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Thank Your Lawyer National Month
Victims of Law ^ | 3/10/02 | Zarade

Posted on 03/10/2002 9:19:13 AM PST by Beata

Send a Thank you Bill to your Lawyer - National Attorneys Month 2002

Thank you Lawyer Month is a program to thank selected attorneys for taking resources previously responsible to pay your electricity and grocery bills.

Thanks to your Lawyer, you don't have to worry about those bills anymore! You simply can't pay them, because you're paying for the Esquire's new horse & outdoor - heated olympic-size swimming pool.

Thank you Lawyer Month is:
March 2002 through March 2012 [end-times]
The program is concurrent with the National Thank your Justice Month & Millennium period.

Dear Lawyer,

Your firm is the center of monetary sensory depravation in your community.
During National Attorneys Month, the American Victims-of-Law Association invites your firm to participate in the Thank you Lawyer Month program - a new-nation wide event to highlight and celebrate Lawyers activities and schemes and "defeat stories made possible through the support of selected clients and their very last dollars".

We realize that thanking your Lawyer, by paying his bill, is something you may already be doing on a regular basis. In establishing a Thank You Lawyer Month, we are asking you to band together with millions of Victims across the country to generate media attention on a national scale.

You should invite elected officials, the community, the media, and supporters and other Victims to meet people who have malefited from your Lawyer's defense. Get your board of trustees, friends group, and public supporters involved as early as possible. (They can help you get the elected official there and work with you to improve the day's presentation.) 

Good infamous publicity increases awareness and builds support among the general public, government decision-makers and other supporting organizations, and likely legal services users. 

Thank you! to all Lawyers, now owners of my own Social Security retirement funds. 

"Very truly yours" (not)

Victim-of-Law

ps.:
sample Thank You letter

Dear Mr. (his/hers Esquireness' name) Lawyer:

Enclosed please find a final billing with regard to your handling of my matter.
If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call me.

Date/Slip             Description             Hours/Rate     Amount            Total
1997/2002           Long-suffering       60,000           $150,000.000   4 mil
                            Legal-Abuse         $495/hr 
                            Syndrome             (why not)

TOTAL BILLABLE TIME CHARGES 60,000
TOTAL NEW CHARGES More than you can pay
BANKRUPTCY HOTLINE: 1-800-MOMMA-SAVE-ME-FROM-THEM-SHARKS



TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Announcements; Breaking News; Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Editorial; Free Republic; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: abuse; bankruptcy; corruption; foodstamps; inflicted; legal; legally; need; possible; reform; syndrome
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To: andysandmikesmom
I sort of agree with you regarding the insurance companies. They are often the villains in getting unconstitutional laws passed.

I also dislike lawyers as a group but have to admit the only two I ever used were pretty decent guys. They won their case and didn't charge a lot either.

There is one lawyer group that I think are the absolute dregs of society. That group is legal aid.

I have a nephew who was a truly pitiful case. He had been abused by the system and by his ex-wife. She sued him regarding child-support. He had made all his payments and even had pretty good, though not perfect proof. She waited until he could no longer obtain his cancelled checks due to the bank destroying them and went to her local (in another state) child support enforcement office.

Despite the fact that he didn't owe her a cent, that agency and the court would not even allow him to present his evidence. The judge simply told him he had no choice but to enforce the other state's order. He threatened to throw him in jail but finally allowed him 60 days to contact the other state.

This poor fellow was disabled and living in a shack in the woods. He asked legal aid for assistance but they declined, saying it didn't meet their criteria despite his being destitute and having an extremely strong case.

He asked me for assistance and I took him to a lawyer who was kin to both of us. He agreed to take the case for free and commented that legal aid only took PC cases. This lawyer went to court, won the case easily and said the Judge and the local child support office had no business even allowing it in court.

21 posted on 03/10/2002 11:35:56 AM PST by yarddog
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To: Beata
Of course I appreciate both the humor in this piece and the intent behind it. However, there are lawyers, and there are lawyers.

I have no "olympic-sized heated sminning pool" and never will have one. I have no BMW, and never will have one.

I practice constitutional law. It is no way to get wealthy. For my 16 briefs in the Supreme Court I have been paid, on average, about $800. I know civil layers who charge that much for an uncontested divorce. I know criminal lawyers who get paid five times that much to defend a serious driving-while-intoxicated case.

