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Best of Best for 2009 (thus far)
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Posted on 12/24/2009 6:41:16 AM PST by Georgia1

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says," What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 2009review; bartender; dontstop; dontstopreposting; iq; keepretelling; obama; oldjokes; repeatthisjoke; repostthis; robot; samejokeoverandover
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To: Lazamataz
Comon you guys! It's Christmas!

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”

81 posted on 12/24/2009 7:34:17 AM PST by Poser (Enjoying Prime Rib for 58 Years!)
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To: DesertSapper

-1


82 posted on 12/24/2009 7:34:58 AM PST by don-o (My son, Ben - Marine Lance Corporal is in Iraq.)
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To: IYAS9YAS
For our terrorist friends: الرجل يذهب إلى حانة ، وهناك نادل الروبوت. الروبوت يقول : "ماذا لديك؟" والرجل يقول : "مارتيني". الروبوت يعيد مارتيني أفضل من أي وقت مضى ، وتقول للرجل ، "ما هو معدل الذكاء الخاص بك؟" والرجل يقول : "168". الروبوت ثم تنتقل إلى الحديث عن الفيزياء ، واستكشاف الفضاء والتكنولوجيا الطبية. ويترك الرجل ، إلا أنه من الغريب ، وذلك يعود إلى شريط. ونادل الروبوت يقول : "ماذا لديك؟" والرجل يقول : "مارتيني". مرة أخرى ، يجعل من الروبوت مارتيني كبيرة ، ويعطيها للرجل ويقول : "ما هو معدل الذكاء الخاص بك؟" والرجل يقول : "100". الروبوت ثم يبدأ الحديث عن ناسكار ، بدويايزر وجون دير الجرارات. ويترك الرجل ، ولكنه يرى أنها مثيرة جدا للاهتمام ، لذلك فهو يعتقد انه سيكون محاولة واحدة لمزيد من الوقت. إنه يعود إلى شريط. الروبوت يقول : "ماذا لديك؟" والرجل يقول : "مارتيني" ، ويجلب له روبوت آخر مارتيني كبيرة. الروبوت ثم يقول : "ما هو معدل الذكاء الخاص بك؟" والرجل يقول : "آه ، على بعد حوالى 50". الروبوت يميل في وثيقة حقيقية
83 posted on 12/24/2009 7:37:04 AM PST by Lazamataz (DEFINITION: rac-ist (rA'sis't) 1. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal about any topic.)
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To: don-o

Everything is funnier in comic sans ms.


84 posted on 12/24/2009 7:37:38 AM PST by Poser (Enjoying Prime Rib for 58 Years!)
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To: Lazamataz

There are only 10 kinds of people...those who know binary, and those who don’t!


85 posted on 12/24/2009 7:37:51 AM PST by PreciousLiberty (In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're not.)
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To: dfwgator

yuG seog otni a ,rab s’ereht a tobor .rednetrab ehT tobor ,syas tahW“ lliw uoy ”?evah ehT yug ,syas ”.initraM“ ehT tobor sgnirb kcab eht tseb initram reve dna syas ot eht ,nam s’tahW“ ruoy ”?QI ehT yug ,syas .”861“ ehT tobor neht sdeecorp ot klat tuoba ,scisyhp ecaps noitarolpxe dna lacidem .ygolonhcet ehT yug ,sevael tub eh si ,suoiruc os eh seog kcab otni eht .rab ehT tobor rednetrab ”,syas tahW lliw uoy ”?evah ehT yug ,syas .”initraM“ ,niagA eht tobor sekam a taerg ,initram sevig ti ot eht nam dna ,syas s’tahW“ ruoy ”?QI ehT yug ,syas ”.001“ ehT tobor neht strats ot klat tuoba ,RACSAN resiewduB dna nhoJ ereeD .srotcart ehT yug ,sevael tub sdnif ti yrev ,gnitseretni os eh skniht eh lliw yrt ti eno erom .emit eH seog kcab otni eht .rab ehT tobor ,syas tahW“ lliw uoy ”?evah ehT yug ,syas ,”initraM“ dna eht tobor sgnirb mih rehtona taerg .initram ehT tobor neht ,syas s’tahW“ ruoy ”?QI ehT yug ,syas ,hU“ tuoba ”.05 ehT tobor snael ni laer esolc dna ,syas ,oS“ uoy elpoep llits yppah uoy detov rof ”?amabO


86 posted on 12/24/2009 7:37:54 AM PST by Lazamataz (DEFINITION: rac-ist (rA'sis't) 1. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal about any topic.)
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To: Lazamataz
   So this robot goes into a bar and is astonished to find that Obama is tending bar. So the bartender says "Hey man! A robot! What's your IQ?"

