Vanity: Worst Baby Names

11/26/01

[Phantom Lord]

Alright, this is a total vanity. I didn't post it under "Breaking News" so relax.

My mother and aunts have been pestering my wife and I about when we are going to have children. Lately, we have taken to coming up with the worst possible names for babies and telling them we are considering names first. Well, they get real upset with some of them and even get angry with us for even considering them.

My mother in law is coming down for Christmas and it is inevitable that when she, my mother, and my aunts get together they will gang up on us about having kids. So, what I need from my fellow FReepers is a good list of really bad baby names to suggest to them as names we are considering. You help and creativity is greatly appreciated.

Oh, the last name is Terwilliger if that helps at all.

[RooRoobird14]

Don't forget "Skylar" for boys!!!! Every time I see that name, I want to hurl!!!

[SmartBlonde]

Hillary; Mona; Robin; Monique (or Monica); Antoinette; Lena; Doris. Puff Daddy; Shawan; Shaquille; Keyshawn; Stanley; Melvin; Bernard.

[mykdsmom]

Wow this will be an interesting family Christmas this year PL. Actually it sounds like a lot of fun messing with them this way. I wish we would have thought to do this with my husbands family before we had kids. My hubby would have been all over this. LOL.

I have a few suggestions for you and unfortunately they are all family names of my ancestors...YIKES! Fortunately nobody in the family has decided to pass the names along to their own offspring.

I just got an e-mail from my aunt and uncle who had twin grandsons born and they named one Fox. Strange and also one would always think of the X-Files.

These are my old relatives (all dead) names.

Guys:
Asa, Virgil, Cecil, Edwill, LeRoy, Rolf

Girls:
Letha, Flossie, Bernice, Ardis, Gladys

Let us know how the family fun turns out.

MKM

[Argh]

Two different couples of pretentious entertainment types used these two names, uncapitalized as shown, in the late 60's or early 70's (sorry I don't remember who did this: was Grace Slick involved?):

god

america

You're welcome.

[Andyman]

Judas

Jezebell

[American_Patriot_For_Democracy]

The worst name for a boy: Egbert;

The worst name for a girl: Helga.

[MotleyGirl70]

Damien

[DSHambone]

Name a baby boy Forrest - then have the pleasure of yelling "Run, Forrest, Run!" during his T-ball games.

For a girl - Lucrecia - enough said.

[AmishDude]

I don't know why I didn't think of the obvious:

Anakin!

[mywholebodyisaweapon]

If nobody has beaten me to it (wow this is a fast-developing thread): Flannery O'Connor's "Good Country People." Frankly, I prefer "Joy."

[Clintons Are White Trash]

When I was expecting my first, we joked we were going to name it Boris Otis if it was a boy. Those were the worst two names we found in the baby name book. My mom's family of 5 girls included Mary Emma, Agnes, Lillian Matilda, Gertha and Carol....don't know where that Carol came from. May dads family had Lafayette, Hattie, Etherton, Edith, Opal. My how times have changed!

[Psalm 73]

When we were thinking of baby girl names last summer, I mentioned the name Monica (I was thinking of that irish girl on Touched by an Angel), and my wife simply said: Monica - "Blue dress". 'Nuff said!
(We decided on Naomi Elizabeth).

[wimpycat]

Do NOT give a boy the middle name Wayne, or he will end up in prison.

LOL! How about "Earl" instead?

[Loopy]

THAT I can believe, But a person. Let the one claiming to know such a person give a detailed account of how they personally know such a person. Like the Shithead, or Lemonjello or Oranjello, most of these are bogus (I'm convinced) Of course Siran Stacy ex-Alabama running back was named after Saran wrap (or so the announcer said on one of the games I saw many years ago).

[texgal]

They used to hold an annual "contest" at my husband's office for the worst names - this one won several years in a row. From the Houston Residential telephone book . . . .

Alouisios Boudreax Glockenspiel

[The Shadow Knows]

This one was in the local birth records - a boy "Beau Dashous Jones".

[stand watie]

my MOTHER's first/middle names are WILLIAM GLYNN (called W.G. since school days)- it caused all my military superiors to think i was nuts when they asked my mother's name for >22 years.

yep, my grandfather was a HARDHEAD who decided to name his next child after a close friend!

[Skip Ripley]

I knew a man who's brother was named "Notrom" because it was Morton spelled backwards. Apparently his mother was looking at a Morton's salt container during his (home) birth

I once encountered a set of twins named "Greenjello" and "Orangejello" (pronounced Grenjello and Orinjello by the doubtless psychotic parents)

[NewHampshireDuo]

Well, I knew of a kid once named Nimrod Buber (he was 3 years old). I think Nimrod Terwilliger sounds better.

I also knew of a woman called Ima Guasp - might try to name yours (if it's a girl) Ima Terwilliger. A name like that would be a guaranteed conversation opener...

[irgbar-man]

I met a pizza dude named Atilla in Florida!

My names:
Bigvai, Hallohesh (Bible names from Nehemiah's roll of valor)
Travis
Dwayne
Tiffany
Brittany