Posted on 12/09/2001 5:36:43 PM PST by Rash32
Dear Cousin {Name}, Thank you so much for your recent letter. What a refreshing change it was from the usual, boring, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" letters I'm used to getting from family. Who needs to hear about Christmas this time of year, anyway? It's always more interesting to read what passes for political thought on the Left these days.
Judging from your overall tone of self-satisfaction and smugness, you are obviously quite pleased with yourself, and doggone it why shouldn't you be? You have managed to swallow and then regurgitate every single cliche, prejudice and bit of propaganda put forth by the Left. Why, I'll bet you've even convinced yourself that these are your own ideas, and that they demonstrate how independent you are! Wow! It must be so difficult to be forced to share the earth with people who are less enlightened than you. Someday you must tell me how you manage to do it.
In the meantime, dear Cousin, I guess I'll have to muddle through as best I can. It's not easy for me, I'll admit. I'm not blessed with your gift of unquestioning belief in everything the Left preaches. No, sadly I have been saddled with this tendency to think for myself, and this has led me rather far away from what the Left preaches. Ah well, perhaps someday you will share with me your secret of getting through life without actually thinking. Until then, I guess I'll just have to keep using my head for something other than a hat rack.
Be well, Cousin.
Yours truly, etc.
That is to say on the wall itself...not hung on the wall...
Did your cousin act upon his desire to have the money go to prescription drug benefits? In other words, did he donate his $600 to charity for that expressed purpose? I'll bet he didn't.
I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to recieve your little holiday missive. I shared it with others in our family. I'm sure that they remember you despite what they say. I'm know that they enjoyed hearing from you because they could not stop laughing for hours.
I'm so happy to hear that Sean and Matthew are doing so well in school. Just think, little Matthew is in kindergarten. It is only the 23rd trimester if you catch my drift. . . It's never too late. The NEA assures us that there is a 1 in 100 chance that they will learn something, anything, before they graduate from High School. I can assure you that there is a 100% chance that they (and Lisa) will be smarter than their parents. Aren't we fortunate.
I'm very happy that Marsha is enjoying her new job. It sounds very exiting. Just think, after another time to two she may pass her GED and then she can really move up in the world. I hear that there is a former President who is looking for interns. I can attest that she is qualified just from meeting her once at that New Year's party a few years ago. Now that she is working at home I would recommend that you be careful where you let your Norwood dangle. Those hostile environment suits can be nasty.
I'm so glad that you let us know that you intend to breed Lisa next year. I hope that you don't intend to do all of the work yourself. Planned Parenthood for Puppies stresses the need for a good sire. Just look at Matthew and Sean and you will see what they mean.
Have you decorated your environmentally friendly Winter Festival tree yet? Since you are in Colorado I would suggest that you look up the Boulder Public Library. I hear that they have some interesting decorations for sale. Some that were left over from an art exhibit or something. We must all do our part to recycle.
You are certainly right about the religious right. Matthew and Sean's futures are severely compromised now that they are not eligible for the Boy Scouts. Maybe they can find a home in the Brownies. They need all the tolerance and diversity that they can get.
I enjoyed the story about your trip. I find it encouraging that you left home for this one. The only thing that concerns me is that you took Sean and Matthew along. Isn't Montana awfully close to Wyoming.
You are indeed fortunate that your talents are still in demand in this economy. As long as there are short pecker Democrats who can't hit a urinal there will be a need for your special skills.
As much as I enjoy your annual updates I have to inform you that I will be unavailable next year. I will be on special assignment for the Department of Enlightenment. We have heard that there are Santa Clauses in every mall in America. I will be looking for some people to be offended so we can shut down this onerous threat to our diversity. I'm sure you will understand. Don't try to contact me, you may blow my cover. Just wait by the telephone. I'll contact you when I need to hear your opinions.
Oh, and I hope Santa's reindeer leave you a little something in your stocking. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I have some relatives like this... They're all hicks with degrees in art and sociology and bullsh!t like that... I see 'em about once every ten years to remind myself but for the grace of God...
America Love It...Or Leave It
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