Posted on 07/04/2014 8:42:07 PM PDT by canuck_conservative
... But then there’s a lot about labour that nobody puts in so many words. Nobody ever told me that after the birth, I would feel as shaken as if I’d been in a car crash. That was how I felt for about two days after my oldest son was born, 32 years ago.
I now see it as my fatherly, comradely duty to pass on that kind of information, sparing no gory detail, to young men about to see service in that war zone for the first time. Nobody else — certainly not those fluffy prenatal classes — will fill them in.
“You do know about the afterbirth?” I murmur solicitously, watching them go green with a certain satisfaction. Nobody told me. When it appeared — about five minutes after the main event — I was already cooing over my first-born son. “Dear God!” I exclaimed. “There’s another one arriving!”
New fathers also need to be told that, when they enter that room, they might not see daylight again for a long time; and also that, in the endless night to come, they are likely to witness sights no civilized man should ever see except in gruesome hand-to-hand combat with axe and pike.
My older daughter was born after 30 hours of labour in hospital, culminating in an emergency Caesarean with 18 medical staff in the operating theatre (plus my irrelevant self). The next day, I asked the Registrar: “How is it that we can calculate the weight and circumference of a planet 10 billion light years away, but we can’t know the weight of a baby before it’s born?” (He answered: “That’s an interesting question and I wish I could give you an answer, but what I can tell you is that, if this mother had been ....
(Excerpt) Read more at life.nationalpost.com ...
April 28, 1980 I delivered my daughter at home. We, myself, mom and 11 year old step daughter all went to our doctor of choice’s meetings, with other like minded parents to be, over the course of pregnancy. We were given specific instructions that had to be followed or be discharged from the program. Any possible complications with the pregnancy or and a hospital delivery was the only option.
Wife broke water and went into labor. A midwife arrived some time later and finally the doctor. He had a seat and after some observation said to me “why don’t you deliver the baby”. Surprised and after some simple works of instruction from him, I guided our daughter out and placed her on her moms chest. She immediately crawled to her moms breast and began nursing. We waited for the pulse in the cord to cease and our now 12 year old daughter calmly and firmly stated that she should be allowed to cut the cord. I handed her the scissors.
Bonding at it’s best!
Men need to be at his wife’s shoulders, there is no need to ‘catch’ the baby. There’s some normal but unappetizing stuff going on.
And a lot of healing after. If the dad needs to be the first holder, fine, but let the doctor/nurse hand the baby right over the mother’s right thigh.
Men tend to view their wive’s parts as their own, and the temporary dislocation of that ‘part’ is not helpful to their view. Not only that, birthing mothers may yearn for Mother’s and Sister’s help... who will have no sexual impact on the delivery for the mom and dad later.
Wuss! Don't forget your catcher's mitt and you'll be fine.
Fir me it was exactly that.... I was shedding big time tears of joy as my wife and I welcomed my son into this world
I really pity those who missed such a great opportunity. There is nothing like it in the whole world.
IMO the father should be OUTSIDE, handing out cigars.
yeah, on the %, docs often opt for C-sections to prevent ANY liability issues, but a large portion of those are decided/scheduled beforehand. The big emergency is when you’re in the labor room and have a problem requiring instant medical attention. Those are probably higher than 1% but still only a fraction of C-sections.
I can’t think of any friends who had C-sections when they weren’t pre-scheduled or at least pre-determined that they’d be C-sections. And, generally, once a woman’s had a C-section, her subsequent deliveries are C-sections. After an emergency C-section with my first, my next was sure gonna be a C. Its being twins sorta sealed that deal.
I never will understand the militants who insist on home births being safer than in a hospital with an MD in the wings. I guess again 99% would work out with a healthy, young mother. I wouldn’t take the chance.
I’ve never been fortunate enough to have a baby, so I can’t speak from personal experience. But I understand there is often a point during labor where the mother begins screaming at the dad, (”Look what you did to me, this is your fault,” etc.,) and the sweetest little lady will begin using the most awful swear words. Dads-to-be are warned about that in Lamaze class. I wonder if that isn’t Mother Nature’s way of saying that men aren’t supposed to be there. (Please don’t flame!)
Also, isn’t it true that some men, after watching their wives give birth, have trouble feeling attracted to them after that? That could be another sign.
