Posted on 01/18/2013 2:05:46 PM PST by NYer
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.
Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.
Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.
Suzanne Venker’s article, “The War on Men,” which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.
“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.
She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.
“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.
As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”
“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”
“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”
“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”
Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.
“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.”
A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.
Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.
“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.
Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.
The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.
Go for FOBs (Fresh Off Boat), old-school wives appreciative of a providing husband. So many of today’s younger American women are not keepers.
You, m’dear, are Brilliant!
Well said!
How about postmarital sex with somebody you've never married; when both of you have been married previously?
Is that a problem in your 60's?
I can’t see being married again, myself.
Happy New Year to you, too! We’re expecting Anoreth and her fine dog to arrive any time now. I think she’s coming here to buy guns.
STD
One of the young lady bluegrass performers did a song on that subject, “Crying All the Way to the Bank.” I think a man did one on the same theme.
Not a problem, but I wouldn't care if it was. With my family history, I'll be lucky to be alive in 5 years anyway.
Yep. No fault divorce was a huge mistake. IIRC, the Communists said as much. Dissolve the American family. Remove God from the public square. Conquer America. It’s working.
God bless and keep you.
Shame on you. You should have done something to help that poor dog.
‘“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.’
Bonnie Tyler with her song, “Holding Out For A Hero,” asked the same back in the ‘80s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVtaVrUAPK0
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream
of what I need
And more recently Paula Cole asked the same with her song, “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuHlFUN13_8
Oh you get me ready in your 56 chevy
Why don’t we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter on my front porch
The dandy lion sun scorching,
Like a glass of cold lemonade
I will do laundry if you pay all the bills
CHORUS:
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
I fully agree with the study, American Women are so screwed up, they No Longer believe in being Women, They believe there is no consequences for Sex, They are ALL TOO EASY to bed down, unfortunately for them by the time they get to be my age (50’s) when they start to realize they threw their life away it is too late and most Men don’t want anything to do with them. I married a Women 15 years younger than me that grew up and lived in Austria til she was in her late twenties, she never had her Mind corrupted by Hollywood and the Feminist Movement. Before I Married her 9 years ago, as a 43 yr old man then, the vast majority of women my Age Would and still will drop their pants on Hello, in the hopes of landing a Man to take care of her. Feminism has Destroyed Womens Lives, Hopes, Dreams and Futures as far as I am concerned.
could it be the fact that a large percentage of US men need to take viagra to get it up, have lower sperm counts, and lower fertility rates than past generations?.....
that their idea of a good time is to sit infront of a computer having intimate sexual relations with a complete stranger?.....
“Women have become the men they want to marry.”
That’s why men are looking overseas in increasing numbers for women who would rather be women, not womyn.
and we wonder why this society is so base and immoral....
And ditto for some women - who lost to a shiftless husband.
Throughout this thread there's much talk of the "feminist movement" and how that has effected men. I have to agree that surely has not helped women attract men - certainly not me.
There's another theme throughout this thread that has done more damage than feminism - lack of traditional values. Being irreligious. In a word, Godlessness.
But unseen on this thread is another common complaint I've heard from many men - too little or no 'sex.'
I've been married most of my adult life - and most of that to a woman that would not keep the house clean, and she didn't work elsewhere either. I tolerated that for years, but the marriage ended when she left the marital bed for more than a year.
At age 70 I've remarried to a cute little gal of 75 that loves to make love. I marvel at the difference - and wonder if other men - and likely a lot of women too, have suffered from too little love making - and too little other constant manifestations of love from their spouse.
Divorce is rougher on men financially (usually) than it is on women. I lost - big. But, emotionally divorce hits women harder (strictly from what I have seen) - and it surely badly hurts young children, and instills in them a fear of marriage to some degree.
Bottom line - a good marriage takes hard work, and a belief that keeping that marriage alive and well takes total commitment to a loving relationship.
You are absolutely correct. I’m a 55 year old female. Most of my friends are in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. The ones that are not married are perfectly happy to be single. They don’t feel the need to have a man, they can take care of themselves. Some of the men of FR are a perfect example of why.
I have never seen so much blaming of women for their own failures. If something was to happen to my marriage I would never remarry. My eyes have been opened by what I have read right here on this forum.
Maybe if there were more real men there’d be more real women.
and what state is the morality of men?.....go read about the Steubenville football team and get back to me....
actually, the male/female relationships are going the way of animals....
in the animal world only a select few macho animals (alpha males) get to mate with the female of the species.....
maybe its going to be that way....the wimpy, cry baby males are going to be left playing with themselves and the few strong bodies, strong willed men are going to father all the children....
I keep waiting for real men to emerge in America, and sadly, even down to he marriage aspect, all I see are little boys....whiny little boys who blame everyone else except themselves for their plight....
I’m 54 years old and I’m on Plan C.
Plan A: High School sweethearts. Marry when ready. Raise 2.5 kids. Live happily ever after.
Plan B: (after Plan A fails miserably). Meet someone in your 30s, possibly with kids of their own. Fall in love. Marry. Raise 1 or 2 kids. Live happily ever after.
Plan C: (after Plans A & B crap out) “Everybody else can starve. Me and my dog never will.”
Personally I never dabbled in Plans A or B. I went directly to Plan C after witnessing the aftermath of Plans A and B on some of my friends.
Title IX and allowing women to vote are great examples!
And what is out there now?
Either her brain is filled with misandrist crap from the so called education establishment, or “I just want to party party party and get drunk drunk drunk” (sounds like typical lyrics of a typical pop start “artist” who sings through a computer). And the latter is looking for Mister Sleaze.
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