Nearly 30,000 individuals have visited Cornell Review Online to read my March 4th article, College Girls: Unpaid Whores [editor's note: that number is now approaching 60,000]. While some readers have been supportive of my analysis of college girls descent into a moral tar pit, many others have been reacting like hysterical women (I know, thats redundant).
Take Keith McCrosky for example, a member of a popular community blog. McCrosky posted this bizarre fantasy about me:
Which would make this a good time for one of those TV flash-forwards where we're all sitting around 30 years from now and Sabia has become the repressive ruler of the planet and we all feel really bad about not doing anything about it so someone starts a thread about "if you could go back in time and kill Sabia as a baby, would you?"
This is a total outrage. How dare he write such a horrific statement? For him to suggest that it will take me that long to become the repressive ruler of the planet is unconscionable.
The obsession with my becoming ruler of the world echoed with fellow blogite Aaron Dickey, who offered:
You think you know how to spin your words with absolute precision to force your opponents into a saliva-spewing frenzied rage. Well, guess what? You're a nobody, an amateur. It's time for you to bow down before the One True Master: Cornell University doctoral candidate Joseph J. Sabia.
When respondents werent predicting my rise to the post of Fuhrer of the Fourth Reich, they were alleging gay relationships between prominent journalists and myself. One fellow who lists his name as Abdul El Bulbul Emir Sanchez (check the FBIs Ten Most Wanted list!) stated:
You guys need to understand the background on Sabia. (I went to Cornell so I know all about the guy.) He is a gay Republican (such creatures do exist, don't ask me why). He is supposedly "special friends" with Matt Drudge, who is also gay as most of you probably know. I now live in DC and saw Sabia and Drudge together walking near Dupont Circle. They certainly looked like they had a very "close" relationship.
Wow. I have been outed by a liberal named Abdul for having a gay affair with Matt Drudge. I guess that completes the Circle of Hell.
Almost all commentary on my article degenerated into some sort of debate about whether I was getting any. Whenever anyone came to my defense, he was dismissed as gay, a Bible thumper, or a right-wing wacko. Debating the substance of my article was considered off-topic.
Anti-Christian bigotry was very prevalent out in libertine-land. A guy calling himself Chuck U. Farley professed
Quick summary of this article: Women are ditching the outdated Christian attitudes toward sex, and that completely goes against the outdated Christian attitudes toward sex. This, according to the outdated Christian attitudes toward sex, makes them whores and sluts and sinners and I'm getting all tingly thinking about it and I'd better eat my cornflakes and wear baseball mitts on my hands and avoid looking directly at my genitalia I am so scared mommy help so scared Jesus.
Another man with the handle TypoFlyspray followed up with:
Spoken like a fellow who everyone knows as a tiny little penis. Don't worry, bucko, Jeebus loves you, even if the whores snicker at your miget [sic] equipment and the rest of the unwashed heathen think you're a prize winning jerk.
And then theres the adorable Storm Shadow who simply stated:
Joseph J. Sabia must take it in the a$$. Just my thoughts.
Sean Mooney, of UC Berkeley, was also upset at the religious tone of my article.
It is obvious that this guy Joseph Sabia is on some kind of maniacal Christian Coalition agenda to make all women the virginal vision of beauty. I respect his opinion but must digress to the fact that his diatribe is coating in the sticky stank of Robert Reed.
I pointed out to Mr. Mooney that he probably meant Ralph Reed since Robert Reed was the father on Brady Bunch. Referring to a deceased former AIDS patient as having a sticky stank coating is a horribly unfortunate error.
The University of Texas Tatiana Reed titled her message Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir? and asked me to call her if I am ever in Toronto. It was the sort of note that forced me to bathe after reading it.
