Posted on 12/28/2010 7:18:34 AM PST by Kaslin
In my previous column, I offered an answer to the question: What do men want?
I made the case that what men most want from the woman they love is to be admired.
If my answer is correct, and if we presume that the natures of men and women are complementary (a presumption many men and women understandably doubt given how often men and women do not get along), what women most want must be related to that which men most want.
I believe it is.
What a woman most wants is to be loved by a man she admires.
I am well aware that to say this today is akin to announcing that the sun revolves around the Earth. For half a century, we have been told that what women most want is professional success and equality. And to the extent that a modern "liberated" woman does admit to wanting a man to love, she will say that she wants a "partner" who is her "equal." And girls and women have been told -- or, more accurately, have had drummed into them -- that equality means that both sexes are essentially the same (except for the physical differences) and therefore want the same things. Equality and sameness have been rendered synonymous. That is why she cannot say -- and ideally wouldn't even admit to herself -- that she wants a man to admire; that would be "sexist," as it would imply an unequal relationship.
The notion that a woman most wants a man, admirable or not, has been scoffed at. This was encapsulated by the famous feminist slogan "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Even feminism that did not agree with the fish-bicycle metaphor communicated to young women that an "authentic" woman would not have as her greatest desire to bond with a man.
Today, feminism holds less appeal for young women than it did for the previous generation, but "equality" remains the liberal god of the day. That renders my theory -- that a woman wants to be cherished by a man she admires -- politically incorrect in the extreme.
It is problematic enough to say that a woman most wants a man. But that pales compared to the claim that she most wants a man whom she admires. That seems to affirm gender inequality. The image it conjures up is of a woman looking up to her man as if he were some sort of lord and she his serf.
Yet, any woman who believes that she is married to an admirable man would laugh at such a dismissal. Admiring one's husband doesn't render a woman a serf. It renders her fortunate.
The truth is that almost nothing -- including job success -- elevates a woman in her own eyes as much as being loved by a husband whom she admires. That is why when married women get together, they don't talk about their jobs nearly as much as men do. They talk, among other things, about their man if they are proud of him, and complain about him if they are not. Even most feminists are happiest when married to a man they admire.
And what is it that women most admire in a man? From decades of talking to women on the radio and, of course, from simply living life, I have concluded that an admirable man is one who has three qualities: strength, integrity and ambition.
All three are needed. Strength without integrity is machismo. Integrity without strength or without ambition is a milquetoast. And ambition without integrity is a successful crook.
Women are drawn to strong men. Though many men, when asked the secret to their long marriage, answer, "I learned to always say, 'Yes, Dear,'" the truth is that most women are not attracted to "Yes, Dear" men who always give in to a woman's whim. They are attracted to a man who exhibits strength in the outer world and at home as husband and father.
But that strength must come with integrity. If it doesn't, he is a strong bad man. And while more than a few women fall for bad men (precisely because of the power of masculine strength to attract women), most women do not want such a man over the long run.
And ambition does not mean that he is necessarily rich, but that he is a hard worker who wants to improve himself; plenty of men who earn relatively little are admired and loved by their wives. That is why a major "turn-off" to most women is a husband who sits and watches television all night (let alone all day).
The beauty of all this is that it all comes together for men, for women and for society.
Women get what they want most: to be married to and loved by a man they admire. Men then attain what they want most: to be admired by the woman they love. And society gets the thing it most needs: admirable men.
Unfortunately, none of this is taught at college.
Almost like torture, in a sense, but the real question isn't what women want but what is it women DON'T want? It seems simple really but where one really can't make a sensible list of things women DO want one can instantly compile a LONG list of things women DON'T want. Primarily, to be alone. To have no one to talk to. So men and women aren't really all THAT different when you get down to it.
I’ll get torched, but it seems to me MOST modern American women, don’t want to work (but do want to live in luxury), don’t want to spend too much time raising their kids, don’t want to maintain themselves (after marriage) and don’t want to have sex after their kids are born.
If you are a woman, and aren’t like this, and you can read, you’ll notice the word MOST is capitalized. I know you may not be this way, and congratulations, but most of the women I know are. Most. It’s a word that means something, so if you are offended, it’s probably because you are more like this than you know.
