I’ve polled the two standard poodles in my house and the response was unanimous:
“He tries to hit it and we take his face off.”
And then they resumed napping.
Unless you're Barack Obama, that is. Heh. I heard his Indian name is "Dances With Moonbats", or maybe that was Liz Warren.
Thanks for the laugh of the day.
You have given new meaning to the phrase “screwed the pooch”!
“My Native-American name, from now on, is ‘Molests Your Poodle.’”
And your son’s Native-American name is “Condom Made In China”.
I was invited to take part in an indian dance ceremony. I put on my loin cloth and started to dance around the fire. There’s a lot of twirling in indian dancing. After the dance, the chief called me over.
“We are now going to give you your official indian name. It is CHEE-CHOOK-A-MAWAY.”
I was honored.
“What does that mean?” I asked him.
“It roughly translates out to ‘WHITE MOON WITH A CRACK’”
I’d forgot to wear my buckskin breeches.
I have no native blood in me so I feel deprived but I would gladly join the Laz tribe since it sounds like the coolest tribal name.
My dad swore that six generations back, somebody in his family married an Indian.
Although I have high cheekbones, I have never attempted to capitalize on it.
;-P
Do Poodles like peanut butter?
AKA “Hits Your Dog”.
Laz is exercising his “Inner Arab” with this article. Clearly, the “Molests Your Poodle” is derived from the name of Achmedidyerdog- the Iranian Leader.
We understand the reason for the lack of attribution, Laz. From worrying about scalping to worrying about “neck cutting”, a literary life has never been an easy one.
;-)
Little Indian boy asks Mama-squaw:
“Mama-squaw, how did I get my name?”
“Well, you see, son, we have this tradition. When the mother gives birth, she looks outside the tepee and names her child after the first thing she sees.
That’s why your brother is named Standing Elk, and your sister is named Little Doe.
Why do you ask, Two Dogs F.....g?”
My Indian name is:
“squaw who like-um heap big wampum”
Wampum change-um everything!
OK, I’ll admit I’m Choctaw Indian. My great great grandfather from England, on my father’s side, lived in Arkansas, married a Choctaw Indian woman when the tribe went through Arkansas to get to Oklahoma where they had been sent. Both my mother and father grew up in Arkansas and except for the Indian woman, the rest were English on both sides.
My parents told me this and the Indian heritage was common knowledge in my family.
I wouldn’t think, that long ago, that records were kept of marriages.
So, I can’t prove it but I know it’s there. Maybe I should put “Indian” on any document I need to fill out. I demand money from this Indian hating government and I want a piece of Oklahoma where this Indian hating governnent sent my Indian ancestors.
And, I got no money from this Indian hating government to pay for my extensive schooling. I demand that money back.
Gee, it’s great to be an Indian.
Hold your horses, Mister! When I was just a young thing, playing cowboys and Indians out back...I don’t think I was ever the Cherokee!!!
I was a proud Cowboy(girl)!!!
Got ‘em every time, too. My 6-shooter finger was an excellent shot.
I come from a tribe of Jewish Indians...
...the Schmohawks.
My Native American name is Hiawathowitz, which means “Never Pays Retail.”
< Dog Whisperer > *tssst!!!* *snaps fingers* < / Dog Whisperer >
Signed,
Olathe Litonya - Beautiful Darting Hummingbird
OK Laz, I’ll acknowledge your Indian heritage and raise you some Royal lineage!
The limits of absurdity
By Norm Lenhart
Rush Limbaugh is famous for his ability to ‘use absurdity to illustrate the absurd’. It’s often hilarious and grinds down to the crux of his topic du jour. But how many of us ever really stop to think about how very ‘absurd” some of the absolute garbage we are fed daily by the Democrats and the MSM really is? Because we are being fed increasing levels of absurdity daily, we are growing immune. We don’t even bat an eye at some of the BS anymore because it’s expected. In reality that ‘absurdity’ is part and parcel of the Cloward-Piven strategy to overwhelm the system...the system being the American people and what we truly believe.
I want to make a statement. The name “Lenhart” is a variation of “Lionheart” which carries royal lineage. Further, I have been told by my grandmother that we have a heritage with roots back into the American Indian Mohawk tribe. I now state that As I am descended from Kings and carry within me the genetic legacy of the Original People, that I am not only entitled to special treatment, both financially and politically, but I am entitled to rule over Americans of ‘lesser stock’.
Now I want some liberal apologist to tell me how I, with links to the past that I CAN prove, should be denied and Elizabeth Warren and her claims, which she cannot, is accepted. Does any thinking person believe for a moment that my legacy entitles me to something over and above my fellow man or woman? How? Exactly?
Likewise, lets consider the absolute fallacy being spouted by the Obama Admin and designated agents over his spending claims of frugality. Millions unemployed, daily reports of companies laying off and bankruptcy, ‘accounting’ tricks that wouldn’t make it through a high school business math course and the American version of Saddam’s PR department standing before us doing an impression of “The Liar”.
We expect this. We accept this. And that’s the problem. Perhaps instead of expectation and acceptance, we should be laughing in the face of any person so blatantly stupid as to promote it. The MSM, the local politician and the President of the United States alike.
On the other hand, I promise to be a just ruler, who yields authority to no man. Except for my fellow Freeper “Army Air Corps” who has laid claim to the throne of the Galactic Empire. If fantasy and absurdity are the order of the day and Elisabeth Warren can milk that cow, then so shall we.
The Royal ‘we’.