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Prager: Why My Stepsons’ Father Killed Himself
Truthrevolt.org ^ | 1-31-2017 | Dennis Prager

Posted on 01/31/2017 12:46:34 PM PST by servo1969

Last week, my two stepsons' father, a man who loved life, killed himself.

I would like to tell you why.

Two years ago, a 62-year-old father of three named Bruce Graham was standing on an ladder, inspecting his roof for a leak, when it slipped out from under him. He landed on top of the ladder on his back, breaking several ribs, puncturing a lung and tearing his intestine, which wasn't detected until he went into septic shock. Following surgery, he lapsed into a two-week coma.

In retrospect, it's unfortunate that he awoke from that coma because for all intents and purposes, his life ended with that fall. Not because his mind was affected -- it was completely intact until the moment he took his life -- but because while modern medicine was adept enough to keep him alive, it was unable or unwilling to help him deal with the excruciating pain that he experienced over the next two years. And life in constant excruciating pain with no hope of ever alleviating it is not worth living.

As a result of the surgery, Bruce developed abdominal scar tissue structures known as adhesions. Adhesions can be horribly painful, but they are difficult to diagnose because they don't appear in imaging, and no surgery in America or in Mexico (where, out of desperation, he also sought treatment) could remove them permanently. Many doctors dismiss adhesions, regarding the patient's pain as psychosomatic.

The pain prevented him from getting adequate sleep. And he could not eat without the pain spiking for hours. By the time of his death, he had lost almost half his body weight.

Prescription painkillers -- opioids -- relieved much of his pain, or at least kept it to a tolerable level. But after the initial recuperation period, no doctor would prescribe one, despite the fact that this man had a well-documented injury and no record of addiction to any drug, including opioids. Doctors either wouldn't prescribe them on an ongoing basis due to the threat of losing their medical license or being held legally liable for addiction or overdose, or deemed Bruce a hypochondriac.

The federal government and states like California have made it extremely difficult for physicians to prescribe painkillers for an extended period of time. The medical establishment and government bureaucrats have decided that it is better to allow people to suffer terrible pain than to risk them becoming addicted to opioids.

They believe it is better to allow any number of innocent people to suffer hideous pain for the rest of their lives than to risk any patient getting addicted and potentially dying from an overdose.

Dr. Stephen Marmer, who teaches psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, told me that he treated children with terminal cancer when he was an intern, and even they were denied painkillers, lest they become addicted.

Pain management seems to be the Achilles' heel of modern medicine, for philosophical reasons as well as medical. Remarkably, Dr. Thomas Frieden, former director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, wrote in The New England Journal of Medicine last year, "Whereas the benefits of opioids for chronic pain remain uncertain, the risks of addiction and overdose are clear."

To most of us, this is cruel. Isn't the chance of accidental death from overdose, while in the meantime allowing patients to have some level of comfort, preferable to a life of endless severe pain?

Though I oppose suicide on religious/moral grounds and because of the emotional toll it takes on loved ones, I make an exception for people with unremitting, terrible pain. If that pain could be alleviated by painkilling medicines, and law and/or physicians deny them those medicines, it is they, not the suicide, who are morally guilty.

Bruce was ultimately treated by the system as an addict, not worthy of compassion or dignity. On the last morning of his life, after what was surely a long, lonely, horrific night of sleeplessness and agony, Bruce made two calls, two final attempts to acquire the painkillers he needed to get through another day. Neither friend could help him. Desperate to end the pain, he picked up a gun, pressed it to his chest and pulled the trigger. In a final noble act, he did not shoot himself in the head, even though that is the more certain way of dying immediately. He had told a friend some weeks earlier that if he were to take his life, he wouldn't want loved ones to experience the trauma-inducing mess that shooting himself in the head would leave. Instead, he shot himself in the heart.

An autopsy confirmed the presence of abdominal adhesions, as well as significant arthritis in his spine.

May Bruce Graham rest in peace. Some of us, however, will not live in peace until physicians' attitudes and the laws change.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Editorial; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: opioid; pain; prescription; suicide
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To: aquila48

But it does help with my decision regarding cleaning my gutters. I’m calling someone experienced to do it.


My take from it was also, don’t let the kids go up on those old ladders in the garage.


61 posted on 01/31/2017 2:00:58 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: tired&retired

Wow, that is amazing. Amazing. I take it you asked someone about it after you were well, and were able to tell them how they prayed or that they prayed? Thanks for sharing that.


62 posted on 01/31/2017 2:02:15 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle

(chuckle)


63 posted on 01/31/2017 2:04:11 PM PST by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they'd be)
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To: Paved Paradise

I agree.

And since he probably lived around here, did he try everywhere? I was so surprised to be able to get a huge bottle of codeine for my family at a local urgent care. They saw my old bottle which finally went empty after 10 years of use. (The patient was my son with bronchitis who wouldn’t touch the syrup, but they didn’t know that)


64 posted on 01/31/2017 2:04:45 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: servo1969

I dealt with my girlfriends addiction, her mom’s, her daughter’s, and her niece’s addictions for over 3 years. Opiate addiction. And it was rough. But tolerable.

