Posted on 02/17/2010 8:23:16 AM PST by conservativegirl
Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.
The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Well played.
Still funny though. It's a timeless classic.
Except for Constitutionite. When exposed to Constitutionite Pelosium dissolves in to an unidentifiable mass of Goo.
Too funny.
A combination of Pelosium and morons along with isodopes working together is actually what caused Global Warming.
Isn’t it misspelled? S/B pelosisdum.
IT IS THE MAIN ELEMENT FOUND IN THE MINERAL COPOLITE...............(look it up)............
COPROLITE...........Bad keyboard.............
Thanks. Pretty funny. I hadn’t previously seen this.
Moronium and Pelosium are the same thing.
In effect, an "atomic facelift".
That’s fine, but can you account for botox interactions with Pelosium?
Such interactions could speed the formation of a Bose-Einstein Condensate when temperatures approach absolute zero.
I tried to name one of my bands The Coprolites. But when the other guys found out what it meant, they nixed the idea. No sense of humor! They wouldn’t go for The Road Apples either.
Thanks for the laugh!
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