Posted on 11/15/2011 6:21:13 AM PST by Kaslin
Penn State football coach Joe Paterno released a statement on Wednesday in which he said, "With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more." How lame is that, Coach?
Would you have accepted that excuse from one of your players? "With the benefit of hindsight, Coach, I wish I had run the route we rehearsed a thousand times in practice." See how stupid that sounds? It doesn't take "hindsight" to know that when some monster is raping children in your locker room, you call the police.
Coach, you knew back in 2002 that Jerry Sandusky had anally raped a ten-year-old boy in the Lasch Football Building. You handled the matter quietly with your athletic director, Tim Curley. You took away the rapist's keys and barred him from the facility -- but you didn't call the police. You didn't lift a finger to help the victim. No hindsight needed, Coach. You screwed up.
Yes, we all know about your 61-year career at Penn State. But when you allow children to be victimized right under your nose, you wipe out 61 years of achievement. The Jerry Sandusky scandal is your legacy now.
This scandal has also indelibly stained the reputation of The Second Mile, the charity Jerry Sandusky founded in 1977 as a foster-care program for at-risk kids. Turns out the kids were most at-risk from Sandusky himself.
The Second Mile was one of George Bush Sr.'s Thousand Points of Light and probably did some good work. But the grand jury says Sandusky met his victims through The Second Mile. So even if the program survives this scandal, it will always be remembered as Jerry Sandusky's private sandbox for recruiting rape victims.
As for the child rapist himself (do I have to say "alleged," given what we know?), you have to stand amazed at his gall. He actually had the brass to title his autobiography "Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story." What is that, the punchline of a sick joke?
I don't want to hear any more "benefit of hindsight" excuses. So let's be clear about what you should do if you learn that a child is being sexually abused. Print this out, post it on your bulletin board, and make sure everyone in your family, company, or organization knows how to respond to child sexual abuse.
1. If you see an act of child abuse in progress, step in and STOP IT. I have to wonder why the grad assistant who witnessed the rape felt he only had to report it to someone. Why didn't he jump in, knock Sandusky on his butt, and protect the child? If you see a child being raped by an adult, please have the guts and good sense to intervene.
2. If a child tells you he or she is being abused, don't panic, don't act shocked. Make sure the child feels supported and protected. Say, "You did the right thing in telling me."
3. Believe the child. Even if the offender is "good old Uncle Charlie," tell the child, "I believe you." It takes courage for kids to speak up because they fear they won't be believed. Kids need to know you're on their side, and they almost never imagine sex acts unless they've experienced them.
4. Tell the child that he or she is not bad. Say, "He knew better; you didn't know. We'll make sure he can't touch you again."
5. Focus on the child's needs. Don't think about the reputation of any individual or organization. The moment you shift your focus off of what's best for the child, you're on the wrong side of the issue.
We as a people need to stop protecting our institutions over our children; whether it is the church, the university, or the institution of the family it is time for us to put our children first not last.
6. Don't confront the offender in front of the child. Keep adult discussions away from the child. Kids need to feel protected. They don't need to be upset, disturbed, and frightened.
7. Report the crime to the police. Law enforcement agencies in your area have trained investigators who will talk with you and the child, and who know exactly how best to handle the situation.
And don't you dare tell me that you don't have the heart to have "good old Uncle Charlie" arrested. If Uncle Charlie is molesting a child, protect that child!
I've heard too many horror stories of people who protected "good old Uncle Charlie" or "good old Coach Sandusky" instead of protecting children. You must have absolute moral clarity: Child molesters belong in jail where they can't hurt children. If you don't call the police, then you are an accomplice and no better than a molester yourself.
8. If the molester is a member of the clergy, DO NOT report the abuse to church officials. If the molester is a coach or teacher, DO NOT report the abuse to the school authorities. Some churches and organizations worry more about lawsuits and bad publicity than about kids. Just call the police.
9. Don't call Child Protective Services -- investigating crimes is not the function of CPS. If the police determine that CPS should be involved, they will make that decision.
Don't let the predator talk you out calling the police. Most predators are amazingly persuasive -- that's how they entice their victims, and that's how they get people to cover for them instead of reporting them. Don't be taken in by a charming predator.
10. After you call the police, call the ChildHelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4ACHILD (1-800-422-4453). The ChildHelp counselor will listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and direct you to local support services for the child.
Finally, don't you ever use the "benefit of hindsight" excuse! I've armed you with the foresight to do the right thing to protect a child—and that child is counting on you.
One point regarding Paterno that illustrates how a lot of people have developed strong opinions based on assumptions and not facts.
A child never reported any abuse to Paterno at least as far as we know. It was an adult who told Paterno he saw a child being abused. How to deal with a second-hand report from someone not the victim is not that cut and dry.
Otherwise, he makes great points.
I guess Sandusky was “born that way”...
Kaslin.... I think one point is missing. Personally, I have talked to my children when they were very young about “bad touching”. A parent can use age appropriate words to simply explain that people shouldn’t be touching their “private” parts. I believe this opens the door to communication between the parent and child and the child may then feel more comfortable talking to his/her parents over anything uncomfortable. Just a thought.
