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Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?
Me

Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: boring; soccer; sucks
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To: MadIvan
"Why this love as a child doesn't translate to adult fans is odd."...Good point Ivan.

Our Major League Soccer is very weak because of our biased media. When our media can instantly make millions on the traditional sports in America, there going to do it.

Oh, it is going to happen Ivan. It is just a matter of time.

121 posted on 06/04/2002 12:10:06 PM PDT by AGreatPer
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To: MadIvan
I love Soccer, I think it is a fantastic sport to watch. I just watched Brazil v. Turkey and now Italy v. Ecuador.

Who am I rooting for? ENGLAND!

122 posted on 06/04/2002 12:10:29 PM PDT by diotima
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To: al_c
Don't forget about the actual playing time. Soccer is non stop for 90 minutes. American Throw and Catch (as an Irish friend once put it) is a lot of standing around, then they run a play that lasts maybe a few seconds, take a two minute timeout for TV, run another few seconds, stand around some more ...

Good points. Also keep in mind that NFL football players are unable to play both sides of the ball: when possession changes, all eleven players go to the sidelines and are replaced by another eleven. Wide receivers are too wimpy to play defense and defensive linemen are too slow to play on offense. And don't forget special teams--the starters can't be bothered running punt or kickoff coverage.

123 posted on 06/04/2002 12:10:53 PM PDT by stillonaroll
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To: mr1776
Is the US in the World Cup? I haven't seen a thing in the paper here.

Yep. They're first game is early tomorrow morning (our time). That's another problem with World Cup this year as far as the US goes. With it being on the other side of the world, the games are on in the early morning here, so only the loyal fans will tune in. Yes, I'm setting my alarm a bit earlier tomorrow morning.

124 posted on 06/04/2002 12:11:13 PM PDT by al_c
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To: Tomalak
If the Americans had invented football, the World Cup would not have any non-American teams, the players would all wear more armour and padding than a Roman Centurion, and the foot would make less contact with the ball than the hands.

hmmm. Name one US sport in which we crown a "world champ" that any other country could beat that team in...

Soccer players should wear tons of armor, since getting hit with other players' shoelaces, hair, jersey, breath and shadows seems to incapicatate them for several minutes at a time.

Football didn't use to be all about passing...

125 posted on 06/04/2002 12:12:13 PM PDT by mr1776
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To: diotima
Who am I rooting for? ENGLAND!

I appreciate your sentiments. I myself am supporting England (of course) and America (since some Americans apparently would rather ignore the fact that the team exists in the first place).

I hope America shock the hell out of Portugal tomorrow.

Regards, Ivan

126 posted on 06/04/2002 12:12:23 PM PDT by MadIvan
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To: MadIvan; cardinal4
Ivan, don't listen to these guys. I LOVE the NFL and college football, but I also LOVE soccer. I spent five years at Menwith Hill Station in the early 70s. We had the only all-American supporters club for any English club - in our case, Leeds United. Their players regularly came up to our mess. I met and bonded with Jack Charlton; Norman Hunter was our favorite.

We traveled all over the UK, visiting the shrines - Anfield, Wembley, Stamford Bridge, Maine Road, The Baseball Ground, and of course our own beloved Elland Road. In 1972, we were treated to one of the best games ever played: the best Manchester United had to offer against Leeds. We saw George Best, Bobby Charlton, Dennis Law, Marty Buchan, inter alia. I can't remember all of them, but it was one of the classics.

Further duty took me to Italy and Argentina where I saw the best those countries had to offer as well. We lived 20 minutes from the Olympic Stadium in Rome. My sons and I went there regularly to see AS Roma and Lazio take on the cream of Italy. We also saw that 1977 European Cup Final where Liverpool dismantled Borussia Monchengladbach. I went a couple of times to different parks in Buenos Aires, but it did get a bit dangerous there.

I wish that they were playing the current championship in the early morning hours there instead of us having to watch it taped or get up with the chickens ourselves.

127 posted on 06/04/2002 12:12:24 PM PDT by Ax
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To: MadIvan
A Soccer player- (albeit a very weird one who wears womens undergarments, but so did Joe Namath of the Jets)
128 posted on 06/04/2002 12:13:13 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: MadIvan
Why this love as a child doesn't translate to adult fans is odd.

Once you're done playing, in perhaps high school or college, that's the end of it. Our professional soccer league isn't all that great, and it's not in many cities, so that leaves the World Cup as the only chance to follow a team.

The MLS, by the way, has made the idiotic decision to keep playing during the World Cup. Who's going to watch those games when all of the star players are on the US team? I don't even bother with that league. If I want to watch good soccer, I can get most English Premiere League games in the US now.
129 posted on 06/04/2002 12:13:51 PM PDT by July 4th
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To: GulliverSwift
What I don't like is that the liberal media tries to foist soccer down our throats. See this thread about how liberals love soccer and conservatives don't.

Give me a break. The media, liberal or conservative, doesn't give a rat's ass about soccer. If you avoid the sports section in the paper, you probably wouldn't know the event exists.

The irony is that article was written by a conservative. And the other irony is he was pointing out that liking a sport has nothing to do with one's political beliefs, even though I know that idea is hard for some people here to grasp.

I said I don't care who wins the World Cup, and I certainly do not.

And I don't care if you do or not. You certainly care enough to start a thread about why you don't care about it. I don't care about NASCAR, but don't start threads about how I'm sick about hearing about it in the media, which you hear far, far, far more in the US media than soccer.

