The world's funniest joke? Scientists investigating laughter pick the world's funniest joke.

Sydney Morning Herald ^ | Thursday, December 20, 2001 | Various

[aculeus]

Funny?

[xm177e2]

"Males use humour to appear superior to others, whilst women are more linguistically skilled and prefer word-puns."

"women are more linguistically skilled"--maybe on average, but on average, men are more mathematically skilled. It's hard to imagine the SMH, or any other major newspaper, publishing that fact!

Anyway, I'm "linguistically skilled," I get most of the female jokes--they're just not funny.

What so damn funny about words? I don't know. Go ask that nihilist jerk George Carlin...

[NatureGirl]

What do you call a woman who can balance four pints of beer on her head? - Beatrix.

I don't get it.

[Eugene Tackleberry]

Beatrix = Beer Tricks ? I don't get the turn-up library one...

[Always Right]

The runner-up was much funnier than the winner.

[SolitaryMan]

Yea, except for those last 3 jokes.......

[AUsome Joy]

Some of these jokes are as old as the hills.

[nevergore]

Good Jokes Bump.....loved the Rotwieller one....

NeverGore :^)

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

That's 'cause you're a woman ;)

[AUsome Joy]

I don't get the library one either. But Beatrix is the name of the woman who can hold 4 beers on her head.

[AUsome Joy]

Oops, I just got the Beer tricks. LOL

[FormerLib]

You aren't the only one.

[2Trievers]

"The only good thing to come out of religion was the music." George Carlin

George a nihilist? Is that why he's so funny? &;-)

[imperator2]

Germany: Why is television called a medium? It is neither rare nor well done. This proves that this Thread is bogus. This joke would absolutly NOT be funny in Germany, becasue the pun is entirely American. You could find a million funnier jokes.

[PJ-Comix]

How funny the joke is often depends on the joke teller. My late great Uncle Marty was easily the best joke teller of all time. I'm not kidding. He was a bartender at an airport bar and travellers often made sure to stop at that airport just to go to the bar to hear Uncle Marty tell jokes. The jokes themselves were mostly written by Uncle Marty but his genius was in the delivery. Added to his verbal repertoire, Uncle Marty had at least 57 different obscene hand gestures.

BTW, Uncle Marty was also known as the bartender's bartender. With his slicked down hair, he looked every inch the bartender. So much so that he was often featured in bartender magazines.

Once Uncle Marty was driving us in the country. He was giving me a lecture on how to think up funny stories. He would say, "See that fence? See that cow? See that ditch? Right now make up a funny story about all three!" Of course, I couldn't but when I challenged him, Uncle Marty could always come up with a funny story. Soon afterwards, while we were passing a car on a two lane country road, we were run off the road by an oncoming car. Our car almost flipped over. Everybody was in a state of panic and we hardly stopped when Uncle Marty yelled at me, "QUICK! Make up a funny story about almost getting killed!"

[xm177e2]

He's pretty funny sometimes, but I read one of his books cover-to-cover in a short period of time, and the nihilism was too much for me, I was feeling sick by the end. Maybe I should have just taken it in smaller doses at a time.

[Waco]

Say hamburger! Say hamburger! (Very old)

[jlogajan]

women are more linguistically skilled and prefer word-puns.

Dun! Everyone knows women love cunning linquists.

[C210N]

When I read the post title, it reminded me of the Monty Python skit of the "World's Funniest Joke", which I recently saw on the web... its so funny, that you die laughing.

It was discovered in 1943 by the British, whose author immediately died. His mom, finding him with what she thought was a suicide note, giggles, laughs, and dies.

After careful construction, the army puts together a German version of the joke which the British cannot understand, but the Germans can... they use it in the Ardennes, and the rest is History. Its the story of how Britain won WWII.

In the skit, you never hear the english version of the joke, but you do hear the German version. I'm curious, if anybody knows, what the translation of the German is... (and if you know and post it, warn readers who may die laughing!)

[steve in DC]

There are two statues in a park. One of a naked man, one of a naked women.

One day an angel comes down, and explaining that the Lord has seen them to have been exemplary statues, He is granting them one hour of life.

With that the statues come alive and the angel reminds them that they have one hour to do anything they wish. The two statues immediately join hands, smile and run off into the bushes.

There is considerable rustling in the bushes and giggling, and the poor little angel is blushing, desparately trying not to imagine what is going on between the statues.

Thirty minutes later the statues emerge, flushed and smiling at each other. The angel them reminds them that they have an additional half hour of life. The male statue looks at the female statue and says "Do you want to do it again?"

The female replies, "OK, but this time you hold the pigeon and I'll crap on his head."