Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

26 Things the Movies have taught us
a friend | 9-29-2001

Posted on 09/29/2001 6:47:22 AM PDT by Cagey

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

20. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: "Enter Password Now."

21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: lessons
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100 ... 261-262 next last
To: budwiesest
In a tussle with Steven Segal, someone's elbow will get hyper-extended.

Twisting someone's head will bring a quick end to your dilema.

61 posted on 09/29/2001 8:03:02 AM PDT by budwiesest
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
Hahahaha! I missed that movie. What was the rating on that one? I don't recall seeing that in the Wizard of Oz.

That was Twister. Cute movie—NOT believeable in the least, though.

BTW, I WANT that TRUCK!! They drive through fire, through a house, through falling pieces of farm hardware . . . that's one AWESOME TRUCK! :o)

Oh, I guess I have another one to add—

Trucks cannot be destroyed by fire, by houses, by falling pieces of farm hardware . . .bwaa haa haa

62 posted on 09/29/2001 8:04:31 AM PDT by theophilusscribe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: #3Fan
The easiest way to kill someone is to put a pillow over their face for ten seconds.
63 posted on 09/29/2001 8:04:57 AM PDT by #3Fan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 58 | View Replies]

To: catonsville
7.62 mm FMJ bullets bounce off of helicopters and cars, emitting showes of sparks. GAH! I HATE that! I wonder if the people who write this stuff have ever been in a helicopter. You could punch holes in it with a screwdriver.
64 posted on 09/29/2001 8:05:38 AM PDT by Riley
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
No male super star under 90 ever has a wife who receives mail from AARP.(Even in REAL life)
65 posted on 09/29/2001 8:07:32 AM PDT by COUNTrecount
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: #3Fan
You know the guy's dead when the bubbles come out of his mouth while he's being held under water.
66 posted on 09/29/2001 8:07:58 AM PDT by budwiesest (#3 the intimidator?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: Riley
You can outrun the cops.

A few idiots die from trying this every year.

67 posted on 09/29/2001 8:09:35 AM PDT by LibKill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 64 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
HR/Personnel always go out of their way to pair a white guy with a black co-worker.
68 posted on 09/29/2001 8:09:35 AM PDT by Elvis van Foster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: COUNTrecount
No untrimmed bushes.......or shrubs.
69 posted on 09/29/2001 8:09:53 AM PDT by Lower55
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 65 | View Replies]

To: #3Fan
If you find yourself in a drag race, the best way to try to win is to wreck the other guy instead of trying to outrun him.
70 posted on 09/29/2001 8:10:24 AM PDT by #3Fan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
While driving at 70+ mph, it is very easy to jump out of one vehicle and land on another vehicle, but be careful you don't end up holding on to the hood ornament. If you do, you will have to grab for the bumper and hold on to the exhast system while going under the car until you can grab the back bumper, get dragged a bit, and pull yourself up to get back in the vehicle and get the bad guy!
71 posted on 09/29/2001 8:10:25 AM PDT by GWfan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
Also, women, universally, have big lips.
72 posted on 09/29/2001 8:11:23 AM PDT by Elvis van Foster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: budwiesest
The clerk behind the counter at the convenience store is always of Middle eastern extraction.

(Art imitating life?)

73 posted on 09/29/2001 8:12:42 AM PDT by budwiesest
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
no 22. and the timer will always, always show 2 min. left to disarm or blow up, i just once would like to see the timer with more that 2 min left. and if they show you a closeup of a wheel, any wheel, that wheel will fall off or break up.
74 posted on 09/29/2001 8:13:16 AM PDT by liliana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: budwiesest
Yes, Earnhardt. I was a big fan since '87 when I first started watching NASCAR on the satellite dish. It was the only way to get it up north here for a few years. :^)
75 posted on 09/29/2001 8:13:26 AM PDT by #3Fan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: Lower55
No untrimmed bushes.......or shrubs.

Ahem....OK

76 posted on 09/29/2001 8:15:03 AM PDT by #3Fan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 69 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
All space suits have lights inside the helmets for very good reasons which are unlikely to become clear at this moment.
77 posted on 09/29/2001 8:16:11 AM PDT by LibKill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #78 Removed by Moderator

To: Nea Wood
i like it best when the women step out of the pool with their hair completely dry and set.
79 posted on 09/29/2001 8:17:42 AM PDT by liliana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Cagey
You can escape any modern building by hoisting yourself into a ceiling vent and crawling through the HVAC system.
80 posted on 09/29/2001 8:18:21 AM PDT by pettifogger
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100 ... 261-262 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson