FReeper Canteen - Christmas Cheer - 23 Dec 2010

A resipte place for our troops, vets, military families & all who love & support them! | The Canteen Christmas Crew

[AZamericonnie]

~Holiday Cheer~

Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age, and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.

In each card he wrote, "Buy your own present!" and mailed them early.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.

A Letter To Santa From Mom--

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

What To Give An Optimist And A Pessimist--

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, at Christmas time their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

*Christmas in the Military*

*Christmas For Our Military*

*Remember Our Troops This Christmas Season*

*Santa Claus.Com*

*Elf Yourself*

[luvie]

Happy Christmas Eve Eve, Early Birds!
Hope it goes well for ya
and you all stay warm & don't work too hard! :)

[ConorMacNessa]

Good morning, Love!

*HUGS*

Merry pre-Christmas to you!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[E.G.C.]

((HUGS))Good morning, LUV W. How’s it going?

[NRA1995]

My best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all you Canteeners!

[beachn4fun]

Merry Christmas, Luvy Hope you have a wonderful holiday.

[SandRat]

(((HUGS)))

[Arrowhead1952]

Good morning to everyone at the Canteen.

[PROCON]

Morning Beachie!!

I am doing much better, thank you. I actually finished all my shopping the other day and am just relaxing for the rest of the week.

You still going to have a white Christmas? Any last minute shopping?

I hope your day is blessed!

[PROCON]

Hey Navy Bro!

Long time, no see; you all recovered and running marathons yet? Glad to see you back in the Canteen!

How long you off for?

Merry Christmas!

[ConorMacNessa]

Hi, Army Bro! I'm at work today - will take off tomorrow then back to work Monday. Doing pretty well - the staples come out later today.

How did your surgery go?

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[MS.BEHAVIN]

!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can you be back at work so soon after your knee replacement?????

[caww]

Awesome video .....couple hankies is a good thing :)

[PROCON]

Good news and good luck on your recovery!

My surgery went well; they were able to do the surgery laproscopically (sp?), so just 3 small holes in my abdomen. I'm up and around and will return to work on Monday too.

I'll definately be pulling for Navy tonight in the Poinsettia Bowl!

[ConorMacNessa]

Good morning, Lady Ms. B! Nice to see you today. They had me out of bed the day after surgery and in PT the day after that. Since it was my left knee, I can drive. Using a walker - not sure how long that will continue.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, dear

Merry Christmas

[beachn4fun]

Be careful with the PT. I believe that is what messed up my BIL’s knee (he had to have surgery 2x).

[beachn4fun]

Howdy, Pro

Glad to hear that you are resting.

Done shopping as well. Only going to stop at grocery store and pick up things for the weekend.

Don’t expect to have a white Christmas. Storm system is coming in maybe Sunday. With the jet stream so far down I expect the storm to pass over the ocean. So much wind and cold pushing down from the North.

I’m off all next week, so wouldn’t have to worry about the roads. LOL

Have a wonderful, relaxing day and I see you in the morning.

HUGS

[MS.BEHAVIN]

*HUG*
just be careful not to overdo it, okay?

[HiJinx]

Yippee, MA gets to play today!!

I can’t, but am going to sneak in from time to time, anyway.

The great ladies in our offices are making the rounds today with Christmas goodies. I’ve already been given a nutbread and fudge brownies. Nana says I’m in for a tough time, come the First. I guess she thinks we’re going on a diet, or something!

[HiJinx]

We're waiting for that CA storm to make its way to the East Coast.

We had a few thousandths of an inch of rain overnight - it's headed your way now. Somehow, I don't think it's going to get there in time for Christmas...