It became intolerable when meds were cut off, or severely curtailed. You can’t just cut an addict off and not expect consequences. So, I cut loose a woman who I had helped get off opiates with the help of Suboxon. And then get off the Suboxon(which she said was harder than the opiates). I could not deal with the rest of the family and the lying, scamming, cheating, stealing...you name it.

Addicts are not going to just quit. And boy, you should see the people/drugs they replaced the lortabs with. I tried to tell her about her beautiful daughter’s drug problem. But she wouldn’t listen. “She has no money, how can she buy drugs?” Right..........

So, about a mo. after I cut Mom loose daughter lost her kids. Supposed to go to rehab. But a mo. later was in jail. Etc. Etc....Don’t know where she is now.

Sick, Sick, Sick. I feel guilty all the time but I just couldn’t put up with it any longer. I feel very selfish. But I had to do it for my sanity.


65 posted on 01/31/2017 2:05:29 PM PST by saleman
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To: teppe

I tend to lean Libertarian in some areas, but I don’t buy that drugs of any kind are a ‘victimless’ crime.


66 posted on 01/31/2017 2:06:02 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: cyclotic

Exactly! I do not understand! Why the concern for addiction when the other option is excruciating pain? So what? I have t take BP meds, likely the rest of my life. I guess my body needs them. Isn’t that an addiction of sorts? If, in order to function, these pain meds are necessary, then give them to the patient.


67 posted on 01/31/2017 2:07:11 PM PST by ozaukeemom (I am deplorable and proud of it.)
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To: Agamemnon

Well, that’s a ‘Duh!’ I’m pretty sure that grinding it up and snorting it isn’t what it says on the prescription bottle. ;)


68 posted on 01/31/2017 2:07:58 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: Rusty0604

Agreed.


69 posted on 01/31/2017 2:08:25 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: Robert DeLong

Oh, yes. I have a bad vertebrae in my lower back. I KNOW that kind of pain!


70 posted on 01/31/2017 2:09:12 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: LostInBayport

Dennis Prager, of course, is not a Christian.


71 posted on 01/31/2017 2:09:49 PM PST by Williams (Stop tolerating the intolerant.)
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To: Jeff Chandler

That is what they do here and it seems sensible.


72 posted on 01/31/2017 2:09:58 PM PST by ozaukeemom (I am deplorable and proud of it.)
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To: teppe

The problems is that after extended periods of time on the drugs your system becomes immune to them working and you have to take more for them to work hence the doctors are in a terrible position!!!! If the dosage would continue to work for long periods of time there would not be this problem the patients would be able to get by with the dosage given!!!


73 posted on 01/31/2017 2:10:09 PM PST by Trump Girl Kit Cat (Yosemite Sam raising hell)
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To: acad1228

“Some of us can take these meds without becoming addicted.”

That’s what I pray for! I’m not for banning it; I’m for better screening by the MD in the first place.

But, people lie. And people who are addicts lie...for a living!


74 posted on 01/31/2017 2:11:13 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: dsc
It has been so long since the concept of redemptive suffering has been taught from the pulpit that it can almost be regarded as a lost concept.

So true. You need to go back to early 1900s and read Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest) or the 1800s and read Charles Spurgeon (Morning and Evening) for old time preaching on this.

75 posted on 01/31/2017 2:11:46 PM PST by jimbug
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To: Red Badger
A person with real pain will not become addicted.......................

Absolutey true in my case. When the physical therapy finally worked, I "got off" Hydromorphone (slowly under a doctor's advice) with no withdrawal symptoms.

76 posted on 01/31/2017 2:12:37 PM PST by Ace's Dad ("America is Great because America is Good " Alexis de Tocqueville)
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To: Red Badger
A person with real pain will not become addicted.......................

Not at all true.

77 posted on 01/31/2017 2:13:13 PM PST by Hugin (Conservatism without Nationalism is a fraud.)
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To: Hugin

It was in my case..............


78 posted on 01/31/2017 2:14:43 PM PST by Red Badger (If "Majority Rule" was so important in South Africa, why isn't it that way here?.......)
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To: acad1228

God bless you. I’m 52 and recently diagnosed with RA. My pain isn’t as bad as yours, but has been life changing. I haven’t advanced to serious painkillers, but no OTCs seem to do anything. I just started on the AIP diet, and it has helped reduce the flare ups.

My dad had cancer, but was able to receive good pain management. Addiction is a concern, but there is no reason anyone in this country has to suffer such torture. The war in drugs has ruined so much of our lives. It’s time to stop the charade and restore our freedoms.


79 posted on 01/31/2017 2:14:45 PM PST by antidisestablishment ( We few, we happy few, we basket of deplorables)
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To: sargon

I’d rather risk a thousands addicts overdosing than prevent a single person from getting the relief that modern science offers.


Definitely.

It wouldn’t be difficult. After surgeries or accidents, give the patient a very small amount of opiates for their pain. Have them be seen 4 days later and seriously talk with them about their pain levels. In most cases they can be switched to a nonnarcotic or do without pain meds. If they do really need more, and doctors can confirm this by experience and seeing the pain described, then by all means continue the prescription. Keep checking on the patient.

I got a tiny kidney stone once and the urologist thought I was there to scam him for opiates. I guess it happens a lot.


80 posted on 01/31/2017 2:16:59 PM PST by Yaelle
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