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You can start with lots of resources (family support, solid moral foundation, spiritual support, emotional support are all like good DNA and money in the bank), but it's what you put into the job every day that ultimately counts. You have to find patience, perseverance….
At least, this is like a long term marriage. And without the good "DNA" you can still have a good marriage, it's just less likely and more difficult.
I watch many men think that when they like what their eyes see, they'll get a faithful and loving wife. I say--stick with porn. You'll be happier. More miserable marriages are based on a man wanting a hottie than anything else I've observed.
But, that's good for short term marriages. You can always marry a hottie in her twenties or early thirties and then get rid of her before menopause hits. Look at Rush, for instance.
It’s time to teach courtship again and the reason why it is important as the first step.
From now on, when I buy yogurt, I'm going to ask myself, "What can I do for this yogurt?"
Had the huge wedding with the first wife. Ended in divorce after she had affairs. My 2nd wife and I got married by a judge nearly fourteen years ago. No others present. People talk about about what a great marriage we have because of the way we love each other. The key is having each other’s back.
To much of anything is not good think first.
If I take a test drive in a car, and decide I don't want it and take it back to the dealer, the car doesn't care. Nor do I get emotionally involved with the car. "Test driving" a marriage is not really like living in a committed marriage. You can't find out what a marriage to someone would be like by "trying it out," with an eye on the door if it doesn't work.
There's a lot to be said for a courtship that focuses on the couple getting to know each other well.
“whole truly counterintuitive point of a happy marriage is that you’re not supposed to be thinking about what your spouse can do for you so much as what you can do for your spouse.”
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The woman quoted makes an excellent point. The notion of putting others first has become rare indeed in our society.
Overall, I have to agree with the assessment of the article. My personal case worked out a bit differently, but only because of a direct promise to God. My wife and I lived together for seven years, then broke up for seven years. Circumstances happened, and we got back together. Part of the circumstances that led us back together was my return to the Catholic Church after a twenty-year hiatus, and her conversion to the Catholic Church. If not for the Catholic community treasure, we would most likely have not gotten married. But when we reconnected, I made a solemn promise to God that I would marry her and make it work. She has been the only woman in my life for nearly 35 years (even when we split, I did not chase around, but spent my time getting square with God). While I would not recommend others trying our path; it worked in our case, but it has been a wild ride up to about five years ago. Pax domini sit semper vobiscum.
An amazing rehash of that which those of us taught traditional, scriptural principals have always known.
I am always amazed at how clueless people are today at what marriage is and how it works. The wedding ceremony extravaganzas and the “It’s MY DAY!” focus is the initial indicator people aren’t getting it right. If you are “practicing” it, right there you haven’t got the commitment part down.
Marriage is about two people, a man and a woman, making a lifelong commitment in God’s eyes to create a stable and helpful platform to raise a family, to help one another, love one another, and otherwise work out God’s plan for their lives. The hearts and flowers are a myth. I laugh when I see gays screaming for marriage. They have no idea.
I met a gay couple the other day threatening to break up because the front room of the house was too hot. True.
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