Carl Youngblood proudly wrote me about how he talks to his children about birth control because I was always more concerned about the implications of their broken hearts than the thought of them having sex. After positing that I was sexually assaulted by my mother, he offered his religious view:
One last thing before I go. Your god didn't exist to the Incas nor to the Norsemen or to hundreds of civilizations that came before. Your god doesn't even exist to more than half the peoples on the earth today. Haven't you ever watched the Discovery channel? Haven't you ever heard of evolution?Haven't you heard about cloning and DNA? Mankind is god Mr. Sabia. Even if close minded, sun worshipping hold outs like yourself refuse to see it.
Sun worshiping holdouts? What is this man talking about? Perhaps he should spend a bit less time giving condoms to his kids and a bit more time studying Christian theology.
Stephanie Jones was rather brazen in her attitude toward womens rights. In a note to me, she proclaimed:
Thanks for your concern but, we don't need it. We will shake our titties in the face of adversity and disrespectful busybodies such as yourself.
Well, Steph, I am sure that your grandma is proud of what youve become.
Harvard Universitys Jon Levin offered evidence of his Ivy League education by remarking,
Do you have trouble getting laid, because if you do, you shouldnt [sic] shove that blame on others, it could be your parents' fault.
Levins classmate, Nicholas Garrison, agreed, saying:
Your article on female sexuality and feminism is moronic. You need to grow up.
These comments deeply wound me. Harvard used to be an elitist campus, full of scholarly gentlemen. Garrison and Levin are proof that the Era of Chivalry is dead. Perhaps Cornel Wests rap CDs have something to do with that.
Tom Bosworth of Milwaukee, Wisconsin believes that Ive got it all wrong. According to him, it is the married women who are the real hussies.
Women who have casual sex may be criticized or pitied for various reasons,but they have given up sexual manipulations in return for something far more powerful: equality They may well have emotional problems, but they don't trade sex for dinner, nor for a house, car, and a husbands income. Women who do are the real "unpaid" whores.
Kathleen Fischer, a self-proclaimed budding journalist at Carnegie Mellon University, also believes that my perspective is totally wrong.
Perhaps you can look at things this way: It's women's turn to try f^^^ing up the world, or just wrecklessly f^^^ing, as men have for centuries.
Let me say that I wholeheartedly disagree with the notion that women should gain control of the world. We cannot afford an entitlement program for shoes.
Fischer concludes,
Good luck. Hopefully you can find yourself an apron wearing, cookie baking, Bible toting, frigid in the bedroom little woman to please you.
Contrary to popular belief, thats not the kind of woman Id want. Shed have to make tasty biscuits too.
Hasn't this little higher mind ever read the Bible? The part about Jesus saying to go through the narrow door, and that few find it?
This guy rocks lol
Newt Gingrich, are you listening?
If the above were actually true it would certainly strenghten the socio-cons' case. Sadly from what I've seen it doesn't matter whether you're a liberal, conservative, communist, or fascist. You get into positions of power and you just can't resist the temptation to legislate your vision of how you think the world should be. Or would you seriously expect me to believe that if we lived in a Social Conservative America that we wouldn't have a whole spate of laws governing all kinds of moral (or ethical) behavior? Or would you really leave Roe vs. Wade on the books? I didn't think so.
I don't have a problem with the Religious Right espousing their views and wanting to re-introduce morality back into America (though you would get an argument from me about morality having truly left America). I do have a problem with the Religious Right saying that they don't want to legislate morality when clearly given the chance they would. Be honest about your positions. If you feel you have to slink or sneak around to get the job done there's something fundementally wrong with your position then, in my opinion. That goes double for the left.
p.s. The author is totally off base with the "tight clothes" and drinking in a bar comment. Since when does 1+1=3. Tight clothes do not equate with immoral behavior. Getting drunk in a bar does not equate with immoral behavior (though it does show a lack of judgement). Yet if one wears tight clothes and gets drunk in a bar it's immoral? And why only women are immoral? What about men who wear tight jeans and go get drunk in a bar? They'r not immoral? This whole concept is not well thought out by the author or at the very least is not well explained.