  The robot answers "about 168."

  "That's just great says the bartender. You're almost as smart as me! What do you robots talk about at the Mensa meetings?"

  The robot head spins several times, then faces the youthful US President bartender. "Oh.. we talk about you, the Democrat Congress, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid... and we just laugh and laugh and laugh..."
87 posted on 12/24/2009 7:38:03 AM PST by Maurice Tift (You can't stop the signal, Mal. You can never stop the signal.)
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To: Lazamataz

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”


88 posted on 12/24/2009 7:38:13 AM PST by CJ Wolf
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To: savedbygrace
This is how they tell it in Bangalore: आदमी एक बार में चला जाता है, वहाँ एक रोबोट बारटेन्डर है. रोबोट कहते हैं, तुम क्या होगा, "?" आदमी कहता है, ". मार्टिनी" रोबोट वापस सर्वश्रेष्ठ मार्टिनी कभी लाता है और आदमी के लिए कहते हैं, "क्या तुम्हारी? बुद्धि है" आदमी कहता है, "168". रोबोट फिर भौतिक विज्ञान के बारे में बात आगम, अंतरिक्ष की खोज और चिकित्सा प्रौद्योगिकी. लड़के के पत्ते, लेकिन वह उत्सुक है, इसलिए वह पट्टी में वापस चला जाता है. रोबोट बारटेन्डर कहते हैं, तुम क्या होगा, "?" आदमी कहता है, "एक प्रकार की बन्दूक '. आदमी को फिर से, रोबोट एक महान मार्टिनी करता है, यह आदमी के लिए देता है और कहता है, "आपकी क्या? बुद्धि है" कहते हैं, "100. रोबोट तो NASCAR, Budweiser और जॉन Deere ट्रैक्टर के बारे में बात शुरू होती है. लड़के के पत्ते, लेकिन पाता है यह बहुत दिलचस्प है, तो वह सोचता है कि वह एक बार फिर कोशिश करेंगे. वह पट्टी में वापस चला जाता है. रोबोट कहते हैं, तुम क्या होगा, "?" आदमी कहता है, "एक प्रकार की बन्दूक", और रोबोट उसे एक और महान मार्टिनी लाता है. रोबोट कहते हैं, तो क्या तुम्हारी बुद्धि है? "आदमी कहता है," 50 के बारे में ओह,. "रोबोट असली पास के leans और कहते हैं," तो, तुम लोगों को अभी भी खुश तुम ओबामा के लिए वोट दिया, "?"
89 posted on 12/24/2009 7:38:57 AM PST by Lazamataz (DEFINITION: rac-ist (rA'sis't) 1. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal about any topic.)
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To: Georgia1

90 posted on 12/24/2009 7:39:13 AM PST by MaryFromMichigan
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To: MaryFromMichigan
Guy goes into a bar, there's a Image and video hosting by TinyPic bartender.

The Image and video hosting by TinyPic says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The Image and video hosting by TinyPic brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The Image and video hosting by TinyPic

91 posted on 12/24/2009 7:41:05 AM PST by don-o (My son, Ben - Marine Lance Corporal is in Iraq.)
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To: MaryFromMichigan

OK! That was funny! LOL


92 posted on 12/24/2009 7:41:32 AM PST by Lazamataz (DEFINITION: rac-ist (rA'sis't) 1. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal about any topic.)
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To: Georgia1

Guy goes into a bar, thar’s a robot bartenner. Th’ robot says, “Whut in tarnation will yo’ have?” Th’ guy says, “Martini.”

Th’ robot brin’s back th’ bess martini evah an’ says t’th’ man, “Whut in tarnation’s yer IQ?” Th’ guy says, “168”. Th’ robot then proceeds t’talk about physics, space splorashun an’ medical technology.

