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To: Rash32
Dear Norman,

I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to recieve your little holiday missive. I shared it with others in our family. I'm sure that they remember you despite what they say. I'm know that they enjoyed hearing from you because they could not stop laughing for hours.

I'm so happy to hear that Sean and Matthew are doing so well in school. Just think, little Matthew is in kindergarten. It is only the 23rd trimester if you catch my drift. . . It's never too late. The NEA assures us that there is a 1 in 100 chance that they will learn something, anything, before they graduate from High School. I can assure you that there is a 100% chance that they (and Lisa) will be smarter than their parents. Aren't we fortunate.

I'm very happy that Marsha is enjoying her new job. It sounds very exiting. Just think, after another time to two she may pass her GED and then she can really move up in the world. I hear that there is a former President who is looking for interns. I can attest that she is qualified just from meeting her once at that New Year's party a few years ago. Now that she is working at home I would recommend that you be careful where you let your Norwood dangle. Those hostile environment suits can be nasty.

I'm so glad that you let us know that you intend to breed Lisa next year. I hope that you don't intend to do all of the work yourself. Planned Parenthood for Puppies stresses the need for a good sire. Just look at Matthew and Sean and you will see what they mean.

Have you decorated your environmentally friendly Winter Festival tree yet? Since you are in Colorado I would suggest that you look up the Boulder Public Library. I hear that they have some interesting decorations for sale. Some that were left over from an art exhibit or something. We must all do our part to recycle.

You are certainly right about the religious right. Matthew and Sean's futures are severely compromised now that they are not eligible for the Boy Scouts. Maybe they can find a home in the Brownies. They need all the tolerance and diversity that they can get.

I enjoyed the story about your trip. I find it encouraging that you left home for this one. The only thing that concerns me is that you took Sean and Matthew along. Isn't Montana awfully close to Wyoming.

You are indeed fortunate that your talents are still in demand in this economy. As long as there are short pecker Democrats who can't hit a urinal there will be a need for your special skills.

As much as I enjoy your annual updates I have to inform you that I will be unavailable next year. I will be on special assignment for the Department of Enlightenment. We have heard that there are Santa Clauses in every mall in America. I will be looking for some people to be offended so we can shut down this onerous threat to our diversity. I'm sure you will understand. Don't try to contact me, you may blow my cover. Just wait by the telephone. I'll contact you when I need to hear your opinions.

Oh, and I hope Santa's reindeer leave you a little something in your stocking. Merry Christmas.

111 posted on 12/10/2001 3:03:46 AM PST by MARTIAL MONK
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To: MARTIAL MONK
Outstanding!!
114 posted on 12/10/2001 1:20:10 PM PST by BraveMan
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To: MARTIAL MONK
ROFLOL!!!!!
135 posted on 12/12/2001 1:43:45 PM PST by soccermom
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