Posted on 09/06/2025 9:47:18 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
The dads were not all right.
It was 2017, and across Kentucky, divorced fathers were coming together against a common enemy: a custody system they felt favored their ex-wives.
Although custody laws in Kentucky and elsewhere granted judges discretion to decide what split was in a child’s best interest, aggrieved fathers claimed that this typically meant relegating them to the role of every-other-weekend “Disneyland dads,” forced to cram two days of fun into what mothers had two weeks to create.
“You become like ‘Uncle Dad’ instead of a parent,” said Rob Holdsworth, 53. In 2014, he reluctantly uprooted his life and civil-service career in Dayton, Ohio, to relocate to Bowling Green, where his ex-wife had moved with their two sons. He took the only job he could find—working nights in a soap factory—to see the boys just a few times a month.
“It was very depressing to be here, a couple of miles away from my kids, and be told I’m not going to get to see them more than that,” Holdsworth said.
Alone in the house near his sons’ elementary school—wandering in and out of their empty bedrooms, staring at the “Daddy you are our superhero” crayon poster they gave him for Father’s Day—Holdsworth had more time than he knew how to fill. He resolved to spend it lobbying for legislation granting dads like him more rights in a divorce or separation.
Around the country, the fathers’ rights movement was gaining momentum. Dividing time and decision-making equally between parents, advocates argued, reduced children’s feelings of abandonment, promoted gender equality and lowered tensions between feuding couples.
“There is no law that affects more people other than taxes or traffic,” said Matt Hale, vice chair of the National Parents Organization, an advocacy group formerly known as Fathers and Families.
(Excerpt) Read more at wsj.com ...
Exclusive custody for the mother is a major advantage and motive for wives in divorce proceedings and a disincentive to marriage for men.
Which is why we have the fertility rate of 1.62 births per woman.
I don’t think it is a factor.
The decline in fertility is seen globally. Even Iran and Qatar have less than replacement rate (less than 2). Even India and Bangladesh are heading below 2.
You find it among countries that provide months of parental leave plus free childcare etc and you find it among countries that don’t.
You find it among Christian, Muslim, Shinto, atheist, Hindu, Buddhist etc societies.
You find it among countries with huge female workforce participation, and among countries like India with only 20% female participation.
The only definitive factor is that the richer a society gets, the less children they have.
This actually is what most european countries do, and its because its better off for the kids. Its 50/50 by default, unless one of the parents has issues that could factor an adjustment. It basically eliminates child support wnd women using child support as another alimony payment. Of course in most european countries, alimony is temporary and not stratospherically set, both spouses being adults, they are expected to work and support themselves.
So we can tell the women to be proud, we’re behaving more like Europe, the forward thinking progressive places you love so much.
It is a factor.
The more liberally progressive and feminist a country becomes, the lower the birth rate and the increases in divorce are.
Agreed. Income effect is very strong when it comes to having children.
Feminism maybe a factor that affects fertility rate, but not as much as income. I don’t think divorce and custody matter much to fertility especially because in the US many remarry.
Yes, regarding divorce rates increasing and fertility decreasing as a country gets more feminist.
But the point was about “exclusive custody given to women post divorce” as being a factor for the reduction in fertility rates
I knew a happy married couple with three kids who got the equation right. They met in college and married young, with the wife dropping out of college and the work force to have kids. With the husband well-established as a lawyer and the kids doing well in school and tending to chores at home, the wife went back to college part time to finish her nursing degree. She delighted in sitting with her kids doing home work together. And one of their secrets to success as a family was reading books instead of watching TV.
You want chivalry, watch “The Titanic.” Nowadays, it’s every person for him- or herself.
Its because they already have their kids, they don’t want more kids in a second marriage. Most divorced moms do not want more kids with a second husband, they want to concentrate on the kids they have. They dont care if the second guy wants kids, it could be his first marriage and they still dont care.
Florida has 50-50 split of everything divorce-wise.
FWIW...
It’s even worse if you take out the illegals.
It’s even worse if you take out the illegals.
The rest of the article is behind a paywall, so I don’t know this man’s story.
But, typically, the parent who stays with the kids gets primary custody, whereas the parent who leaves gets visitation. Usually, the mother stays and the father moves out. Many fathers prefer visitation because they like their freedom.
I knew many cases where the mother moved out. Those mothers got visitation and the fathers got primary custody. So, now, the mothers should get 50/50 custody, too, at least in Kentucky.
But, IMHO, a 50/50 requirement doesn’t solve anything. Custody should be given to the more responsible parent, meaning the parent who was devoted to the children and faithful to the marriage. As it is, right now, a parent’s behavior doesn’t matter to the courts.
Courts tend to reflexively give the mother full custody, and the system then often lets her gradually use custody to exclude the father from his children's lives or use threats or denial of access as leverage or punishment. Too many ex wives regard custody as meaning that they have the upper hand and that the father must submit to what she wants or decides.
Judges are most effective when they can find a valid bright line distinction. They are less capable when it comes to understanding and remedying the back and forth of bickering exes and checking custodial mothers who slyly undermine the relationship between a non-custodial father and his children. In effect, the legislature has said to do a better job of figuring it out and to not let maternal custody mean that ex-wives get to stick it to fathers.
What woman in the US would I remarry? A woman judge stole my children and assets, breaking written state law in the process! You think I will be fooled again? It’s a political war against white males. The woman are given all the defacto rights and cash. American woman, stay away from me! Eve sold out her husband to the serpent Hasatan. Rinse and repeat.
(watch “The Titanic.”)
Women, children, Red Indians, Astronauts first...
Good points guys.
So the way men are treated in the USA is leading to less marriage, less kids etc.
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