Th’ guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into th’ bar. Th’ robot bartenner says,” Whut in tarnation will yo’ have?” Th’ guy says, “Martini”. Agin, th’ robot makes a great martini, gives it t’th’ man an’ says, “Whut in tarnation’s yer IQ?” Th’ guy says, “100.” Th’ robot then starts t’talk about NASCAR, Budweizzu an’ John-Boy Deere tracko’s.

Th’ guy leaves, but finds it mighty interestin’, so he reckons he will try it one mo’e time. He goes back into th’ bar. Th’ robot says, “Whut in tarnation will yo’ have?” Th’ guy says, “Martini”, an’ th’ robot brin’s him t’other great martini. Th’ robot then says, “Whut in tarnation’s yer IQ?” Th’ guy says, “Uh, about 50.”

Th’ robot leans in real close an’ says, “So, yo’ varmints still happy yo’ voted fo’ Obama?”


93 posted on 12/24/2009 7:42:38 AM PST by Chasaway (Tonto: "What do you mean "We", White Man?")
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To: Lazamataz

guy goes iunto a bar, there’dsa 0rbot bartendwr.. TEH REOVOT SAYS, “WhAT WI7L YPOU aHEV????? ” teh guy saYs,, “mratini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ ” the orbot brings b4X0r teh best martini 3ver aqnd sasy to the man ,“what’Zy or 1q??!? HAX)R YOUUUUUUU CUZ YOU ARE L4ME!!!!!!!!111~ llol~~~~~~ ” teh guy sayS, “168”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ the orbot tehn porceeds to talk aboput phys1cs, sapcee eXplroatio|\| and medical t3chnolgo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ THE GGUY 7EAVEZ, BUYT HE SI CURIOUZ, sO HE GO3S BAX0RI NTO TEH BAR Rrthe oorbot bartendra sayz,” what will ypou ahve!?!??!?!? ” te guy sayz, “/\/\artini”!!!!!!!!!!!!11 again, teh robot amkes a gRate martinI, givEs It to teh maN and says, “what’S yor iq??????????????!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????? ” the guy sayuz, “100 ” rthe fobot thens tArtz t0 talk about nascar, budwies4r and john deere travctro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thde guy leaves, but findz it v4ry intaresting, so he thinkz he will try it One mroe tim3. LOLOLO he goez abXr0 into the bar. oololoololol... the orbto says, “\\\\////\\\\////hat wi7l you have????? come2 my ftp beciuz I will AHCK ” the gyu says, “Martini”, andt hwe orbot brings him aonth3r grate amrtini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 teh robo tthen ssys, ““what’ yuor 1q!?!???!? ” the fguy asys, “uh, about 50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ ” th eorbot leans ion real close and sayz, s“0, y0u lamerzs tIll happy u voted fro obam??!?!?!?!? ”a


94 posted on 12/24/2009 7:44:34 AM PST by Chasaway (Tonto: "What do you mean "We", White Man?")
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To: Georgia1

Pardon me, I speak Jive:

Guy goes into some bar, deres some robot bartender. Ah be baaad... De robot says, What gots’ta ya’ gots’?” De guy says, Martini. Ya’ know?” De robot brin’s back de best martini eva’ and says t’de man, Whats yo’ IQ?” De guy says, 168”. De robot den proceeds t’rap about physics, space ‘esplo’ashun and medical technology. Slap mah fro! De guy leaves, but he be curious, so’s he goes back into de bar. Ah be baaad... De robot bartenda’ says,” What gots’ta ya’ gots’?” De guy says, Martini. Again, de robot makes some great martini, gives it t’de dude and says, Whats yo’ IQ?” De guy says, 100.” De robot den starts t’rap about NASCAR, Budweisa’ and Raz’tus Deere tracto’s. De guy leaves, but finds it real interestin’, so’s he dinks he gots’ta try it one mo’e time. What it is, Mama! He goes back into de bar. Ah be baaad... De robot says, What gots’ta ya’ gots’?” De guy says, Martini, and da damn robot brin’s him anoda’ great martini. Ya’ know? De robot den says, Whats yo’ IQ?” De guy says, Uh, about 50.” De robot leans in real close and says, So, ya’ sucka’s still happy ya’ voted fo’ Obama?”


