Answer Helen Thomas's Question

News | 11/26/01 | Me

[gortklattu]

At a press briefing, the wizard of the Washington press corps, Helen Thomas, noted that Spain was holding some suspected terrorists in jail, then asked Ari Fleischer if President Bush was going to invade Spain!

It's a stupid question, to say the least.

Fleischer was cordial in his reply. But, what if she had asked Rummie, or a Freeper?

How would you have answered? What would Rummie have said?

[gortklattu]

"Well, Helen. They lost their armada when it was en route to Great Britian. Perhaps you should keep up on the news."

[Texaggie79]

Invade? No We'll just bomb the HELL out of 'em!!!!

[RaceBannon]

Helen, If we believe Spain is harboring terrorists and allowing them to operate, hell yes!

[eastforker]

From a FReeper,"you are either with us or against us",we must forge on.

[Lurker]

"No Helen we aren't going to actually invade them. What we are going to do is deny their entire country access to the US banking system, slap 8,000 percent tarrifs on their goods, impound the assets of all Spanish nationals living in the US until the Spanish government hands these mutts over to us with no questions asked. Does that answer your questions sweety?"

L

[Congressman Billybob]

We have no current plans to invade Spain. Please leave us your phone number at the home, so you will be the first to know if we change our minds. We hadn't even thought of it until you raised the question. Thank you for your contribution to American strategic military insight, you hopeless, bigoted, miserable, chrone. (Sorry about that, Helen, dear. It just slipped out.)

Congressman Billybob

[whadizit]

Now, Helen, don't you think it's time for your nap?

[eastforker]

To expand on my last reply,we cannot ask approval of our alies,WE need to tell them what we are going to do and urge them to come along or face the music.

[tgiles]

"Why do you ask, Helen? Are you looking at retirement property there?"

[Rokke]

Helen, you ignorant slut.........
no, on second thought, nevermind.

[xm177e2]

"Helen, we aren't going to invade Spain, they're a modern country, with a modern military. It would result in tens of thousands of US casualties, at minimum, and leave us in a hopeless quagmire. Why do you think we invented nuclear weapons? Do you think we keep them around just for show?"

[Cleburne]

Heck no. Everyone knows Juan Carlos is the antichrist of the week and future dictator of the world, so we'ld never risk invading. I'm going to be his Defense Noble, so I sure don't want to tick him off. My, my, Helen, you certainly don't keep up with the news. Messing with your makeup and beautification too much I suppose.

[dead]

"Change your diaper Helen, your brain's wet."

[gortklattu]

Why, yes, Helen. Spain is our first stop in our upcoming plans on invading Europe.

You see, Germany has jailed terrorists, so, by your accounting, we have to invade them. I think France has terrorists in jail too. Does Italy have terrorists in jail? If they haven't jailed terrorists that means that they aren't with us, so we have to invade them too.

Helen, you're just too smart for us.

[tarpon_bill]

Has she lost her mind??? Yes

There, that ought to answer her question nicely.

[strela]

"Well, Helen. They lost their armada when it was en route to Great Britian. Perhaps you should keep up on the news."

A quick look at Helen confirms that she was probably at the dockyard waving goodbye as they set sail.

[Calvin Locke]

1.) Helen, you started the cocktail hour without us!

2.) Didn't you hear? We already invaded Grenada once. Why don't you go check your atlas and get back to us on it...

[Arkinsaw]

WH: No Helen, we want to do everything possible to keep Spaniards from being hurt. To further that goal we recommend that the Spanish maintain at least a 500 yard interval between themselves and the terrorists and that they should hold the terrorists only in buildings of no historical or sentimental value to avoid collateral damage.

[gortklattu]

"You started the cocktail hour without us!"

My favorite!