FReeper Canteen - Christmas Cheer - 23 Dec 2010

A resipte place for our troops, vets, military families & all who love & support them! | The Canteen Christmas Crew

[AZamericonnie]

~Holiday Cheer~

Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age, and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.

In each card he wrote, "Buy your own present!" and mailed them early.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.

A Letter To Santa From Mom--

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

What To Give An Optimist And A Pessimist--

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, at Christmas time their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

*Christmas in the Military*

*Christmas For Our Military*

*Remember Our Troops This Christmas Season*

*Santa Claus.Com*

*Elf Yourself*

[NYTexan]

Thanks LS

BBH

What’s on the menu?

[MEG33]

Yes you do..and I appreciate your sweet comments.
I know you are busy, busy..I am going to bake a cake at this late hour..I had better get busy!
(((HUGS)))

[AZamericonnie]

Hiya Luvie...I hit the ‘runners’ wall of threads & couldn’t think of a darn thing for content! LOL

Are your feeties holding up? You haven’t shot any shoppers yet?:) *hugs*

[luvie]

Waaaaaahhh!

Though, it was nice to be thought of when you ate your
wonderful lobstah! :)

[MS.BEHAVIN]

I’m still kinda mulling over the menu..
Might just do lots of finger foods..
Might set it up like a mini smorgasbord..

[luvie]

Waaaaaahhh!

Though, it was nice to be thought of when you ate your
wonderful lobstah! :)

[MS.BEHAVIN]

it was delicious!
gonna simmer dem lobstah bodies for a nice base for lobster bisque!

[potlatch]

Merry Christmas to you too TAS. I am neglecting many pings from friends here, have just been so busy and snowed under.

[mylife]

Sorry you have to work the holidays.
Bisque sounds like a fine way to stretch out the celebration!

[luvie]

Hi-D OT! I M OK! Feets kinda sore and temper kinda short.

Other than that...I’m just dandy! LOL! I have been pacing
myself so as to not get frustrated. It helps some! :)

[TASMANIANRED]

Stunningly beautiful...

[potlatch]

[Nice to see you in the Canteen! ]

Lol, my friend, I think you suspected I didn’t know ‘where I was’, lolol. JustAmy’s and the FReeper Canteen - friends all!!

Hugs back attcha.

[TASMANIANRED]

It’s not shiny.

[NYTexan]

YUM! Lol

Do the dogs get a special meal?

[luvie]

Well, ya did good...the stories you chose were really cute!

Feeties are getting tiredie...and I am just glad I don’t have
a license to carry. LOL! Two. More. Days! :)

[potlatch]

Hugs back Meg. I am taking a break this evening. Good luck with your cake.

[mylife]

Hope you got some dry sherry to add to dat.

[AZamericonnie]

I hope you have just enough snow to make your Christmas bright but not so much to make Moxie mad!:)

[NYTexan]

Cranky are ya?

[TASMANIANRED]

That isn’t so bad.

I’ll have to miss my family’s gathering due to work.