Posted on 02/26/2010 4:14:11 AM PST by Kaslin
Fox is having its usual smash with "American Idol," with this season's latest offering beating the Winter Olympics in the ratings. Paula Abdul walked off in a money dispute, Ellen DeGeneres is unexpectedly flat, and the show overall is starting to sag, but it's still just about the best thing on TV. Now there's a buzz about the best judge, Simon Cowell, leaving after this season.
Cowell is constantly booed and attacked as the nasty judge, the one who crushes young singers' dreams with his patented cutting remarks. It's also true that he is painfully honest.
Almost every "Idol" watcher looks forward to hearing Cowell offer those blunt and honest opinions every bit as much -- or even more than -- the actual performances. The other night, he responded to boos after one stinging analysis by shooting back at the audience, "I'm only saying what you're thinking." That's instantly a classic line, and very true.
It's common now to hear viewers suggest they might just stop watching the show once Cowell is gone, that the quality of the judging just will not be the same. That is definitely true if one believes the rumors circulating about the sewer where Fox is fishing for Simon Cowell replacements.
First, news reports surfaced that Fox was considering the has-been satellite radio shock jock Howard Stern to be a judge. "Yeah, I would do that show for $100 million," he said on his XM/Sirius radio program. "I can't imagine anyone else but me replacing him. ... How else are they going to make that show work?"
This Stern idea would go over like a lead balloon with parents who like "Idol" as family entertainment.
Most recently, Stern told "American Idol" Season Three winner Fantasia Barrino that she wasn't succeeding in the music business because she didn't sexually arouse teenage boys: "Hey, Fantasia, you're not getting little boys (aroused). Nobody's (masturbating) to you. You look like you stepped out of a cartoon."
A few weeks ago, Stern (age 55) wondered out loud which Disney teen favorite would provide better oral sex: Miley Cyrus (age 17) or Taylor Swift (20). Stern and his friend "Pittsburgh Pete" marveled over Cyrus' "natural" breasts. The comments spilled out on a YouTube video, but Stern supporters got it yanked.
A more common Stern segment is the porn-star interview. Stern's website highlights a recent chat with Taryn Thomas, a porn star in an X-rated parody of the MTV reality show "Jersey Shore." They discussed how Thomas had to take a two-year sabbatical from porn after her intestines were "torn open" in an anal-sex scene. Stern could only announce that the man who ripped the woman's bowels must have been proud of himself. "I've never hurt a woman with my penis. I've tried. It just doesn't work," he lamented.
Before his satellite show, his over-the-air show had lowlights like this one. "Have you ever had sex with an animal?" Stern wondered. "Don't knock it. I was sodomized by (the sock puppet) Lamb Chop."
And Fox had "no comment" about the prospect of hiring this man.
There are more fish flapping around at the bottom of this barrel. The scurrilous gossip blogger Perez Hilton -- who's echoed Stern by calling himself "Queen of All Media" -- begged for the job on MTV News. "Basically, I'm shamelessly looking for work. I'm available and I'm cheap."
Hilton is best known as the beauty-contest judge who ruined Carrie Prejean's chances at the Miss USA pageant by demanding she endorse gay marriage as the price of the crown. "She lost, not because she doesn't believe in gay marriage, Miss California lost because she's a dumb (B-word), okay?" The next day, Hilton issued a fake apology: "I was thinking the c-word and I didn't say it."
Hilton prides himself on being a "dangerous" figure of controversy. "I'm dangerous because I have no censor button and I speak the truth. And people are afraid of the truth." This is a rather ridiculous claim for a gossip who loves to draw vile sexual objects around the faces and crotches of celebrities on his blog. He drew a penis on a photo of Prejean holding a microphone.
He recently boasted of his newest blog obsession -- a large, fat, white man exposing himself in women's clothing: "(Wo)Man, an amazing wannabe tranny, who enjoys riding his banana seat around Beverly Hills with his banana out!"
Simon Cowell has that endearing kind of "meanness," the kind that comes with a wink. Howard Stern and Perez Hilton have persistently demonstrated that their nastiness is real and unmitigated by any notion of decency. If Fox wants to take an ax to the golden goose of "American Idol," putting either of these men in front of millions of families as judges on this program would be just the place to start.
If it is then there doesn't seem to be any reason to own a TV anymore.
I saw Carrie Underwood twice in Nashville. Once immediately following her idol win and then a year later. She is phenomenal. A real powerhouse.
To me, the best talent to come out of a lame show.
Agree.
