Ask Watsonfellow (Political Commentary From A Superior Fellow)

Channeling watsonfellow | October 24, 2001 | PJ-Comix (channeling watsonfellow)

[PJ-Comix]

Traipsing is what the commons do on holiday. Try gallavanting a bit.

Yes, but NEVER in public. Gallavanting requires an extreme amount of privacy if you know what I mean.

[PJ-Comix]

I must say I'm nonplussed, old thing.

Take two Tylenols and get yourself unplussed.

[PJ-Comix]

"Blackguards" or "bounders" would seem acceptable, but, of course, only in private correspondence.

Preferably "bounders." The former term delves a bit dangerously to the UN-PC side if you know what I mean.

[mountaineer]

I say, PJ, being nonplussed is a far better fate than being disgruntled. Once one is comfortably gruntled, one is reluctant to be relieved of one's gruntlement. Dash it all.

[PJ-Comix]

Once one is comfortably gruntled, one is reluctant to be relieved of one's gruntlement. Dash it all.

Ah, the fond childhood memories that have surfaced! My favorite children's tale was "Hansel and Gruntle" by Evelyn Waugh.

[Sloth]

Dear Watsonfellow: I have a friend who sends weaponized anthrax spores to various public figures through the mail. The problem that I have with this is that instead of applying a stamp to the envelope, she puts her the name and address of her target as the return address, so that the envelope with be 'returned' to them for lack of postage.

To me, this is tantamount to stealing from the USPS, but she just calls it a 'little trick' and says the post office has all kinds of money and can afford to absorb a loss like this. What do you think, and how can I share my concerns with my friend without hurting her feelings?

Thanks,

Torn in Trenton

[PJ-Comix]

Tell her that you disapprove of her spore-adic conduct.

[okiedust]

Come, come my good fellow. Its all in good fun. Surely you know that no country weekend is complete without a somewhat outré person for the rest of us to sneer at in private. Its your turn old chap, and its definitely not good form to acknowledge that this is what is happening to you, or you won't be invited back.

regards

[lds23]

With one hand tied behind my back, I have the ability to order my man servant to break every bone in a tiny dwarf's body

But what if the Clampetts move next door?