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Some Healing for Woman Bullied as a Teen
Yahoo! ^ | May 18, 2012 | Pueng Vongs

Posted on 05/18/2012 7:22:19 PM PDT by floridavoter2

A woman who was bullied mercilessly in high school 25 years ago has gotten some closure from a class reunion page on Facebook.

Lynda Frederick, a graduate of Orange Glen High in Escondido, Calif., in 1987, posted a heartbreaking poem about her experience on her school's 25th class reunion page.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
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To: Kakaze

I agree 100%!! That was then, this is now. Get over it!

Who WASN”T picked on, teased, whatever in school. Kids can be vicious. It’s a fact of life. PARENTS are called upon to correct it, but then, not now! I am sick of hearing about this.

If someone is being beat up, or anything physical, not just a prank or teasing, then that is beyond bullying, that is assault and the schools need to step in. But even then, it was in school! Once you are an adult, you are expected to understand the fact that kids are stupid and do stupid things. GET OVER IT! What kind of pathetic life must an adult live to wallow in self pity over things that happen in a school?


21 posted on 05/18/2012 8:01:09 PM PDT by gidget7 ("When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property." Thomas Jefferson)
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To: floridavoter2

Had a friend who went to a different school than I did.

This was in the late sixties. She was hyperfocused on a guy who wore suits and suit jackets and a pocket protector and carried a briefcase. He was sorely bullied by kids in his school.

My friend uesed to go on for long periods of time about how discusting this poor soul was. This normally nice woman became an angry vindictive witch.

Years later she was angry because at her HS reunion the guy had not attended but instead wrote a pretty pointed letter telling peoople how much he had suffered in high school. This women three decades later was raging that he was trying to ruin every one’s good time.

No insight. No compassion, me, me, me.

She grew up to be a major leftist. Dropped our 30+ year friendship when Bush won his second term.


22 posted on 05/18/2012 8:02:23 PM PDT by Chickensoup (STOP The Great O-ppression)
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To: exDemMom

Standing up to the lone bully, that almost nobody likes, could well work.

When bullying has gotten organized into a gang, things are dicier.


23 posted on 05/18/2012 8:02:37 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Mitt! You're going to have to try harder than that to be "severely conservative" my friend.)
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To: RightOnline

AMEN !


24 posted on 05/18/2012 8:02:37 PM PDT by gidget7 ("When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property." Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Morgana
They come up to you at reunions and talk to you like they knew you in school?


Funny because it's so true...


and even funnier when your still hot, and they are so not!
25 posted on 05/18/2012 8:04:12 PM PDT by dagoofyfoot
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To: Morgana
next year will be my 40th... haven't been to one yet, and still don't want to see any i don't still on a regular basis
26 posted on 05/18/2012 8:07:09 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: exDemMom

No they shouldn’t shut up and take when it is going on. But once they are adults, yes. Like this woman in the article.


27 posted on 05/18/2012 8:08:09 PM PDT by gidget7 ("When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property." Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Morgana

ROFL isn’t it the truth!


28 posted on 05/18/2012 8:10:58 PM PDT by gidget7 ("When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property." Thomas Jefferson)
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To: CaptainK
There's a lot of legitimate difference of opinion on this thread, but I agree with you on that point. There is a big difference between a lone "playground bully," so to speak, and a vindictive (almost predatory) group of kids who take it upon themselves to make life miserable for one or two classmates for no good reason.

As an FYI ... I think Columbine-like incidents are almost always a response to the second type of situation, not the first.

29 posted on 05/18/2012 8:13:54 PM PDT by Alberta's Child ("If you touch my junk, I'm gonna have you arrested.")
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To: floridavoter2
Many, if not most, victims are totally alone in their battle.

Your post was excellent, from start to finish.

The advise that some people give, like "be a man, stand up to your bully", might work in some limited cases. But in general it's naive to the point of being silly.

I was an urban school teacher for quite a few years. I've never seen a bully back down. I'm sure it happens, but I've never seen it. What I have seen is a bully and his "posse" kick a victim senseless until help could arrive.

And what's worse are comments like "there have always been bullies, get used to it." Tell that to the kid laying on the floor with a broken rib (yeah, I saw that too).

30 posted on 05/18/2012 8:15:11 PM PDT by Leaning Right (Why am I carrying this lantern? you ask. I am looking for the next Reagan.)
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To: Leaning Right
It's hard to come up with a single type of response to a bullying problem that works across the board. There are so many variables at work, including the number of individuals involved to the parental situations of the aggressors, etc.

I am aware of one case involving a very specific situation where a relative was being bullied by a kid who happened to be the son of a respected local physician. The parents of the victim had a hard time getting anyone at the school to do anything, partly because of the aggressor's family influence in town, etc.

