Vanity: Worst Baby Names

11/26/01

[Phantom Lord]

Alright, this is a total vanity. I didn't post it under "Breaking News" so relax.

My mother and aunts have been pestering my wife and I about when we are going to have children. Lately, we have taken to coming up with the worst possible names for babies and telling them we are considering names first. Well, they get real upset with some of them and even get angry with us for even considering them.

My mother in law is coming down for Christmas and it is inevitable that when she, my mother, and my aunts get together they will gang up on us about having kids. So, what I need from my fellow FReepers is a good list of really bad baby names to suggest to them as names we are considering. You help and creativity is greatly appreciated.

Oh, the last name is Terwilliger if that helps at all.

[stand watie]

i have a customer whose last name is URINE, pronounced "heu-rhine"; he resides on GOLDEN SHOWER DR. no joke.

i get tickled every time he calls and our receptionist tries valiantly to pronounce his name!

[Redcloak]

"Clem Terwilliger". You can stop now; no need to thank me.

[mywholebodyisaweapon]

How about "Xerxes Aloysius Terwilliger"? That gives you a Bible name, if that sort of thing matters in your family. Or, you could reverse the first two names and abbreviate it as "AX Terwilliger."

[TrueBeliever9]

>>>a rap star has a pair of Rotweillers named Bill & Hillary<<<

What an insult to the noble Rottweilers of this world. Mine being one of them!

[SerpentDove]

Donning Flame-Resistant Suit:

(BTW, most names I hate do tend to grow on me, and I'm sure I'll name my kid a name others consider yucky...)

;-)

NAMES THAT ARE welll..you know..., IMHO:

Logan
Madison
Joshua (I know, it's in the Bible. So is Methuselah.)
Cody
Addison
Caleb (see "Joshua")
Morgan
Anything with a "cutesy" twist on spelling; i.e., "Shelli"
Osama
Jackson
Austin

That's all for now

[garyhope]

We already have more than enough of :Tiffany, Britany, Breanna, Kaylin, Kaytlin, Taylor, Jason, Brandy. What I especially hate is people changing the "y" on the end of a name to an "i" as in "Brandi" or "Cindi". But then I'm a crank, I dislike a whole catalog of traits and people.

[Physicist]

Phelectron.

[ravingnutter]

Well, I always thought my grandma's names were pretty horrid...one was Myrtle and the other was Drucilla.

[dighton]

Do NOT give a boy the middle name Wayne, or he will end up in prison.

There are no documented exceptions.

[Phantom Lord]

The best Saint name I have come up with is Polycarp! Oh, they love when I pull that one out when they suggest Saint or Biblical names.

[lavaroise]

How about some disease name. No kidding, there was this woman from inner cities who thought naming her girl Clymedia was cool, after she learned she was infected by this STD.

So here goes: AIDS, Herpes, Clymedia, Plague, Syphilis, Puss, Small Pox, Cancer, EColi, and much much more, I ain't a doctor.

[AmishDude]

Never heard of "Asabee". Do know of "Fannie"s, though. Aunt and niece.

[Martin Tell]

"But they are Jewish and from what she tells me you are not allowed to name someone after someone still alive.

In the story of John the Baptist's birth (see Luke) the relatives assumed that the boy would be named Zachariah, after his dad. After Z wrote "his name is John" on a tablet, he could speak again. Admittedly, this is the New Testament, but I assume Zachariah was a law-abiding Jew.

[wimpycat]

My mom was a nurse and she swears she met a woman who named her daughter Chlamydia.

[Phantom Lord]

My wife likes Reagan for a girl and Nixon for a boy. Boy, will drive the libs nuts!

[RushLake]

Kyle. Not only is it getting over used these days, but I often notice it associated with soccer mom type parents and their spoiled brat offspring. I was in the sewer known as Detroit Metro Airport a couple of months ago early one morning. Little Kyle came shreiking down the aisle getting in the way of people headed in the other direction. Behind him came Mr. & Mrs. Soccer Mom gently warning little Kyle that he would have to take a "time out" (whatever that is) if he didn't stop the screaming and getting the way of other people. A wallop to the posterior would have sufficed.

[Cagey]

[Phantom Lord]

Even better is that our fathers are Richard and Ronald. So the Reagan, Nixon thing works 2 ways!

[arthurus]

My parents were very concerned that our children get "proper" names and were very vocal about it so I told them my first boy would be $5Bill. Every time the subject came up, I repeated that and they quit bothering me about it.

[AmishDude]

Psoriasis?