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To: Seaplaner

> I do see some legitimate opposition, but on balance the bill seems more fair than permanent alimony. <

Say a young wife puts her career goals aside to work, supporting her husband as he goes through medical school and then residency. Now they have a few kids. The wife’s career options have really decreased. But she doesn’t mind, based on the promises hubby made.

Then hubby meets a pretty nurse, and he demands a divorce. The couple has been married for, say, 8 years. I would think consideration must be given to that ex-wife beyond the number 8.

After all, the wife’s efforts were significant in helping the husband be a big money earner. And he’ll be earning for the next 30 years. Some sort of fair compromise must be reached here.

Side note: The above scenario is not a hypothetical. It describes a couple I knew.


10 posted on 07/03/2023 12:07:50 PM PDT by Leaning Right (The steal is real.)
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To: Leaning Right

That is the exception, not the rule.


12 posted on 07/03/2023 12:09:10 PM PDT by nwrep
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To: Leaning Right

Most states you pay about half the # of years you’ve been marrried. In your scenario, 4 years, which sounds about right, as she’ll also walk away with the house, half their assets and child support till kids turn 18 as well on top of that.


15 posted on 07/03/2023 12:10:57 PM PDT by rb22982
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To: Leaning Right

NOTHING. She gets NOTHING!


18 posted on 07/03/2023 12:18:07 PM PDT by JonPreston ( ✌ ☮️ )
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To: Leaning Right

Or..it could be like my ex wife, who basically abandoned our family for her career, played the victim when I divorced her and tells both of our two grown sons that she won’t marry her live in boyfriend of almost a decade, because she’d lose half of my pension that she’s “entitled to”.


31 posted on 07/03/2023 12:56:18 PM PDT by TallahasseeConservative (Isaiah 40:31)
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To: Leaning Right

Agreed. It needs to take into account a lot of circumstances, just not be automatic.


42 posted on 07/03/2023 1:28:49 PM PDT by Reno89519 (DeSantis 2024. Successful Governor, Honorable Veteran, Respectful, Respected.)
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To: Leaning Right

Permanent alimony for the husband, some might reversal think.


58 posted on 07/03/2023 2:40:35 PM PDT by Varsity Flight ( "War by🙏🙏 the prophesies set before you." I Timothy 1:18. Nazarite prayer warriors. 10.5.6.5)
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To: Leaning Right
Say a young wife puts her career goals aside to work, supporting her husband as he goes through medical school and then residency. Now they have a few kids. The wife’s career options have really decreased. But she doesn’t mind, based on the promises hubby made. Then hubby meets a pretty nurse, and he demands a divorce. The couple has been married for, say, 8 years. I would think consideration must be given to that ex-wife beyond the number 8... not a hypothetical. It describes a couple I knew.

Absolutely, if the wife was faithful and the husband is the one who breaks the agreement they made "at the altar" and also in terms of family goals, such as having a parent raise the children and not a series of strangers. His future earnings are a marital asset.

What some states do is have the husband pay for some sort of retraining of the wife so she can get a job. But it is rarely possible for the average person to stay out of the work force for a decade or more and then have the same opportunities as the spouse, especially a man, whose family helped him go through professional grad school and he then has an uninterrupted licensed career. It especially stings if he marries another professional with other kids, and then focuses their combined higher incomes on their "lifestyle."

In the pre-"no-fault" days, adultery was a civil crime, and the abandoning spouse did not get rewarded for it as they do under "no-fault", whether male or female. They just get to break their partner's heart, mess up the kids, and "change partners and dance." The one who cared more, loved more, sacrificed more and tried to make the marriage work is the one who gets hosed, whether male or female.

66 posted on 07/03/2023 4:24:59 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
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To: Leaning Right

Tired old feminist solipsism.

“I knew one case, so overthrow all of society, and lie about the consequences.”

Divorce rape and false allegations of sexual abuse in divorce, and the Duluth Model, are what happen most of the time.


75 posted on 07/03/2023 5:32:37 PM PDT by grey_whiskers ( The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Leaning Right

She should get some compensation for the years she worked while he was in school and getting started in his career.
A lot of things have to be taken into consideration to determine the amount paid, the time should be the time 1/2 of the time they were married.

I divorced my first wife because she couldn’t keep her legs together. I later found out the guys called her the spreadable spread. She had a fella move in with her the day after I moved out. It didn’t matter, I was on the hook for child support and alimony.
I knew I would be paying child support until my daughter was out of school.
I figured I could prove my ex-wife not needing my support because she had a live in boyfriend.
WRONG!
The judge told me in sharp terms that the alimony was my ex’s income and it would remain in force until she petitioned the court to remove it.
When they had been married for five years my ex got mad at me and carried me to court for more money.
Surprise, surprise!
The old judge had retired and a woman was now the judge. She had the entire case folder and lit into my ex like a mad hen. I ended up walking out owing no further alimony, the child support bumped back to normal levels.
I also got a six year hold on their tax returns. Hallelujah!

The woman judge said she wouldn’t allow alimony to be used as a punishment against men. In her court it would be used to allow the woman enough time to get a job and become secure in the workplace.
What a concept!


83 posted on 07/03/2023 8:55:29 PM PDT by oldvirginian (When the Devil saw me on my knees with my head down he thought he'd won, until he heard me say Amen )
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To: Leaning Right

I retired from the military and my ex gets a portion of that retirement for life even though I didn’t retire until 12 years after the divorce - even after remarrying and having her own career.


86 posted on 07/04/2023 5:34:37 AM PDT by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: Leaning Right
I would think consideration must be given to that ex-wife beyond the number 8.

Is half the kingdom sufficient, including the medical school debt ?

Or perhaps just outlaw divorce (again) ?

The third option involves a sword but I don't think Solomon's solution would always work either.
90 posted on 07/04/2023 9:04:02 AM PDT by af_vet_1981 ( The bus came by and I got on, That's when it all began)
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