It worked for one group of perverts. So why not another group of perverts.
What kid is going to “report child abuse” to Paterno. Get real. The kids were (I hate this term) “groomed” and so discombobulated they didn’t and couldn’t protect themselves. No. Adults are supposed to protect children. You can’t blame the kids for not protecting themselves.
I can remember when my boys were little, one of them actually assumed the “bad guys” would announce their “badness”. which of course, they don’t. They pretend it’s all on the up and up.
Points #1 and #6 are to some degree in conflict, but all in all a good list.
I remember my uncle who was in charge of maintenance for a large chain hotel. He told us all that if we were ever in a hotel and thought there was a fire, to get an outside line and call the local Fire Dept. directly. He said that if you reported it to the front desk they would just send he or another maintenance guy up to handle it to try and keep things quiet. And often that delay could be deadly.
Organizations always circle the wagons to protect themselves.
bump
That’s right. And you have to say to your kid, “If anyone ever tells you not to tell me, you HAVE to tell me immediately.”
And if anyone touches you on any part that your swimming suit covers, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME.
And then, you don’t let your kids be alone with any men. Period. Yeah, yeah, I know there are twisted women out there, but they don’t have an appendage that wants to get stuck places it doesn’t belong.
Oh and another real simple rule that keeps things straight: NO SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE.
I agree, Yldstrk! I started talking with my kids about things like this when they were around three. I know a lot of people may think, “A three year old isn’t going to understand this” but he did. A few months after our initial talk, he was being examined by his pediatrician (I was right in the room). The doctor felt his lower abdomen and my son started to yell, “BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!”. The pediatrician praised me and him for understanding this. As for “secrets”, I have always discouraged them. I don’t know how many times I knew what my birthday present or Christmas present would be... once someone said, “This is a secret, okay?”... they came home and told me immediately. I didn’t then negate the action at all. I thanked them for telling me and told them they did absolutely the right thing. As they mature, they can figure out one secret vs another... but not when they are little. IMHO.
Sandusky is alleged to have committed absolutely heinous acts, the discussion here is what can we do to ensure that we never, ever look the other way again?
Now let me save you the time of writing a response: Paterno, Paterno, Paterno, Paterno.....
The alarming question in my mind is, "How long before other Pedophiles discovered what Sandusky was doing with First Mile?" This foundation has been in existance since 1977. Now that we know how Sandusky treated it, we know that there were no internal safeguards.
How true, how true.
Almost everything that is wrong with society is based on a complete lack of respect for sexual intimacy.
This is a great article from a man who knows exactly what should happen to protect a boy.
The best advice is to be morally clear: the perp (no matter how much you might have loved and respected him) belongs in jail; the child is innocent. Keeping your emotions under control, reassuring the boy he is beleived and protected is good. You don’t want to traumatize with the the state you are going to kill the perp even though you may want to.
And the advice to go straight to the police and to get counselors for the boy is great advice as well rather than confronting the perp and the organization is great instruction for parents and even witnesses.
A school teacher who sees a coach molesting a child should call the police before even going to the school administration because the child is at such a disadvantage and needs law enforcement professionals to deal with the problem without everyone being tainted by a CYA, perp loving school administration.
There is no guarentee the school’s leaders are morally clear at all on the subject of homosexual men raping boys; especially teenage boys. They have mostly permitted adult child homosexual clubs in their schools and that right there shows they are a moral and physical danger to boys opening them to the sexual manipulation of grooming in order to please the demands of perverted adults who even want to be in man/boy sex clubs.
Over here. This is a good article for men who protect boys.
¨Coach¨, eh?
Truly disgusting.
Call and email EVERYBODY, and let them all know who else was notified.
This way, from the get-go, all parties know that everything is “on the record” and no coverup is possible.
I agree, SaraJohnson. As parents and grandparents... we simply have to educate ourselves. To me, it isn’t any different than when we would read books about taking care of babies. It is simply an education that we can’t afford to miss. IMHO.
As I posted earlier:
I’m confused by all of this
The man who saw the child being raped should have beaten the crap out of the rapist and rescued the child.
When Paterno found out he should have informed the police and then gone to the hospital and beaten the crap out of the rapist.
As soon as the he got out of the hospital, the child’s male family members should have beaten the crap out of the rapist.
When no one else wanted to beat the crap out of the rapist, he should have been convicted and imprisoned where daily other prisoners would beat the crap out of him.
My view of the reactions to this disgusting crime is a severe lack of testosterone
Here's a funny story. My wife was spec ed teacher. One 2nd grader started missing school. Got back to the school the father was using his son to deliver drugs on his bike, why the boy was missing so much school. Wife called the local social services agency like she was advised. They claimed they couldn't do anything, low priority, that sort of thing. Then she called the local police dept. They parked out in front of the dad's house. Finally, dad came out to see what the problem was and cops told him they weren't leaving until his kid was back in school, ha ha. Kid never missed anymore school that year.
ping
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