95 posted on 12/24/2009 7:45:00 AM PST by dfwgator
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To: Chasaway

Guy fer inn á bar, there ‘a vélmenni bartender.
Það vélmenni segir, “Hvað hefur þú?” The strákur segir, “Martini.” The robot koma aftur best Martini alltaf og segir að maðurinn, “What’s your IQ þitt?” The strákur segir, “168”. The vélmenni hagnaði þá að tala um eðlisfræði, rúm kanna og læknisfræðileg tækni.

The strákur leyfi, en hann er forvitinn, svo fer hann aftur inn á bar. The vélmenni bartender segir, “Hvað hefur þú?” The strákur segir, “Martini”. Again, the robot bráðabirgða-a mikill Martini, gefur það til mannsins og segir, “What’s your IQ þitt?” The strákur segir, “100”. The vélmenni þá byrjar að tala um NASCAR, Budweiser og John Deere dráttarvélar.

The strákur leyfi, en finnur það mjög áhugavert, svo heldur hann að hann mun reyna það einu sinni enn. Hann fer aftur inn á bar. The vélmenni segir, “Hvað hefur þú?” The strákur segir, “Martini”, og vélmenni koma honum annar mikill Martini. The vélmenni segir þá, “What’s IQ þitt?” The strákur segir, “Uh, um 50.” The robot leans í raun loka og segir, “Svo þú fólk enn hamingjusamur þú kusu Obama?”


96 posted on 12/24/2009 7:47:52 AM PST by Lazamataz (DEFINITION: rac-ist (rA'sis't) 1. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal about any topic.)
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To: Maurice Tift

Guy papunta sa isang bar, may isang robot bartender.
Robot Ang nagsasabing, “Ano ang gagawin mo?” Guy Ang nagsasabing, “Martini.” Robot Ang Pinagsasama-back ang pinakamahusay na Martini kailanman at ang sabi sa mga tao, “Ano ang inyong IQ?” Guy Ang nagsasabing, “168”. Ang mga robot at pagkatapos ay nalikom na makipag-usap tungkol sa physics, puwang sa pagsaliksik at medikal na teknolohiya.

Guy Ang mga dahon, ngunit siya ay kakaiba, kaya siya mapupunta pabalik sa bar. Ang mga robot bartender nagsasabing, “Ano ang gagawin mo?” Guy Ang nagsasabing, “Martini”. Muli, ang mga robot ay gumagawa ng isang magandang Martini, nagbibigay ito sa tao at nagsasabing, “Ano ang inyong IQ?” Guy Ang nagsasabing, “100.” Robot Ang pagkatapos ay magsisimula na makipag-usap tungkol sa NASCAR, Budweiser at John Deere tractors.

Guy Ang mga dahon, ngunit hahanap ito tunay kawili-wili, kaya siya thinks siya ay subukin ito ng isa pang oras. Siya ang papunta sa likod ng bar. Robot Ang nagsasabing, “Ano ang gagawin mo?” Guy Ang nagsasabing, “Martini”, at robot ang magbibigay sa kanya ng isa pang malaking Martini. Ang mga robot at pagkatapos ay sinabi, “Ano ang inyong IQ?” Guy Ang nagsasabing, “Uh, tungkol sa 50.” Robot Ang leans sa real close at nagsasabing, “Kaya, ikaw pa rin ang mga tao na masaya ka bumoto para sa Obama?”


97 posted on 12/24/2009 7:49:23 AM PST by Lazamataz (DEFINITION: rac-ist (rA'sis't) 1. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal about any topic.)
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To: Georgia1

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close, throws the martini in the guy’s face and says, “You idiot Obama voters have destroyed the country!!!!”


98 posted on 12/24/2009 7:50:31 AM PST by advance_copy (Stand for life or nothing at all)
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To: Georgia1

This version is also funny:

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.


99 posted on 12/24/2009 7:50:36 AM PST by doubleA
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To: doubleA; Georgia1

Welcome to Free Republic. We kid around sometimes - helps keep us semi-sane

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.


100 posted on 12/24/2009 7:54:00 AM PST by don-o (My son, Ben - Marine Lance Corporal is in Iraq.)
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