How many times have you watched Idol? Your condescension could mean you’ve never really watched and probably don’t understand, like liberals who criticize Rush but have never really listened.
Idol should be approved by conservatives because it is about America at a very basic level...... personal responsibility, desire to suceed and excellence. There is a democratic element in that the eventual winner must truly excel and convince enough folks to provide roughly 18,000,000 votes within just over 2 hours.
It is about wackos who have no real talent but do have enough motivation to escape the bounds of opinion and put it all on the line just to see.
It is about some genuinely talented people who strive for excellence and gain a fantastic opportunity to rub shoulders with the most talented artists, managers, and producers in the country.
Idol is about being an American, taking a chance, seizing an opportunity and running with it. I suppose that among some stuffy types it is fashionable to put Idol down but to do so is to miss observing real America very close up.
Idol is perhaps the best rated show on TV. It has maintained the support of Ford Motor Co, Coca Cola Co and AT&T, all American giants who do not throw away money. They continue to sponsor Idol because it is pure Americana There is a live FRee Republic thread that follows the success and failure with wit and applause and scorn. (and pure fun)
At the most basic, on the surface, Idol is pop culture with a lot of hype. Just under the surface though, one can observe the depth and theory applied to being a star performing singer.
This year the girls are great, the boys are mediocre. There will be a star emerging from the girls
Idol is a singing contest
And the contestants must work, very hard, especially after the first auditions, with the Idol supplied coaches and even each other. The pressure is intense and increased by a terrific pace. The change is visible as those who were nervous and fearful work with professionals and gain confidence and skill.
I have long thought that the public voting for American Idol is manipulated to boost ratings.
Call me old school, jaded, just plain old, whatever. But I have played with people far more talented than any of those you mention. The thing they lacked was a lame tv show, huge dollars, tours related to the lame tv show, professional songwriters, stylists, and the mega-apparatus of a star making machine.
Idol makes me barf.
My wife loves it, though.
You know, it’s the old “one man’s garbage is another man’s art” thing, I guess.;)
We didn't have cable. Then they changed to digital transmission. We didn't buy a converter.
Now we do a lot more as a family, and enjoy each other's company. We work more in the shop, build electronics gizmos, and make our own stop-motion videos. Some of us are now taking spectacular photographs and working miracles with photoshop. We have engaged Life!
Turn the stupid thing off. It makes an obnoxious sound and interferes with having a real life.
“I can’t believe more people are watching this crap show than the Olympics, but maybe that’s just me. I tried watching one season of Idol and came away convinced it does much more harm than good to American music.”
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I can’t believe it’s outperforming the Olympics, either. The only thing I like about Idol is the very beginning, when these truly horrible people go on—it can be funny. (”Pants on the Ground,” anyone? LOL!)
But when it gets to voting from the public, I find it boring.
Fixed it. :D
Agreed. Stern is a walking, talking sewer whose shtick appeals to wanabee sluts and impotent men..............
Absolutely correct. Simon is an expert at musician discovery. That twerp Secrest makes me sick the way he baits him. Patty LaBelle recently called them all out, said Simon is the only one who knows what he is doing. Said Randy is a has-been bass player for Journey, Ellen is a some time comedian and Kara is...what? Simon probably has to take a shower when he gets home. Now they are griping about his quarters on the set. Apparently he has a 2 story trailer in the parking lot that was once ownerd by Will Smith. Simon is a billionaire for crying out loud, earned in the music business. Can’t wait for The X Factor to start.
LOL!!
The Stern rumor is the only one that bothers me though, just because Idol's response to it is so vague.
They may be keeping the rumor alive to make Tommy Mottola (zzzzzz) look good by comparison.
The OLympics are actually beating AI in the ratings. Eight of the top ten programs were Olympics. American Idol came in seventh and eighth. It was the first time American Idol has been beaten in several years.
CC
Maybe they should have a bunch of people audition to replace Simon, and let Simon decide.
I agree with your comment about moral superiority. But, I was thinking more about how "moral" he comes across on the show compared to how Stern would come across if he were allowed to be "himself."
I know nothing about Cowell's life outside the show, but on the show he's decent and all that's all that matters to me when I watch it.
By golly, I could not have put it any better.
Well said.
And to make matters worse, when they finally do get to Simon, you have to wade through the boos of the crowd and smarmy remarks from Seacrest to make out what he says.
Well said.
I agree, most of this years contestants are talentless and very boring. Ellen Degenerate is lame, why even have the fourth judge? When Simon Cowell leaves I will too.
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