Joel Osteen Heresy Gauge

What?..Um theological satire ^ | August 6, 2007 | Seth

[Alex Murphy]

How to determine when Joel Osteen is speaking heresy:

[mbraynard]

Heheh. You prots really dislike these guys, eh?

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

Have RCers embraced him?

[AxelPaulsenJr]

Yup, kinda like the way you caths dislike wayward priests.

[Ann Archy]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....he seems like a FRAUD!!!

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

I agree.

[The Unknown Republican]

Fantastic! This man has no business preaching “The Gospel”.

Wait...that is exactly his “business”.

Osteen makes me physically ill when I mistakenly happen upon him speaking. My Savior...the Lord Jesus Christ...will never know this heretic.

[AxelPaulsenJr]

Wow, someone got up today on the wrong side of the army cot.

[T Baden]

Christian pastors preach “Christ and Him crucified.” Joel Osteen seems to preach “Joel Osteen and him glorified.” When Joel preaches about Christ, he often says Jesus is an example for us, not our Savior. Hence the hesitancy on the part of many traditional Christians to jump aboard the Osteen bandwagon.

[Nosterrex]

He is a heretic according traditional or classical Christianity. The problem with many Christians is that they have no understanding of historic Christianity. They think that the Gospel started with them. What Christians have believed, taught, and confessed for two thousand years means absolutely nothing. The current non-historic Christian is simply moralistic, therapeutic, deism (MTD). The god of Osteen exists to make you feel good about yourself is little more than a Cosmic Bellhop. Osteen’s god has nothing in common with either the God of the Bible or historic Christianity.

[Califreak]

I’m hesitant to jump on any of them.

I don’t trust all the feelgood psychobabble prosperity preaching I see on TV.

[CaptainMorgantown]

He’s kind of a modern-day update of Norman Vincent Peale “Power of Positive Thinking”. He generally gives good advice on how to live your life with a positive attitude, but I don’t view his talks as particularly religous in nature. On the whole, I’d rather my kids listen to him than go to a Metallica concert, but it’s not really a substitute for going to church.

[mkjessup]

Hey, all I need to know about Joel Osteen and his perfect hair is that he actually stated that he thinks Comrade 0bama is doing a great job, and “loves the Lord”, and NOBODY who claims to be a man of God could possibly make such a statement about a pro-abortion liar and thug that has more blood on their hands than King Herod himself.

Joel Osteen is oppressed by a lying spirit of deception, woe unto anybody who gives his words any more credence than a ‘read your fortune’ slip of paper from a “Guess Your Weight” machine.

He’s a fraud.

[Habibi]

He’s quite entertaining to listen to, in sort of a creepy way. Listening to him is just like listening to the TV preachers in the 80’s preaching the “Blab It And Grab It” theology. Joel’s no different.

Hellfire and damnation (personal responsibility and consequences) would never go down well in this guys church.

[fishtank]

He's about like Finney.

[mkjessup]

In short, read your bible, stop talking in tounges, be a man, and then maybe, just maybe, your wife will stop knocking boots with the pool boy.

Sounds like you're speaking from personal experience.

[gedeon3]

Envy?

[MEGoody]

. . .and then maybe, just maybe, your wife will stop knocking boots with the pool boy.

Uh. . .what?

[baltoga]

I’ve noticed pastors now getting into spiritual financial counseling. Definitely looks like a “for profit” venture and cause for concern.