Wedded bliss not a priority for U.S. bachelors (because they enjoy a sexually active single life)

Washington Times ^ | 6/26/02 | Cheryl Wetzstein

[truthandlife]

Men won't commit to marriage because they enjoy a sexually active single life in a social climate that doesn't push them to marry, a new report says. Young men are indeed "commitment phobic," which is bad news for young women who want build a family before they get too old, said researchers Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, who run the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "The median age of first marriage for men has reached 27, the oldest age in our nation's history," Mr. Popenoe said. "If this trend of men waiting to marry continues, it is likely to clash with the timing of marriage and childbearing for the many young women who hope to marry and bear children before they begin to face problems associated with declining fertility," he said. There are several specific reasons for why young men are avoiding marriage, Mr. Popenoe and Mrs. Whitehead said yesterday in their 2002 State of Our Unions report, titled, "Why Men Won't Commit: Exploring Young Men's Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage." The report is based on interviews with 60 single men, 25 to 33, who live in four parts of the country. Primarily, young men are enjoying a sexually active single life

[Phantom Lord]

As for the sex with JAP's, I've found that the problem isn't their biological impulses but their desire to be a princess.

Not to mention that JAPs only make love facing Tiffanys.

Though my JAP is on the mild side as far as JAPs go.

[Don Myers]

"...that kind of thinking breaks marriage down into something primarily about sex, which I think is a limiting view of it."

That seems to be what the male/female relationship has become.

[sarasmom]

I have not turned into my mother.

The count was at 118 and I have not seen my favorite saying so here goes:

Men are only good for one thing, and most aren't to good at that.

I know many women who bemoan the lack of ahem,activity, in their marriages.It is not a male or female thing, it is more a miss-match of expectations.Sex and the denial of sex, is a weapon used by both sides in marginal relationships.

Marriage is never 50/50.Sometimes its 90/10,sometimes 24/76. It is the most exciting partnership game available. But to "play" this game successfully requires that both people involved see each other as lifetime partners, not competitors.Walking side by side is wonderfull.The reality of life means you must also stand back to back.

Having been in a good marriage gone bad (alcohol+drugs = sexlife/marriage over)I still believe happiness is best achieved by the union of a man and woman who join together as full partners in life.

As a single woman/mother, I view single men as fascinating and potentially dangerous diversions. I avoid "romantic" involvements.While I know for a fact it is possible to enter into a true union, mostly I see that men will only break my heart and cost me money.

I will get back into dating when my child is full grown,perhaps.I hope so.Till then I will just snicker at the neverending "war" between the sexes.

Men and women are surely different, but we both long for the same thing.Each other.

[JMJ333]

"Destroy the family, you destroy the country." -V.I. Lenin

[patton]

For an alternative perspective, I am terrified that something should happen to my wife.

We have been married about 15 years, and have three kids.

I could not pay someone to do her job: at-home mom.

I love her, and I am absolutely dependant on her - just as she depends on me to pay the bills.

Sometimes the sex is great, sometimes we are just too tired - so what?

[sarasmom]

I think you missed my point, or perhaps I was not clear enough.;^)

IMHO men and women are only whole when they truly partner with each other.

[JulieRNR21]

We are fortunate indeed....Thanks for your response....

[altair]

I'm pro import myself. The oriental models tend to be more subservient.

Um, subservient is not a word I would use to describe oriental women.

[weikel]

Why let some shrew take half your property and extort you for the rest of her life. It only makes sense to marry up.

[weikel]

Men never do anything--they're just taken to the cleaners by evil, scheming women and the law is on their side, according to your post.

Generally he is right most divorces are initated by women and they get half the stuff. Why should I risk that there is no rational reason to.

[weikel]

bump

[weikel]

Bump any man who marries a woman who isn't much richer than he is is a sucker( some get lucky but many don't).

[technochick99]

I'm turning into my mother, but I couldn't pick a better role model in the world!

[technochick99]

So there are no women who are your economic equals, or even higher on the ladder than you? Wow.

[usadave]

The researchers also found that young men are often wary of marriage because of worries that they will marry the wrong person, be forced to make too many compromises or take on too many burdens as a husband, or suffer huge losses if the marriage ends in divorce.

In other words, young men today are wary of marriage for the same reasons that young men in the 1970's, 1950's, 1930's, and 1910's were wary of marriage.

[Nataku X]

Primarily, young men are enjoying a sexually active single life — often with a live-in girlfriend — and "are in no hurry" to marry, the researchers said.

It's hard, there is so much peer pressure going on that no one would blink an eye if I moved in with my boyfriend. Loneliness and lack of sexual fulfillment is the bane of Christian singlehood.

Reading this article made me realize that living with a loved one outside of marriage will make him less likely to buy the cow.

Thanks for posting this. Makes life a little easier for us single girls. Now I'm off to fighting with JDBC for another day at the salt mines...

[Publius6961]

I'm married to a Long Island JAP. Almost like a foreign import. But with attitude.

LOL.
You got my vote for this weeks's winner for understatement.

[Publius6961]

I'm married to a Long Island JAP. Almost like a foreign import. But with attitude.

Some people are hopeless...
When they discharge an obligation, the report can be heard for miles around.

with apologies to Mr. Clemens...

[Publius6961]

If raising this dog is something like raising a child, I am NOT ready for children.

It's infinitely worse!
It lasts a lot longer... they talk back...

You can't "take them back" or give them to an unsuspecting sucker.
Well, you can... but it's universally frowned upon. Never mind.

Having had three kids and one puppy, I speak from experience.
Here Scooby... Where is that "spritz" dog?

[sadimgnik]

...Couple this with the feminists attitude, like that
...stated by Gloria Stienem - "A woman needs a man like a
...fish needs a bicycle," and it could make any man back
...away from codifying a relationship with marriage.



Umm .. is that codifying, or cod-ifying?