Posted on 12/19/2001 4:38:10 PM PST by aculeus
His wife and kids.
Sorry, I heard that the answer was "to get the taste of Dogfood outof their mouth....."
The three are led up to the guillotine. The executioner askes which one would like to go first. The Marketing Manager volunteers to go first. He gets in position, the executioner pulls the lever and the blade falls. Suddenly without any warning the blade stops inches from his neck. The executioner says to the Marketing Manager, since the blade stopped, we can not execute you again, you are free to go, a free man.
The executioner asks which one of the remaining two would like to go next. The Accountant, quickly wanting to get it over, says he would. He gets in position, the executioner pulls the lever and the blade falls. Suddenly without any warning the blade stops inches from his neck. Amazed that this could happen twice in a row, the executioner says to the Accountant, since the blade stopped, we can not execute you again, you are free to go, a free man.
The executioner looks at the Engineer and asks him if he is ready. The Engineer says, "you know, I've been watching the guillotine malfunction and have a solution as to how it can be fixed."
To hide in a strawberry patch.
Did you ever see an elephant in a strawberry patch?
See? It works.
Lawyer: Early man must have had laws to keep from killing themselves off.
Doctor: There must have been a doctor present for the birth of Eve's children.
Architect: God must have been an architect to bring such Order out of the Chaos.
Communist: And who do you think created the Chaos?
The German Major thinks: Clever guy. He steals a kiss, and I get slapped.
Old Crone: What a fine Young Lady to resist the Major.
Young Woman: I wonder why the Major tried to kiss the Old Crone instead of me.
Hungarian Corporal: I'm pretty clever. I kiss the back of my hand; slap a German Officer, and I get away with it.
The first discloses a room full of people being burned by fire and brimstone, horrified, he declines.
The second reveals a room filled with demons and serpents stabbing and biting their victims, even more horrified, he again declines.
The third is dimly lighted and filled with a bunch of people standing up to their waists in liquid sh*t and smoking cigarets,
"At least this isn`t too bad," he thinks," and I do smoke".
So he decides to enter this room. No sooner does he lite up a smoke when a demon enters and says:
"ALL RIGHT! SMOKING BREAKS OVER, BACK ON YOUR F#C#ING HEADS!
FReegards!
bump
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