Posted on 06/18/2024 3:47:07 AM PDT by fwdude
Before the 1960s, it was really hard to get divorced in America.
Typically, the only way to do it was to convince a judge that your spouse had committed some form of wrongdoing, like adultery, abandonment, or “cruelty” (that is, abuse). This could be difficult: “Even if you could prove you had been hit, that didn’t necessarily mean it rose to the level of cruelty that justified a divorce,” said Marcia Zug, a family law professor at the University of South Carolina.
Then came a revolution: In 1969, then-Gov. Ronald Reagan of California (who was himself divorced) signed the nation’s first no-fault divorce law, allowing people to end their marriages without proving they’d been wronged. The move was a recognition that “people were going to get out of marriages,” Zug said, and gave them a way to do that without resorting to subterfuge. Similar laws soon swept the country, and rates of domestic violence and spousal murder began to drop as people — especially women — gained more freedom to leave dangerous situations.
Today, … a counter-revolution is brewing: Conservative commentators and lawmakers are calling for an end to no-fault divorce, arguing that it has harmed men and even destroyed the fabric of society.
(Excerpt) Read more at vox.com ...
Divorce isn't the problem, it's a symptom.
The 50% law should have a statute of limitations. My spouse walked out on the family 43 years ago. Left me for a 23 year old. There were 4 children ranging in age from 7 down to 3. We never divorced because I couldn’t afford it since I never saw a penny from him. He said he would go to jail first before giving us any money. Years went by and I had to pay off several liens on our house because he had no job but sure knew how to rack up credit card debt. He finally got an under the table job but never filed for taxes. IRS caught up with him and I begged him to sign the house over to me. He had only lived there 3 years and I was the one paying the mortgage from day one. Fast forward to present day. My children went to private schools and did without a lot growing up. When I went to make out my will I was told he was entitled to half of my assets. Every male on here complains that they get a raw deal. Happens to women too.
The best advice is to marry with care, seek legal advice, and get a strong and clear prenup. Even as one hopes for enduring romance and commitment, with the fickleness of the human heart and of judges, it makes sense to negotiate like a Medici and get a good lawyer if things go sour.
Civil government has a serious interest in proper marriages. They are THE building block of society, produce minor children, affect inheritance and power of attorney, etc. they can’t avoid involvement.
THE END.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Men complain that the courts favor women. Maybe my state is different, but, in fact, the courts here don’t favor women over men. Judges don’t care why a marriage ended, either. All that matters is the math. In divorce, whoever gets the house must cough up 50% of the equity to the other spouse. All the debt either spouse has, even if it was hidden from the other spouse, is split 50/50. Whoever earns more pays the alimony. Whoever earns less receives it. And it’s based on a calculation. The statistics say more men pay alimony. Probably because, overall, men tend to earn more. That trend seems to be changing as more and more women are the breadwinners now. I’ve known many divorced people, and of all of them, mostly the women pay alimony and the men receive it. I knew a woman whose cheating husband left her for a younger woman, and the court ordered him to pay alimony, but he never did. He found a way to avoid it. The wife and kids lost the house and everything. Also, I talked with another woman who was the breadwinner in her marriage. She became terminally ill, and one day her husband emptied the accounts and ran off with another woman. He left his wife and kids penniless. All her hard-earned money was gone. I hope you find a way around this situation.
No, not always. If the cheating spouse exposes the kids to strangers they sleep with that can prevent them having primary custody. And courts donot split debt 50/50 always, especialyy when it is deliberately done to financially attempt to hurt the other spouse. Judges do get p1ssed off about that behavior.
Totally agree. No-fault has created hell for the faithful partner and the children of divorce, an easy out and dictatorial powers over the person they ditched for those who broke their vows, and a bonanza for divorce lawyers.
Prior to 1934, so did shooting your abusing spouse and burying him/her in the lower forty, without witnesses. Or moving across the country and starting new as a “widow”, a “bachelor” or a “widower.“
No fault is for people with no property or children who made a mistake the first time around. It is toxic for parents and children.
Well I speak ideally of course.
Marriage is a legal protection for the most vulnerable. All cultures all of history recognizes that.
Who told you that? A will is the decision of the person who owns the assets. Did he never sign the house over to you?
Oh, how I wish that had been true when it was my child exposed to the revolving door.
Sorry it didn’t fctor in your case, thats not always how it goes. Some judges recognize thats bad for the kids and don’t rule that way.
But family court is severely inherently biased towrds men to begin with, so unless you get a judge that views and knows thats a real danger to kids, especially girls, the normal anti-male bias the court generally has will prevail.
In Texas the assets are slit 50/50 if you are still married. They don’t care that he bailed 43 years ago. He signed over the house, but we lived in another state back then so when I sold the house, I got all the proceeds. If I knew then what I know now I would never have moved to Texas. He also gets a hefty percentage of my SS. When I die, he gets my social security payment in full.
But what does that have to do with your will?
I wish what you wrote in the second sentence were true, but it isn’t, at least not in my state, according to every lawyer I spoke with.
As for splitting the debt, there are a few exceptions to the rule, as you pointed out. Another exception is if the spouse went into debt spending money on adultery. It’s difficult to prove, though.
Family court bias varies by state, by judge and by legal fads of the moment. In my state when it was my turn, they favored men (which I am not one). Right now, greedy wicked women are destroying the lives of their exes and children in the Baltimore-Washington-Northern Virginia area.
And it’s certainly no better for boys to watch their parent dump their other parent and put on a show of being a ho or a horndog.
I hope you find someone to help you with this. Sounds like you are trying to divorce now, and that is where the 50-50 comes in. Please try to find a women’s advocacy group or a public defender group of some kind who offers pro bono help to distressed women and who can help you make the legal case that he is undeserving.
My Dad married as soon as he got back from WW2. Three weeks later, he moved out. A few months later, he pled guilty to “mental abuse” or something like that so they could get divorced. They remained friends.
I never met her. My Mom did. Said she was a nice woman but she and my Dad had changed during the previous 3 years and they both realized it just a little late.
My Mom and Dad were married until he died in Vietnam near the end of the war.
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