List of "Tired" Christmas Music (That Should Be Retired)

Self (Vanity)

[SamAdams76]

The Christmas season is upon us once again and the sounds of holiday music can be heard in shopping malls, restaurants, and other public places. Radio stations are already slipping the occasional Christmas song into their playlists and by mid-December, it will be wall-to-wall Christmas music.

Now that is not a bad thing. I like Christmas music. I collect Christmas music. Later in the Christmas season, I will post a vanity on my favorite Christmas music and that post promises to be much longer than this one.

But why is it that so many tired and really annoying Christmas songs seem to get the most airplay? Is it just me or does it seem like the radio stations play the same few Christmas songs 90% of the time?

On this thread, I will list some of my least favorite or more accurately, the most tired Christmas songs of alltime and will seek your input. I put a lot of thought into putting this list together. You are welcome to disagree with me and/or list a few really tired Christmas songs of your own.

Surely there are worse Christmas songs out there than the ones I am about to list. But I kept my list to songs that are familiar and that get a lot of airplay. The emphasis here on on "tired" rather than "bad." Also, to make my list, the song must have been out for at least five years. These songs have established some longevity of being really tired. I am listing the ones that have been "in our face" year after year. Without so much great material out there (I'll have a separate post on that closer to Christmas), there is no excuse for radio stations not to pursue fresher material.

So in no particular order, here goes...the most "tired" Christmas songs of alltime.

• Elmo & Patsy - Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Now I'm not normally a violent person. But if somebody was to shoot the person who wrote this song, it would be okay by me. This has got to be absolutely the most annoying Christmas Song I have ever heard. It stopped being funny sometime around 1984. Yet year after year, radio stations seem to play it at least once every hour. Many a Christmas compilation album has been ruined for me by the inclusion of this tired ditty.
  

• Adam Sandler - The Chanukah Song. Okay, maybe it was funny the first 232 times I heard it. But this song has really run its course and it should be retired. And to add insult to injury, Sandler released a "sequel" version of this song a few years ago but it already seems like 20 years ago. It's just not "funakah" to hear this anymore.
  

• The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping. Many, many years ago, back when Ronald Reagan used to refer to Russia as the "Evil Empire," it was cool to play this record at Christmas. It was cutting edge and having this song in your Christmas collection separated you from the Perry Como and Bing Crosby crowd. Well it's not cutting edge, cool or "New Wave" anymore. It's as mainstream as Garth Brooks and as dull as Peter Jennings. Give this record a rest, please.
  

• Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad. Must be a "PC" thing because the song itself is lame. Okay, okay, so it's politically correct to be "diverse" and know "Merry Christmas" in 17 different languages. So Buon Natale to you then, I am putting a contract out on this record. I am going to have it inserted into a block of wet cement and send it to the bottom of Boston Harbor. At least the Italians know what to do when something becomes tired and no longer "useful." Time for some new Christmas material from Mexico, and fast.
  

• Cheech & Chong - Santa And His Old Lady. Cheech: "Like I PLAYED with that dude, man." Chong: "Whoa, like Santa Claus ain't no musician, man!" Cheech: "I'm hip, man, like that dude couldn't play for beans, man!" Well I'm hip to Cheech & Chong. They can't play for beans and they aren't funny anymore to boot. Were these guys EVER funny? Must have been a 70s thing.
  

• Band-Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas? Not only was this song a blatant rip-off of "We Are The World" (or maybe it was vice versa) but the question the song poses is ridiculous. Of course they don't know it's Christmas, and they probably couldn't give a shit either. Until this year, did we ever know it was Ramadan over there? And that "Feed The World" chorus, well, here it is 15 years later and the people are still starving over there. Guess it makes liberals feel good to sing the song though. Like the next one on my list...
  

• John & Yoko - Happy Xmas (War Is Over). Maybe it's the spelling of Christmas that irks me most about this record. Didn't this song start the whole loathsome "Xmas" thing? Anyway, you can be sure that this song will get even heavier airplay this Christmas season in light of the current war situation. But I'm so tired of this song already!
  

• Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Okay, I like Bruce Springsteen. But I still think he could have picked a better Christmas song to cover. Or even have done an original. Anyway, I was already tired of this song by 1979.

I could think of a few more but I'm going to let my fellow Freepers get a crack at adding to the list of "tired" Christmas music.

[VermiciousKnid]

No, no, no...not The Wall! Dark Side of the Moon! (Perhaps that's why it never made any sense) LOL

Regards,

[katnip]

Do you mean Kathy Mattea?

Yes, I think you are right. The song is beautiful by no matter who sings it. I got it from Napster last year. Wasn't sure of the spelling. Thanks so much.

[Interesting Times]

And supposedly, if you start "The Wizard of Oz" and Pink Floyd's "The Wall" at the same time, "The Wall" still makes no sense.

Odd. You must be playing it forward.

[retrokitten]

Odd. You must be playing it forward.

Oooh, that explains it! LOL

[gg188]

I collect Christmas music, too, Sam!

