upwards direction. Don’t let the Democrats get away from this one. Give them hell.
Right now the Republicans in Congress are scared of their own shadows. They suffered heavy blows (no pun intended) after taking the heat for the impeachment proceedings. The burnout-blowup of Newt actually began the whole thing, then it was accelerated by the budget shutdown. However, Republicans would be wise to remember that Newt, as “controversial” as he was, is the same man who took Congress back for you. And then you, you wishy-washy moderates, you lost the Senate, because you’re too afraid to take a stand. You’re afraid to be called mean, evil conservatives. Well, that’s what they called Reagan – and history has vindicated him. And let’s also not forget that not only did Newt take the Congress back, but he also promised to pass the items on the “Contract with America” – and then he actually did it. My God! Something actually got done in Washington!
This is your moment, Republicans. You have the support, and more importantly, the massive ire, of the American people focused on the Pledge issue. Take this issue and use it to show the American people how ridiculous the agenda of the Democrats has gotten. Shine the light on the cockroaches, and show them for what they are – assholes who will stop at nothing until this country resembles France, without the Eiffel tower. Neo-Socialist feel-goodniks who never tire of telling people what’s best for them, even if people don’t want it.
Filibuster Democratic legislation. You can do it. Block every piece of legislation they propose, until Bush’s court nominees are put on the bench. Introduce legislation limiting the power of the appellate court. Make the justices accountable. The center just snapped you the ball, you idiots – now run with it. It is, after all, an election year, and this issue resonates with everyone.
This decision will most definitely be overturned within two months or so (or I’ll eat my dirty underwear, with light mayo). To quote Churchill, now is the appointed time, now, now, now, stop it now! Take a stand, Republicans, or suffer the consequences of erecting shifting Maginot Lines – your defenses will always be overrun. You can either take this issue and beat the Democrats over the head with it, or you can fade away, Cover Your Ass, and fool yourselves into thinking that putting the puffy non-entity we call Speaker of the House – Dennis Hastert – outside on the Capitol steps reciting the Pledge of Allegiance will get your point across.
It won’t. You know that. I know that. Now. Now is the appointed time. You, my Republican friends, have the responsibility of stopping this sort of idiocy now. Lose the window, lose the ball, and I will weep no tears for you when you bemoan your election results.
This one paragraph shows that you have absolutely NO clue. It makes your entire "take on it" irrelevant.
The level of political acuity IS suited to a burger flipper but I didn't want to bring it up.
You said 'bad' things about 'Republicans'.....
But some here will rant and rave about you..or your style etc.
But NEVER say one word in rebuttal to WHAT you say.
Sad...isn't it....
redrock
Please explain. I thought the Dems were avoiding confirmation of Bush's nominees?
Carolyn
1) Daschle and Jeffords are stonewalling a bunch of conservative nominees;
2) The Republican "leadership" in the Senate is doing nothing about it.
Oh yeah, and Trent Lott is a weenie.
Trent Lott promised me that there would be "hell to pay". Really? I haven't seen anything. Not a damn thing. The Clinton appointees remain on the courts; the Bush nominees remain floating in the ether.Sorry, but facts is facts -- and the facts say that the GOP makes the French Army look like Leonidas and his Spartans at Thermopylae.
BUST THE NINTH! Sign Michael Savage's Petition
*** SAVE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE ****
Forward this link ASAP! To all your friends!
http://www.homestead.com/prosites-prs/petitiontosavethepledge.html
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