Everything
next question ?
A woman wants her own way.
And a man wants it always.
Yeehaw!
I see that there are more than the 3 words I pointed out, but it still says "Your desire will be for your husband's dominion over you" to me.
If there is a man who actually rules over his wife, I haven't met him. As for women who desire their husband's dominion over them, I meet them all the time.
Scroll down.
I have no clue but its been enjoyable reading everyones posts.
A man was on a boat that capsized in the sea. Alhamdulillah the waves cast him up on a desert island. After months of loneliness, a beautiful colored bottle washed up on the beach. The man picked it up and caressed it, admiring its beauty, until a genie came out in a puff of smoke.
“Thank you for releasing me from my prison,” the genie said. “I grant you any wish you like. I can’t do magic, but I’m very strong and wise.”
“Wonderful,” the man said. “Build me a bridge back to my country so I can return home.”
“Oh, come on,” the genie said. “Do you have any idea what a massive engineering feat that would be? There’s not enough steel or stone in the world for that. I’m just a simple genie. Wish for something realistic.”
“Okay then,” the man said. “I wish to understand the mind of a woman.”
“Alright,” said the genie, sighing. “Did you want a suspension bridge, cable bridge, or arch bridge?”
Ok, let's do it the hard way, then:
וְאֶל־אִישֵׁךְ תְּשׁוּקָתֵךְ
"And toward your man (husband) (shall be) your desire"
The pronoun "your" here is unmistakably feminine, and the copula "shall be" is understood, as is normal in Hebrew.
וְהוּא יִמְשָׁל־בָּֽךְ
"And he shall rule over you"
You see, the second clause starts with a conjunction just like the first one, which means that it is a separate statement in parataxis with the first one. Besides that, the second has its own subject and verb. The verb is obviously a qal imperfect indicative, not a noun, and the subject is the pronoun "he". "Over you(f)" is an adverbial.
If something like "his rulership" was intended as the object of "desire", I expect it would be considered a definite direct object, and as such it would need the direct object marker, which isn't there.
(I'm no Gesenius, but I get by.)
What do men want? Remember the old movie, “The Stepford Wives” where the husband were replacing their human wives with compliant androids? That sounds great.
Sorry, but I'm not the only one who sees it that way.
As I said earlier. I haven't yet met a man who ruled over his wife and I haven't yet met a woman who didn't desire her husband's authority over her. The ultimate test for me is how Scripture matches up with reality. Your interpretation doesn't match reality. Mine does.
The last word is key, and is the foundation of the socialist assault on our society. Look at popular entertainment -- it does everything it can to mock and belittle husbands and men in general. The key to destroying relationships is to undermine women's respect for men.
Women tend to be hypergamous (desiring the best man available). What poisons a relationship is the woman deciding that she can do better (Her circle of "supportive" friends has a lot to do with this).
I've seen it with many of my friends, with the wife dumping her husband to chase after the "bigger better deal". Sometimes she is successful. Sometimes she fails and winds up alone with her cats.
It's more complicated than that. A woman wants to be secure, but if she feels her man is with her only because he can't do better, her feelings turn into contempt. To preserve the relationship, the wife needs to feel that she's got a good guy, and she better work at keeping him.
Costello: When I get married, I'm going to marry a plain woman.
Abbot: Why not a pretty woman?
C: A pretty woman might leave me.
A: A plain woman might leave you too!
C: Yeah, but who cares?
I saw a very funny poster a number of years back:
A woman's place is in bed or at the sink ---
And the limits of her travels should be from one to the other and back.
Not that I agree with it, but I did think it was funny ---
I’m not so sure you’re making an opposing argument.
When a women begins to conclude she’s married to a contemptible man, she simultaneously loses that feeling of security.
So, I still say the main component of what women want is security.
When a women begins to conclude
should be:
When a woman begins to conclude
Hey, thanks for the link! I was wondering where I could get a Hebrew/Greek cross reference to look at the original textual meanings.
I did notice something funny in one of the definitions of the Hebrew word for “desire” - the craving of a beast to devour.
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