Posted on 06/26/2002 8:38:38 AM PDT by truthandlife
Edited on 07/12/2004 3:54:58 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
Divorce rate statistics are tricky to pin down, because they vary widely with region, the age of the marrieds, and the length of the marriage. According to census statistics, for example, marriages where one or both of the couple are under 20 years old have a whopping 85% divorce rate. However, marriages where a couple has been together for more than 25 years have less than a 10% divorce rate, and when the marriage lasts over 30 years, the numbers drop to less than 1%. Divorce rates also drop dramatically as people mature. The divorce rate of 21 and 22 year olds is double that of 24 and 25 year olds...just a few extra years of maturity makes a big difference.
Divorce rates have also been FALLING since the 1970's. While the national average is down about 2% since 1979, that number hides some interesting regional trends. In parts of the south, the midwest, and the rural areas of the western states, divorce rates have dropped by an average of 30% over the last few decades. These numbers are countered by urban divorce rates that have remained steady or risen slightly, but they demonstrate the amazing regionality of divorce numbers.
We also have to include a snippet about ethnicity here. Blacks, though statistically less likely to marry in the first place, are twice as likely to have a lifelong marriage than whites when they actually do settle down. Hispanic couples, probably due to the large number of devout Christians therein, are 30% more likely than whites to have a long, happy marriage.
Oh, and couples who go to church are 95% more likely to have a stable, long-term marriage. Even if the couple aren't particularly devout, the unifying experience of visiting church regularly and the availability of clergy to assist with marital problems makes those marriages far more likely to succeed.
So, the final numbers: A 19 year old, white, non-religious couple in a major urban area is looking at a 90+% chance of divorce the first time around. A black, Christian couple in their late 20's living in a rural area are looking at a sub-30% divorce rate. Your actual national average, nullifying both extremes, averaging the races and locations, and excluding remarriages, should end up in the lower 40% range. I've spent 30 minutes digging through studies, Census data, and NCHS research to compile this, but I'm not going to spend the hours needed to compile a more specific number for you :-)
Oh, and for the record: I am a 27 year old married man, with a 26 year old wife and two children. We've known each other since we were kids, and after half a lifetime of knowing each other and four years of marriage, no major problems have popped up. I thank God for her every day, and shake my head when I hear so many of my peers denigrating marriage or just assuming that it's "all about sex".
Yes. The lesser known counterpart to Steinem's proverb is "A man needs a woman like a fish needs a gillnet."
Amen brother. I've always believed in voting with your feet. I have zero sympathy for the mess they've created for themselves. Marriage a thing of the past? Boo-frikkin'-who. They created the problem, and they can live alone with the consequences. By the way, check out South America, Europe and the ex-Soviet Union. Because once you go, mac - you don't go back.
I knew a young lady who got married in her early twenties to a man who has led a successful career as a patent attorney. She said at the time that she didn't want any children, she wanted to focus on her career. Well, her own career went nowhere, and then in her late thirties, she decided to have children after all. The first one was normal, but the second, born after she turned forty, has Down's Syndrome and life-threatening heart problems.
If our society didn't look down so much on motherhood, if she had been informed of the much-higher genetic risks to the child of giving birth after the mother turns forty, well, things might have been different.
Please don't accuse me of insensitivity here. Nor should you accuse me of saying that the Down's Syndrome child should not be welcomed and loved. But there was a greater opportunity for her second child to have been born without genetic defect -- if she had had that child ten years earlier, or even five.
There is no need to berate her about this. She probably thinks about it every day. Now.
As for writing this here, I hope people will read these words and convey to younger women who are considering postponing child birth: please be aware about the harm you might bring upon your children, by delaying past appropriate child-bearing age.
Dust off your passport. American woman are known as the most demanding of any country. Conversely, American men are universally appreciated because of what they have to put up with. :^)
WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's a girl that's a secretary where I work that has been living with a man for almost 8 years and is DYING for an engagement ring and is wondering why she hasn't gotten one yet..........GEE I WONDER!! Oh the control it takes not to smack her upside the head...............
Women marrying across an age gap of 15+ years are most likely looking for a guy who is financially well off, who looks like George Clooney, is a celebrity, or some combination of the three. If you fit into any of those categories your chances of finding a much younger wife are pretty fair.
The alternative is to marry closer to your age, likely with a once-married woman. You can always adopt - either her children (lots of single women your age with kids) or through an agency.
It's pretty well established that certain physical traits are passed down from generation to generation. Alcoholism seems to be more prevalent in families with a prior history of excess drinking. Observing a lazy or abusive father for 18 years may also influence how a young man conducts his affairs later in life. Yeah, I'd say there is some truth there.
Good genes are passed along as well. I'm fortunate to have a full head of (albeit graying) hair at 41, an age when many of my contemporaries are fretting over their thinning or nonexistant cranial coverings. Examples of a life well-led also seem to have an effect on a man's dealings with a spouse, children, and co-workers once he has left home.
I would have been slightly annoyed at age 18 had anyone compared me to my dad. Two decades plus later, I take it as a supreme compliment.
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