There is honor in defending the Constitution in the highest court in the land. That's why a handful of lawyers specialize in such work, despite the low pay. But, trust me, no one has greater disrespect for the rank and file of the legal profession (and for many of its leaders) than we do.

When you think about the many lawyers who are rip-off artists, don't lump all of us in the same pile. We aren't all like that.

I recall a column years ago by Russell Baker about the invasion of Japanese cars in our markets. He noted the fact that they have far less lawyers than we do. He described lawyers as the "sand in the gears of the American economy."

His solution was that we send Japan a lawyer for every 100 cars they send us. Eventually, their economy would be gummed up and ours would be running better, so our cars would compete effectively with theirs. Not a bad suggestion, but I'm sure the World Trade Organization would charge us with "illegal trade practices" or possibly "dumping toxic wastes without a permit" if we tried to implement the idea.

Congressman Billybob

Tomorrow's column will be "Approaching the Heliopause."

22 posted on 03/10/2002 12:03:56 PM PST by Congressman Billybob
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To: andysandmikesmom
I deal with lawyers as a matter of course. One, I even go hunting with.

However, the problem with lawyers is like picking a spouse and getting married. You don't know what you really are getting. If you get a good one, well, you're simply lucky. And if you get a bad one, it's hell.

23 posted on 03/10/2002 12:50:05 PM PST by elbucko
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To: Congressman Billybob
BUMP !!!!!!
24 posted on 03/10/2002 1:39:15 PM PST by Donald Stone
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To: elbucko
Lawyers embody the phrase "Necessary Evil"...
25 posted on 03/10/2002 2:18:20 PM PST by motzman
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To: elbucko
Luckily for us, one of my husbands friends had dealings with this particular law firm that we used...and of course, my husband checked out this law firm as far as he was able...they had an excellent reputation, were really upfront with my husband as far as what they thought of the case(They thought the insurance company was way out of line and had no legal grounds to stand on, altho there is no such thing as a slam dunk)

When the insurance company finally made their first offer, the lawyer thought it was an insult(They offered 10% of the liability ceiling)..The lawyer of course, passed on their offer to my husband, but with his strong recommendation that he turn it down...the lawyer said he was willing and ready to go to trial on just the contingency basis, so sure he was of getting a lot more...and indeed he did...

And it was difficult for us, because we live in Washington state, and the accident happened in Illinois...so my husband, when going back to Chicago for his dads funeral, is when he got the lawyer...so everything had to be done long distance, which made things more difficult...but the lawyer always called us with any news, always took our calls collect, and when they won the case, the head of the firm called us on the phone, and congratulated us with the news...very professional, and they fought hard for us....

So why should anyone begrude lawyers their money, if earned honestly...

There are rotten apples in any profession...there are rotten doctors, rotten police, rotten politicians, rotten this or that...but you are right, it can be difficult finding a good lawyer, one who will work for you, and not rip you off...

26 posted on 03/10/2002 2:38:34 PM PST by andysandmikesmom
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To: yarddog
Well, this particular insurance company really floored me with their attitude...I wont name them, will just mention that they were not a small fly-by-night insurance company....they are one of the biggest, nationwide insurance companies, who advertise on TV, about how great they are...baloney....

We formerly had our own car and home insurance with them, and we found other insurers and cancelled them out...we advised any friends and family we had about the shoddy treatment we had received at their hands...and many of them also took their insurance business elsewhere...Dont suppose our switching our insurance carriers hurt them any, but it was just the principle of the thing...They are not a 'good neighbor', they are a 'bad neighbor'(hint, hint)...

27 posted on 03/10/2002 2:43:44 PM PST by andysandmikesmom
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To: andysandmikesmom
WOW AND DOUBLE WOW! You have a patriotic duty to post your Lawyer's name & address for all America to behold, as THE ONLY HONEST Lawyer (contradiction in terms)on this side of the Universe!!! And he worked on CONTINGENCY? Only an alien from Mars would do such thing. Did he have little green antennas on his head too?
28 posted on 03/10/2002 3:03:36 PM PST by Beata
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To: Beelzebubba
Hahahahahahahahaha ask your esquiremate to tickle you!
29 posted on 03/10/2002 3:06:07 PM PST by Beata
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To: Congressman Billybob
My sincere apologies to any remaining honest lawyers. This is my very first time honestly hearing of their existance. On a percentage scale, do you think honest lawyers would fill a 15% of the pie? Maybe I've only heard from the bad side. My apologies again, de facto and prima facie...what about Toga parties, is that true or fiction?
30 posted on 03/10/2002 3:16:50 PM PST by Beata
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To: Beata
One law professor's got it right: our system stinks LINK
31 posted on 03/10/2002 3:22:31 PM PST by aculeus
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To: My Favorite Headache
Ninety-eight out of one hundred lawyers, **** well, I can't say it here. The other two I deal with are the brightest and have common sense too, which they don't teach at law schools.