Perhaps things were better in the days when the dad paced in the waiting room, a nurse came out and told him whether it was a boy or a girl, and then he passed out cigars!
My first daughter was presenting occiput transverse. The obstetrician had to perform a mid-forceps procedure or both she and the baby (FReeper NattieShea) would have died.
Many years ago, 39 and 38 to be exact, my children were born.
I cared a great deal about my wife and was just as excited as she was that we were going to be parents.
At the time, it wasn’t very common for fathers to request to be in the delivery room. There was no way I was going to take a pass on it.
I helped my wife get in that position, and I was going to be there at her shoulder during the process. I was there to comfort her any way I could.
Today, those two births are probably the most memorable moments in my life. I wouldn’t trade them for any other experience.
Ladies, yes you carry the children. You have my respect for doing so. IT IS NOT your moment alone with the child. It is your husband’s moment too.
If you don’t want him by your side for your comfort, at least have the class to allow him to be there for the experience.
Men, you will decide for yourself how much you do. I didn’t catch the baby or take possession, or anything else. The mother should hold the baby first as long as she is capable. I wasn’t there to rain on her parade at all. I will tell you, being there during the birth and the moments just after, were amazing moments.
Don’t miss out on this dads. Don’t let some wimp ass nincompoop scare you into thinking this will be a terrible ordeal for you. It won’t be. I can’t remember one bad memory from it.
Ladies, it’s okay for you to think you can do this all by yourself. In many instances you can. In many instances you can’t. Physicians are there to assist you. They are there to make sure your body is capable of returning to a healthy situation as soon as possible after birth.
Now, while you can deliver by yourself, mortality rates are low, because there is a team there to assist you. These doctors and nurses have seen just about everything, and any complications become non important because they handle them calmly and efficiently, so much so that parents don’t even know there was a problem most of the time.
Anyone who thinks they are just catchers, really needs to study up on the subject.
Absolutely! Here’s to you bud!
Funny you should mention that. We had some people we knew who took videos of their children being born. Then they proceeded to try to show them to everyone when they got the chance. I’m not just talking about shots from the mother’s perspective looking down at the physician. No, they had the full video of the children emerging.
Wow..., no thanks. And if you think it’s easy to tell these happy parents you don’t want to see it, think again.
They’re so proud they think you should be happy to see the wife spread-eagled with kid exciting. They get insulted if you don’t jump at the chance. Ah no thanks!
Bingo bud!
One of my daughters gave birth to a beautiful baby girl three days ago. A couple days before, her two-year-old daughter was asking her "Mommy, when is my baby sister going to pop out?". She told her babies don't just pop out. Well, she got contractions, went to the hospital, and shortly thereafter the baby indeed popped out, the doctor barely turning around in time to catch the baby. Mom didn't need to push or be told to push, this kid flew out. The two-year-old was right and all the family had a laugh about it. Thirty-five years ago when the new mom (my daughter) was born, I helped deliver her beside a midwife, and cut the cord with a scissors. Wonderful experience and I recommend it to any dad.
Pretty funny article!
My husband and I were never blessed with living children.
But had we been, I would have wanted him with me. This is a life we created together. I wouldn’t have wanted my Mom or sister. Since the poor guy couldn’t even say “pregnant” without blushing...it would probably have been a hard task for him.
But he would have done it. Even if he passed out later, lol. He loved me and would have loved our child and in his heart he would know that if I desired his presence he would be there.
Heck, if I had said “Honey, I have to walk thru hell and I need you to go with me” he wouldn’t have said Yippee. But he would darn sure have gone. And I for him.
I delivered my last four children, at home.
I fear you have been grossly misinformed about the proceedings.
Afterbirth is a sure sign we’re descended from aliens. Cthulu, probably.
Never forget when my son was born. The doctor asked my if I wanted to snip the umbilical cord. I was pretty shook up and didn’t want to be there, thinking I ought to be handing out seegars instead...so I looked at the doctor and said, “look doc, I don’t want you coming around my work and telling me how to do my job, so I don’t think that I should be here, trying to do your job...”
Fascinating that you do not think they are his babies as well.
no sharing of the pain....?
try the rest of the marriage from that point on.
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