Ask Watsonfellow (Political Commentary From A Superior Fellow)

Channeling watsonfellow | October 24, 2001 | PJ-Comix (channeling watsonfellow)

[PJ-Comix]

Whilst traipsing about Europe with a copy of "Brideshead Revisited" (by Evelyn Waugh whom I consider to be the greatest writer of the century even though I can't understand this book) in hand, I have deigned to lower myself to deliver political commentary to you barbaric tradionalist conservatives on the Free Republic.

Because I do not wish to sully my hands on a key board as I perform my Thomas J. Watson fellowship studies, I am channeling my answers to your political questions via PJ-Comix. Perhaps this shall become a regular feature on your traditionalist conservative forum. So feel free to ask, with great humilty, your questions of watsonfellow, a recent graduate of Claremont McKenna College in Claremont, California and a proud holder of a double PPEE (Pomposity, Punditry, Excess, & Egocentricity) degree aka a PPEE-PPEE.

And please keep my personal motto in mind: Good form isn't just something, it is EVERYTHING.

[mountaineer]

He used to knell down and mutter Ora pro nobis ad nauseum

Hey Paw, what was it that priest feller useta say all the time, sumpin' about crackers er smallpox er t'other?

I dunno, Box o' Nabisco?

Yep, sumpin' like that, er Pox Nabiscuits. Yep.

[PJ-Comix]

What should I do?

Rephrase your inquiry to one sentence, or preferably, less.

[EggsAckley]

Small world, I used to know the Chants, too! It was either Greg or Ann Chants who went to Claremont with Watson Waughnabe

ROTFLMAO. And now cleaning up the spewed coffee off my keyboard. "Waughnabe" LOL

[Cogadh na Sith]

'Wogs' is good. However, 'Mooks' will do in a pinch.

[PJ-Comix]

Can you suggest another which would convey my philosophy in a more dignified manner?

LeftyDisdainer.

[Cogadh na Sith]

Does that mean the mailed-fist mother of all wedgies I'm gonna deliver to tWatsonfellow should go to you?

Please advise....

[bluecollarman]

"I have never traipsed."

Alas, I have traipsed! The event happened only once when I was in my youth. I was given medicinal treatment utilizing penicillin.

[PJ-Comix]

It isn't a manly sport.

It is when you have your ankles blocked.

[mountaineer]

I say, old man, the photos of our last get-together on the Cape have been returned by the photographic laboratory. Here we go, a remembrance of that wickedly fun weekend (Deidre says she shan't forgive you, you scamp):

[PJ-Comix]

Alas, I have traipsed! The event happened only once when I was in my youth. I was given medicinal treatment utilizing penicillin.

Not only have I traipsed about Europe but in the ruins of Troy and among the sheiks of Araby as well. For my own protection I find it best whilst traipsing to also wear the protective covering of the Trojans or Sheiks.

[LeftyStomper]

Watson Fellow,

You are priceless! But must I trade in my beloved, well-worn work boots, which are made for Stomping?
Perhaps a sound thump with kid gloves about the mandible of the offending lefty, to go with my new name? Would this be more dignified?
Trying to reach your level, LeftyDisdainer

[PJ-Comix]

I say, old man, the photos of our last get-together on the Cape have been returned by the photographic laboratory.

WAAAAAUUUUGHHHH! I see no Waugh in the photo!

[MaeWest]

..what was it that priest feller useta say all the time, sumpin' about crackers er smallpox er t'other?

You mean it really wasn't 'Don ate all your biscuits'?

[Madame Dufarge]

But PJ my dear, what should the gracious Mr. Bush call Mr. Bin Laden and his chums? Banes of civilization?"

"Blackguards" or "bounders" would seem acceptable, but, of course, only in private correspondence.

[mc5cents]

I thought it was Dominic, go get the biscuits.

[mountaineer]

Whaught? No Waugh? That blasted laboratory has given us someone else's photos! But that is Deidre with her pup, Percy ... how very puzzling. I must say I'm nonplussed, old thing.

[Rightwing Conspiratr1]

Traipsing is what the commons do on holiday. Try gallavanting a bit.

[okiedust]

I was not there,
I didn't boo,
Tho I cheered for those who did.
They gave no offense,
Rather, did dispense,
Response in restrained kind,
So watson fellow be of cheer,
Do not be a little twit.
Response in kind to the queen of lies,
Would have required a hearty spit.
regards

[Revolting cat!]

... how very puzzling. I must say I'm nonplussed, old thing.

Where can I learn to talk like that?

[PJ-Comix]

Though you did not Boo,
You make me feel Blue,
So no more from You,
And your Haiku too.