The world's funniest joke? Scientists investigating laughter pick the world's funniest joke.

Sydney Morning Herald ^ | Thursday, December 20, 2001 | Various

[GuillermoX]

I don't get this one: A man said: "I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library." I thought: "That's a turn-up for the books."

[KSCITYBOY]

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[KSCITYBOY]

I wish I had time to tell the "monkey joke"

[shaggy eel]

,,, what do you throw a drowning lawyer?

His wife and kids.

[KSCITYBOY]

Lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

[The Bard]

Sorry, the funnisest joke ever is Tadaahh.........
Q:Why do dogs lick their testicles?
A: Because they can!
A very Aussie-type joke.
Mel

Sorry, I heard that the answer was "to get the taste of Dogfood outof their mouth....."

[WIMom]

A Marketing Manager, an Accountant and an Engineer are on death row. The big day comes, the town is gathered around the gallows for the event.

The three are led up to the guillotine. The executioner askes which one would like to go first. The Marketing Manager volunteers to go first. He gets in position, the executioner pulls the lever and the blade falls. Suddenly without any warning the blade stops inches from his neck. The executioner says to the Marketing Manager, since the blade stopped, we can not execute you again, you are free to go, a free man.

The executioner asks which one of the remaining two would like to go next. The Accountant, quickly wanting to get it over, says he would. He gets in position, the executioner pulls the lever and the blade falls. Suddenly without any warning the blade stops inches from his neck. Amazed that this could happen twice in a row, the executioner says to the Accountant, since the blade stopped, we can not execute you again, you are free to go, a free man.

The executioner looks at the Engineer and asks him if he is ready. The Engineer says, "you know, I've been watching the guillotine malfunction and have a solution as to how it can be fixed."

[WIMom]

Why did the elephant paint her toenails red?

To hide in a strawberry patch.

Did you ever see an elephant in a strawberry patch?

See? It works.

[Doctor Stochastic]

A Doctor, a Lawyer, an Architect, and a Communist were sitting together at a bar and got into a discussion of which profession was oldest (of theirs, of course.)

Lawyer: Early man must have had laws to keep from killing themselves off.
Doctor: There must have been a doctor present for the birth of Eve's children.
Architect: God must have been an architect to bring such Order out of the Chaos.
Communist: And who do you think created the Chaos?

[Doctor Stochastic]

During WWII, a German Major, a Hungarian Corporal, a Beautiful Young Woman, and an Unattractive Old Crone were riding in the same train compartment. The train goes into a tunnel. There is the sound of a kiss, followed by a slap. On exit from the tunnel, it is seen that the German Major has a black eye.

The German Major thinks: Clever guy. He steals a kiss, and I get slapped.
Old Crone: What a fine Young Lady to resist the Major.
Young Woman: I wonder why the Major tried to kiss the Old Crone instead of me.
Hungarian Corporal: I'm pretty clever. I kiss the back of my hand; slap a German Officer, and I get away with it.

[nomad]

A guy dies and goes to hell, on arrival he is greeted by a demon and shown a hall with an infinite number of doors. He is told he must enter thru one and there he will spend eternity.

The first discloses a room full of people being burned by fire and brimstone, horrified, he declines.

The second reveals a room filled with demons and serpents stabbing and biting their victims, even more horrified, he again declines.

The third is dimly lighted and filled with a bunch of people standing up to their waists in liquid sh*t and smoking cigarets,

"At least this isn`t too bad," he thinks," and I do smoke".

So he decides to enter this room. No sooner does he lite up a smoke when a demon enters and says:

"ALL RIGHT! SMOKING BREAKS OVER, BACK ON YOUR F#C#ING HEADS!

[shaggy eel]

,,, love it! Couldn't imagine saying "don't make waves" as I smoked a cigar though - yuk!

FReegards!

[droid]

Ba-da-bump.

[pariah]

Here's a true story. Once I was making a delivery to an old folks home. While inside, a very frail elderly woman walked up to me and asked me, in the sweetest voice: "Do you know why the ocean roars?" "No, why does it roar?" I replied, biting at the question. She whispered "You'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom!"

[Diago]

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