130 posted on 06/04/2002 12:13:53 PM PDT by Nate505
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To: KarlInOhio
In the Stanley Cup finals, the fans come to watch the players fight. In the World Cup, players come to watch the fans fight.

I'm a little surprised to hear an ignorant comment like this from ESPN. Anyone with a passing knowledge of hockey knows that fighting is almost nonexistent in the Stanley Cup playoffs.

131 posted on 06/04/2002 12:14:20 PM PDT by Alberta's Child
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To: Ax
What is truly getting my goat is the fact that the Americans have a decent team who are playing in an important match tomorrow...and so few people care. For God's sake, these men strove and fought to get to the top level of their sport and now is the big challenge...and what do I hear? "Oh it's a sport for Euro-weenies". The men who are going out to represent your country tomorrow don't think so. At the very least, given what they are doing, those who do should maintain a respectful silence.

Best Regards, Ivan

132 posted on 06/04/2002 12:15:11 PM PDT by MadIvan
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To: KarlInOhio
I grew up with soccer, and I detest that sport now.
133 posted on 06/04/2002 12:15:16 PM PDT by Alberta's Child
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To: aShepard
makes "American football" players look like panting pansies after running a twenty yard play

Bwhahaahahh. Right. In an endurance contest, I'll take 100 defensive backs over 100 soccer players anyday of the week. Not only can we run fast, we can also take a HIT instead of bawling after some weak slide tackle. Owwwwwwwwww. Reffffff Call a penalty. I'm hurt...wahhhhhhhh. ROFL.

134 posted on 06/04/2002 12:16:31 PM PDT by Dan from Michigan
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To: honeymagnolia
It was funny that you mentioned necks. I'm American, but grew up overseas (Brazil) and played soccer until I came back to the USA. It was a culture shock for me to learn all of the new sports: football, basketball, baseball and hockey. The first sport I tried to get into was football. It took about 2 seasons of NFL in order for me to get into it. But the first few games I was amazed at the necks of the players - their heads were narrower than their necks!!! I then went to watch a Cowboy football game and went away never wanting to go watch football live at a stadium again!!! There were too many timeouts, and it was the most boring afternoon that I had spent in a long time!!! I finally am able to enjoy football again after watching some great college games over the past few years...I have just learned to accept that it is a cultural thing to love soccer and that a person has to develop an interest in it just like the 79 year old man who watches every minor league game and has a scorecard for each one of them!!! I understand the criticism of soccer...there are a lot of bad games, but there are also some very beatiful soccer games and majorly talented individuals in the sport. One more ramble: I like soccer because it is more fun to play than to watch. Anyone with almost anykind of physique can play...Football is limited to 250-350 lb players...it is expensive and you don't see pick-up games everywhere--only organized teams, etc. Baseball - doughnut eating, tobacco chewing, crotch scratching and...great hand-eye coordination limits its appeal to me. Basketball - the only American sport which I have truly embraced for the same reasons as soccer...a great pick-up game where anyone can play (girls and guys), and doesn't require expensive clothing, specialized, organized team events...just find a church or park and you've got hoops...
135 posted on 06/04/2002 12:16:43 PM PDT by Maringa
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To: East Bay Patriot
F- soccer. It's a tedious, boring, low-scoring, idiot game played by fans who cannot keep their own violence in check. Heck, Americans can sit anywhere in a stadium and root for anyone. You may get razzed, you may even get some beer spilled on you. But you won't get a concussion and brain-damage from hooligans head-butting you and then kicking you when you're down.

I take it you've never been to a Raiders/Broncos game. Surprising, since you are such the accomplished traveler...

136 posted on 06/04/2002 12:19:01 PM PDT by Nate505
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To: GulliverSwift
As far as I can tell, the only sports dumber and more boring than soccer are baseball and football.

Especially baseball.  That has to be the dumbest spectator sport ever.  (I'd include golf but it was never intended to be a spectator sport.  Although, if you know how to play golf, it's not really all that boring to watch.  But, if you know how to play baseball, it's still boring as hell to watch.)

The most exciting spectator, mainstream sport we have is basketball.  Not that I'm into watching it.  But, if I had to sit and watch a sport for 3 hours one day it would be basketball.

Still...soccer requires a level of athleticism no major American sport requires.

137 posted on 06/04/2002 12:19:40 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny
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To: codebreaker
I read all of the English papers online and no one seems to be bringing up the wobbly nature of the captain of the English side.

It is that they need him on a pedestal to cover him and sell papers... I almost think he begged off because he was saving himself for the next two games which is an even worse sin to an American-being a quitter.

Beckham's foot probably hurt like hell...running four or five miles just six weeks after breaking it. They need him at 100% to face Argentina. If he's not at full strength, the English side is toast.

138 posted on 06/04/2002 12:20:05 PM PDT by stillonaroll
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To: Bob Quixote
baseball is inovative

Yeah, and it's entertaining too...right? 4 hours of watching some guy spit, scratch, and hit the ball 1 out of every 5 times is not my idea of a fun afternoon. It's the perfect sport for doing something else while you listen to it on radio.
139 posted on 06/04/2002 12:20:14 PM PDT by July 4th
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To: MadIvan
What has the U.S. squad done to earn our attention?

They lost EVERY game last time and finished last IN THE WORLD.

In America, you win or go home dead trying. The difference between our cultures is that Americans would have given Becks a standing ovation for trying to score the winning goal against the Swedes by staying in the game the other night instead of quitting. (and he would have been a hero maiming himself in the process)

Instead the Euros are happy with a tie.

140 posted on 06/04/2002 12:21:08 PM PDT by codebreaker
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