They usually end up thanking me because I respect two attorneys in the entire State of Florida and they appreciate my high regard for them.

The rest can stay in the yellow pages trying to look friendly. It is simply a ploy.

32 posted on 03/10/2002 6:22:04 PM PST by floriduh voter
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To: Donald Stone
Good for you. I have a cheatin' condo board and property manager. My next attorney is going to help me get the board seat I was cheated out of and then we are going to show the property manager the door. My constituents are behind me 100%. The attorney is for strategy and to give my cause legitimacy. Election cheating, retaliation, discrimination, exploitation of the elderly, forbidding me from speaking, trying to charge me for THEIR attorney. Yes, when justice needs to be done, I APPLAUD GOING THE LEGAL ROUTE.

However, in matters of personal injury, going it alone will get the claimant more cash in the long run. PI attorneys are the sharks and then there's all these attorneys running for governor in Florida. I am suffocating. Please go away Janet and McLawyer!

33 posted on 03/10/2002 6:28:36 PM PST by floriduh voter
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To: JD86
Ping
34 posted on 03/10/2002 6:54:17 PM PST by pad 34
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To: MadRobotArtist
a hearty LOL bump.
35 posted on 03/10/2002 7:13:30 PM PST by TheGoodDoc
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To: floriduh voter
The rest can stay in the yellow pages trying to look friendly. It is simply a ploy.>>>>>>>>

LMAO!!!

36 posted on 03/10/2002 7:28:06 PM PST by My Favorite Headache
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To: Beata
I am going to go to Law School when I graduate college. I think that a minority of lawyers(John Edwards) give the profession a bad reputation.
37 posted on 03/10/2002 8:48:11 PM PST by jf55510
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To: jf55510
I heard on the news that the U.S. is going to send a bunch of "anti-terrorist" attorneys to Afghanistan now!

Talk about weapons of mass destruction - I could almost begin to pity the Taliban.

38 posted on 03/11/2002 6:32:28 AM PST by Redbob
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To: Redbob
LOL, & ping and bump, whatever those are in freeper language.. good one
39 posted on 03/11/2002 7:23:17 AM PST by Beata
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To: jf55510
I've been in all kinds of law offices, including Bill McBride's as a temporary. My last position was the height of my career as a paralegal working in defense in Federal Court in Tampa FL. Our case came down to exhibit number 999 out of 1000 pages. We won. I learned that attention to detail, no matter how trivial is more important than a smoking gun and that litigation is no place for jumping to conclusions.

I used to defend the legal profession but the more I knew the less I liked about the attorneys I was meeting. I have been on all sides of this issue, preferring defense to plaintiff but plaintiffs have rights too and they lose out all the time. The problem with personal injury attorneys is that signing people up is more important than working on their cases. I did all the work which was fine but at some point, the pleadings need to be signed by the attorney. He let all the finished pleadings back up and to cover him, I'd end up calling the Judge and cancelling all kinds of hearings. Now THAT was embarrassing. Just remember that if your staff takes the time to prepare documents and there's a deadline approaching, the staff's urgency should not be ignored. They are trying to keep you out of deep doo doo.

What is lacking so many times in the legal profession is mutual respect. Many attorneys do not respect their employees or the clients. They don't respect opposing counsel or the opposing party. I've heard it all, I've seen it all and I can honestly say there are only two attorneys in the entire State of Florida plus the attorneys who worked for Dubya in 2000 whom I would ever recommend. The rest deserve all the lawyer jokes that are out there. If you would like to send me a private reply,I will tell you which two attorneys in Florida stand shoulders above the rest. McBride is not one of them and neither is Janet Reno. lol

Good luck to you. If you can make one of your goals to be a different, better kind of attorney, those jokes will be easier to hear because you'll know they don't apply to you. Floriduh Voter

40 posted on 03/11/2002 10:03:44 AM PST by floriduh voter
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