[discostu]

But I am willing to bet that people would not comment on your lack of ambition toward motherhood it you were not in their faces about your intentions.

Better pull that money off the table Red because, if her life is anything like mine, you'll lose it. It always starts with THE QUESTION(tm). You go to a party or family gathering, or run into somebody you haven't seen in a while this is what happens pretty much everytime: if it's somebody you don't see often they look at your finger to see if you're still married those connected to your life skip that step, then they ask if you've had kids yet, you say no, they ask when you're planning on kids, you say never. Then the lecture starts. It's always somebody else that brings it up and it's always somebody else that turns it into an issue. If people would just accept the answer and talk about something else they'd never have to hear about why we don't want kids.

[francisandbeans]

I know what you are saying. The same thing could be said of marriage. I often wonder about those who encouraged me to get married were just wanting me to share in thier misery.

[cake_crumb]

"If people would just accept the answer and talk about something else they'd never have to hear about why we don't want kids"

I don't know...it seems safer for kids in general if parents KNOW who all publicly professes "hate" for all children.

I used to hate bad behavior in kids, and confused that with a strong dislike for kids. When I got older and HAD kids, I discovered I LOVE kids...bit I STILL hate bad behavior.

[alpowolf]

Then the lecture starts. It's always somebody else that brings it up and it's always somebody else that turns it into an issue. If people would just accept the answer and talk about something else they'd never have to hear about why we don't want kids.

That's the core of it, right there: there's never a shortage of know-it-all busybodies, is there? I get similar flak because I'm a bachelor. It is assumed that I am "selfish"; never mind that the reason I'm a bachelor is because the women I've asked have turned me down. Conservatives persist in viewing me as some kind of "swinger". Don't I wish!

The bottom line is that too many people can't mind their own damn business. Too many people don't believe in freedom or in the idea that individuals should choose their own lives.

[Bigg Red]

Maybe you need to find more polite company. A decision to marry or to bear children is a personal one for a man and a woman, and people who care about you should not be giving you unsolicited advice about it, unless you are harming someone, e.g., having children outside of marriage. Since you can't swap out your relatives, you need to defend yourself when you are with them. My answer would be along the lines of "If you'll forgive me for not answering that question, I'll forgive you for asking it" or "Oh, my heavens, such an impolite question!" followed by an indulgent chuckle.