The father of the victim rightly figured that a certain measure would work in this situation that might not work in other cases. He simply called the doctor at his office one day, identified himself, and said that if the bully ever picked on his son again, he was qoing to drive right over to the doctor's office and kill him in front of his patients and staff. Of course, this was a big risk but he figured it wasn't likely there would be any evidence to support a criminal charge against him for making a threat like this.

The bully never showed up in that school again. He was sent to a private school, and the problem was solved. With certain types of parents who have a lot to lose, the most effective thing you can do is convince them that they're dealing with someone who is nuts and has nothing to lose.

31 posted on 05/18/2012 8:25:33 PM PDT by Alberta's Child ("If you touch my junk, I'm gonna have you arrested.")
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To: RightOnline

Sorry,.I cant agree with you. The bully problem makes life miserable for the kids that are bullied. The so called adults in the schools actuallt participate in it so they too can be cool by picking on the kids. The school administrators should be personally liable for civil damages when they fail to step in to stop it. Then it would stop. Bullying is a terrible terrible thing and you are very wrong to try and diminish the seriousness of the problem


32 posted on 05/18/2012 8:26:09 PM PDT by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
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To: floridavoter2

What is terribly different today than 50 years ago, is racial violence and crime, as bullying in public schools.


33 posted on 05/18/2012 8:27:21 PM PDT by ansel12 (When immutable definition of Bible marriage of One Man, One Woman, is in jeopardy, call the Mormon.)
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To: RightOnline

“Know how to stop them? Ridiculously simple. Stand up to them. Challenge them. Get in their faces. Like all cowards, they back down. Every time.”

Doing so will get kids suspended or expelled from school these days.


34 posted on 05/18/2012 8:30:15 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: RightOnline

“From now on, if you have issues with bullying in your life-circle, it’s your own damned fault.”

Must be nice to live in such a simple world.


35 posted on 05/18/2012 8:31:48 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: gidget7
kids are stupid and do stupid things. GET OVER IT!

Sorry, but no. Bullying in school is very much like being harassed as an adult (only worse, because adults can handle things mentally that young people can't).

Suppose that someone starting calling your work, repeatedly, and spread rumors about you. Maybe they told your supervisor that you were some sort of pervert. And maybe they made calls to your house, laughed, then hung up. And maybe called the electric company and cancelled your service. And threw garbage on your lawn, again and again. And a million other things to make your life miserable.

And maybe this went on for months and months and months. You, my FRiend, are being bullied as an adult. Should you just get over it, once it stops? Or would it - sadly - become a part of you?

Sorry for being so harsh here. But as I said on an earlier post, I was once an urban school teacher. I've seen a lot of bullying that left permanent mental scars.

36 posted on 05/18/2012 8:33:10 PM PDT by Leaning Right (Why am I carrying this lantern? you ask. I am looking for the next Reagan.)
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To: driftdiver

you can take it a step further and say a group of kids attack their victim and the victim has a weapon and kills of one the attackers, you have the Trayvon situation all over again.


37 posted on 05/18/2012 8:36:16 PM PDT by Blue Highway
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To: CaptainK

I was big for my age in high school. I saw a kid in school getting picked on every day. One day a group of kids were knocking his books out of his hands. He would pick them up and they would do it again. I stepped in the middle and squared off with one of the kids. Without giving him a second I punched him in the stomach. He ended up on his butt gasping for air. Then got up and left. I saw him later during the school day and told him if anyone picks on that kid again I was going to come after him. He showed me the knuckle marks I left in his stomach which I thought was pretty neat. If I could do that in 9th grade then adults that run the schools can also solve the problem.


38 posted on 05/18/2012 8:38:50 PM PDT by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
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To: CaptainK

I was big for my age in high school. I saw a kid in school getting picked on every day. One day a group of kids were knocking his books out of his hands. He would pick them up and they would do it again. I stepped in the middle and squared off with one of the kids. Without giving him a second I punched him in the stomach. He ended up on his butt gasping for air. Then got up and left. I saw him later during the school day and told him if anyone picks on that kid again I was going to come after him. He showed me the knuckle marks I left in his stomach which I thought was pretty neat. If I could do that in 9th grade then adults that run the schools can also solve the problem.


39 posted on 05/18/2012 8:39:03 PM PDT by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
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To: CaptainK

I was big for my age in high school. I saw a kid in school getting picked on every day. One day a group of kids were knocking his books out of his hands. He would pick them up and they would do it again. I stepped in the middle and squared off with one of the kids. Without giving him a second I punched him in the stomach. He ended up on his butt gasping for air. Then got up and left. I saw him later during the school day and told him if anyone picks on that kid again I was going to come after him. He showed me the knuckle marks I left in his stomach which I thought was pretty neat. If I could do that in 9th grade then adults that run the schools can also solve the problem.


40 posted on 05/18/2012 8:39:17 PM PDT by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
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