Wedded bliss not a priority for U.S. bachelors (because they enjoy a sexually active single life)

Washington Times ^ | 6/26/02 | Cheryl Wetzstein

[truthandlife]

Men won't commit to marriage because they enjoy a sexually active single life in a social climate that doesn't push them to marry, a new report says. Young men are indeed "commitment phobic," which is bad news for young women who want build a family before they get too old, said researchers Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, who run the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "The median age of first marriage for men has reached 27, the oldest age in our nation's history," Mr. Popenoe said. "If this trend of men waiting to marry continues, it is likely to clash with the timing of marriage and childbearing for the many young women who hope to marry and bear children before they begin to face problems associated with declining fertility," he said. There are several specific reasons for why young men are avoiding marriage, Mr. Popenoe and Mrs. Whitehead said yesterday in their 2002 State of Our Unions report, titled, "Why Men Won't Commit: Exploring Young Men's Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage." The report is based on interviews with 60 single men, 25 to 33, who live in four parts of the country. Primarily, young men are enjoying a sexually active single life

[Denver Ditdat]

At forty-six, my hubby is quite happy making love about three times a week.

Realize that what you've just described is a month's quota for some guys - perhaps two months. Hence the "not enough".

[xsrdx]

Some women think their ***** are made of gold

BWAHAHA well said, as only a woman could say it.

None of the ***** I'm familiar with were made of gold, but it does make for a nice mental picture.

[discostu]

I don't think a wife can spend enough time around her husband to satisfy those early younger desires. The guy's gotta go to work eventually, no matter what his libido says.

[AppyPappy]

I have a lot of friends who never got married because they never saw the need.

[FastCoyote]

The researchers also found that young men are often wary of marriage because of worries that they will marry the wrong person, be forced to make too many compromises or take on too many burdens as a husband, or suffer huge losses if the marriage ends in divorce. An ex-wife will "take you for all you've got" and "men have more to lose financially than women" were common refrains.

Bluntly, the cost of doing business with women has risen dramatically with feminism. No wonder guys won't commit, you'd have to be crazy to lock yourself into the death grip of most American women.

Reading betweeen the lines, the singles ads you see are like "Lesbian BBW with attitude looking for smart, handsome affectionate man ONLY if he has a great job. Want to have babies, then get divorced, after which I will keep the kids and your paycheck." At what point do guys get smart and just dump the biatches.

[Lizavetta]

The end result of that math is that men never get as much as they want, and women that are giving as much as they want think they must be completely satisfying their man's desires.

I cannot agree with either of these statements; perhaps this is the case in your situation. I know that men and women "want to" at vastly different rates - it's not fair but that's life - but to present men as never satisfied and women as so self-oriented is maybe more a statement on the kind of women you choose.

[Denver Ditdat]

Lesbian BBW...

BBW?

[IronKros]

Couple this with the feminists attitude, like that stated by Gloria Stienem - "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle," and it could make any man back away from codifying a relationship with marriage.


She was recently married by the way...

[wimpycat]

Sour grapes whine.

[fourdeuce82d]

Some guys are content with one serving of dessert a day. :) And probably a lot more than are willing to admit it

Bingo!

although individuals may vary, at 40 my appetites are nowhere near what they were at 18-30.

Re: you comment about men & their "skill"- again, bingo. The guys I know who complain about a lack of interest on their wive's/girlfriend's are also the guys who are, shall we say, fast-food/vanilla ice cream w/no sprinkles in their approach.

Without getting into the gory details, with a little time/effort/attention, most women can become very passionate indeed. If you keep them happy, they will keep you happy.

And finally- chocolate/flowers/little stuffed animals at unexpected (but regular) intervals are a powerful aphrodisiac- She'll know what you're doing, but will be touched that you care enough to pretend to be romantic... :)

[Billthedrill]

Nicely put. More than half of my male contemporaries (I'm 50) are divorced, some two or even three times. This isn't a psychological decision at all, but one of cold, hard economics. The tendency of the Marxist element in modern feminism is the same as the tendency of the Marxist element in anything else it touches - it reduces man to economic man, (largely because economic man may be controlled and spiritual man may not).

Feminism didn't used to be like that - reading such luminaries as Mary Wollstonecraft reminds us that the rights of women took a very bad turn sometime in the 1960s, when they fell under the leftward swing of liberation theory and the pseudoscientific drive of better living by chemistry. A poisoned seed, and we are now reaping a poison plant.

[wimpycat]

You know another little mean trick Mother Nature plays on us? The one where women supposedly start to sexually peak in their mid-to-late 30's, while their 40-something year old husbands are on the downward slope.

At some point, even if for one brief, shining moment, their libidos will overtake each other...I hope.

[MEGoody]

"If a man wants to continue having a healthy sex life, the last thing he should do it get married."

Wow, do you speak from experience? If so, maybe you married the wrong woman or she married the wrong man. (If you want the woman to be willing, you better make it worth her while.) Anyway, there are plenty of married couples out there who are having frequent, great sex. Perhaps they are just more imaginative than you, preferring to explore the entire ocean of each other's sexuality rather than just dipping a toe in a number of creeks.

[RooRoobird14]

Yes, yes--- so many young men today don't get married because young women have become sluttier and more willing to debase themselves for the sake of having a man--any man--in their lives.Too many young women want to marry, but settle for shacking up. And then they go on a three-year "Men are Pigs" rampage their shackmate moves out.

Thank God I stumbled across an old-fashioned Catholic man who treated me like a royal princess from day one. I didn't give away the milk for free and he didn't ask for it. I vowed that if he asked me to shack up with him, it was over. We've been been together for 9 years, married for 6 years, and he still buys me diamonds and chases me around the dining room table--LOL.

[wimpycat]

I'm willing to bet that Mr. Motherbear is getting "it" a lot more than Bill's single (divorced) friends of around the same age.

I read somewhere in the past year or two that married men have more sex than single men, contrary to popular belief. While that may not be true for single men in their 20's, once they get into their 30's and 40's, their married contemporaries have more sex.