And your list is SPOT-ON!! Good going!

ps----on Kevin & Bean's KROQ Christmas cd of '99 (they are in L.A.---I am down here in the South, btw) one of the song parodies is that of Springsteen's "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town," and it's hilarious.

The "Boss" begins as the sleighbells jingle and the piano plays, "Hey, band, do you know what time of year it is? Yeah, it's Christmas time." And it is exactly like the famous live recording from the early 80's (my son and I saw him in concert in 85 at the height of his and of the song's popularity, but I digress...)

So the Boss goes on about how he was walking down the Boardwalk in Joizey, and the wind was whipping yadayada, and it was so cold and he didn't have a coat, and here he saw coming down the boardwalk a homeless guy with an old coat and trousers that were about to fall down. So Bruce thought, gee at least *I have a belt.

So as the two reach each other, the Boss seems to take pity on the homeless man's falling pants, and says, "So I saw his pants, and I had a belt, so I took my belt off---" and of course you expect him to say he gave the belt to the homeless guy---but instead he says,"and I wrapped the belt around my hand, beat the sh*t out of the homeless guy and got his coat..."...It goes on, but that was the funniest part.

[NovemberCharlie]

If you don't like Feliz Navidad, there's an Elmo and Patsy song called "Dear Senor Santa Claus." It's campy, true, but if it were played on any radio station today the DJ's would probably get lynched by La Raza or LULAC, so it's not a total loss.

[SeeYaBubba]

Obviously everyone has dropped the original subject, but I can't help myself. Another GREAT Christmas CD that I forgot about:

Donna Summer (Yes, THAT Donna Summer the Disco Diva) and Christmas Spirit. Here's a bit of the title song if you want to give it a listen. The album is a great mix of traditional and original music. She is reunited with Michael O'Martian who produced "She Works Hard For the Money". This one is a family favorite. Everyone I have ever convinced to buy it has later thanked me. :)

---

And since the subject was really bad Christmas music I respectfully submit...Frosty the Snowman.

[mountainfolk]

12 days of Christmas is on a par with fruitcake. Somehow each got to be considered a christmas classic. Could do without them both forever.

[steve-b]

I have to admit I have a soft spot for the Jingle Cats -- I remember my late amber tabby rushing around sniffing the air when I played it. (You could just see the "I can hear them, why don't I smell them?" wheels turning in his head.)

[steve-b]

The fact that I'm going to be bombarded, every time I go to a mall, with "Christmas" music keeps me away.

I keep some antidotes: Tom Lehrer's "Christmas Song" and Weird Al Yankovic's "Christmas at Ground Zero" usually work, but particularly severe cases call for a shot of "The Night Santa Went Crazy".

[Tribune7]

It's the Madonna version I'm thinking of. Maybe it's just her.

[SAMWolf]

"Barking Dogs Jingle Bells"

"Mary's Boy Child"

[Kaslin]

You got that right. Indeed Yuck

[SamAdams76]

"So This Is Christmas" sounds like the beginning to "Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John & Yoko Lennon.

[SamAdams76]

Who sings that song "Santa Baby".....she sounds like Marilyn Monroe...it's actually cute....she wants diamond rings and cars???????

That would be Eartha Kitt, one of the "Batwomen" I believe. That song has to be 40 years old by now. Madonna did a more recent version that appeared on the original "A Very Special Christmas" compilation charity album from 1987 that sounds almost identical. She (Eartha) had a follow-up Christmas song called "This Year's Santa Baby" which is pretty lame.

[Skooz]

That's MR. Bob and Doug McKenzie to you! And that song is STILL funny!

[SamAdams76]

Oh crap! I hate Lennon/Ono and if I can't find a version by someone else, I just won't buy it! Surely someone else has recorded it. It's a great song!

There are many versions of "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" but the better ones are hard to find. My favorite version is by the Harbor Kids and there is even a rarer version that I have on a tape from 1979 that is outstanding. The DJ never credited the song (bastard!) and I've been trying to figure out who did it ever since. It's sung by a woman, slowed down, and has some really haunting and eerie sound effects. I must have downloaded fifty different versions of "Happy Xmas" last year off Napster looking for that particular version.

[Skooz]

"Christmas in Dixie" Alabama

Agreed. That causes me an almost physical pain.

[Skooz]

The greatest Christmas music is Mannheim Steamroller

Yep. My wife bought me the first one as a gift a couple of years before Rush started playing it as bumper music. It never gets old.

BTW, The coolest Christmas CD ever is "Six String Santa" by the incomparable Joe Pass.

[SamAdams76]

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth."

Both are traditionally done by little boys with annoying voices, or by women pretending to be little boys with annoying voices. Ugh.

Excellent choices (for annoying songs). You must be thinking of the Jimmy Boyd version for "I Saw Mommy Kissing" and the old Spike Jones version of "My Two Front Teeth." Both annoying as hell but my kids love them. I do have one version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" that I don't mind hearing, and that is by the Jackson Five (from 1970). That little Michael sure knew how to sing. Too bad he grew up to be such a freak.