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Inmate amputates his own p***s in Monroe (WA)
Seattle Times ^ | 2/19/09

Posted on 02/20/2009 6:00:04 PM PST by llevrok

MONROE — A convicted murderer at the Washington state prison complex in Monroe was hospitalized after his second attempt to cut off his penis.

A spokeswoman for the Monroe Correctional Complex, says the 49-year-old inmate has a history of mental illness and already had amputated much of his genitalia several years ago.

Corrections Department spokesman Chad Lewis identified the inmate as John Forrester.

Forrester apparently used a razor blade to cut off what remained on Thursday. Kopoian tells The Herald in Everett that he was taken to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle with serious cuts to the groin. His condition was not immediately available Thursday night.

Kopoian says prisoners are permitted basic necessities — including razors — under state law.

Kopoian says Forrester was convicted on July 1, 1977, for aggravated first-degree murder and was sentenced to life without parole.

(Excerpt) Read more at seattletimes.nwsource.com ...


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: nuts
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To: llevrok

King Missile - Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It’s detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it’s gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don’t need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can’t for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn’t seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
‘cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don’t like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don’t know.
Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.


41 posted on 02/20/2009 7:02:55 PM PST by dfwgator (1996 2006 2008 - Good Things Come in Threes)
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To: BykrBayb

If people keep this up their gonna get “creamed” by the mods.


42 posted on 02/20/2009 7:11:40 PM PST by SoldierDad (Proud Dad of a U.S. Army Infantry Soldier presently instructing at Ft. Benning.)
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To: llevrok

Definitely not a good time to lose one’s head......


43 posted on 02/20/2009 7:13:15 PM PST by BigBlueJon ("And shepherds we shall be....For Thee, my Lord, for Thee....")
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To: SoldierDad

There are consequences to going off half cocked, and spouting off.


44 posted on 02/20/2009 7:15:09 PM PST by BykrBayb (May God have mercy on our souls. ~ Þ)
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To: BigBlueJon

I just pinged you a couple minutes ago. Surprised you came so quickly. : )


45 posted on 02/20/2009 7:16:05 PM PST by BykrBayb (May God have mercy on our souls. ~ Þ)
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To: llevrok
Maybe he's in negotiations with Delta.
46 posted on 02/20/2009 7:19:27 PM PST by uglybiker (AAAAAAH!!! I'm covered in BEES!)
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To: uglybiker

What an unfortunate allergy.


47 posted on 02/20/2009 7:22:45 PM PST by BykrBayb (May God have mercy on our souls. ~ Þ)
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To: BykrBayb

Beware those who are foaming at the mouth.


48 posted on 02/20/2009 7:23:37 PM PST by SoldierDad (Proud Dad of a U.S. Army Infantry Soldier presently instructing at Ft. Benning.)
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To: metmom; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
He's just being a pr*ck.


49 posted on 02/20/2009 7:34:41 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (This disaster brought to you by the failed Obama administration.)
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To: llevrok

It will be re-attached at taxpayer exoense.


50 posted on 02/20/2009 7:35:25 PM PST by Califreak (1/20/13-Sunrise in America)
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To: SoldierDad

51 posted on 02/20/2009 7:37:58 PM PST by BykrBayb (May God have mercy on our souls. ~ Þ)
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To: BykrBayb

Um, what would the rating of this movie be?


52 posted on 02/20/2009 7:39:34 PM PST by SoldierDad (Proud Dad of a U.S. Army Infantry Soldier presently instructing at Ft. Benning.)
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To: SoldierDad

Um, how would I know? I just picked a random photo off the Internets, because it happened to contain the word “rabid.” You believe me, don’t you?


53 posted on 02/20/2009 7:43:15 PM PST by BykrBayb (May God have mercy on our souls. ~ Þ)
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To: llevrok

Friday night. Free Republic. Nobody has a date.


54 posted on 02/20/2009 7:44:08 PM PST by ladyjane
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To: llevrok

First he use a blue pill and was trying to add to the stimulus package but it last more then four hours. Joe Bindin now thinks he is a patriot.


55 posted on 02/20/2009 7:48:33 PM PST by tongass kid
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To: llevrok

Throw some salt on it and move on.


56 posted on 02/20/2009 8:05:09 PM PST by Slump Tester (What if I'm pregnant Teddy? Errr-ahh -Calm down Mary Jo, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it)
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To: BykrBayb

To show solidarity with John Forrester.


57 posted on 02/20/2009 8:13:08 PM PST by Tribune7 (Obama wants to put the same crowd that ran Fannie Mae in charge of health care)
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To: saganite
It was a request from Dick Hertz.

Who's Dick Hertz?

John Forrester's. HA HA HA HA.

58 posted on 02/20/2009 8:14:15 PM PST by Tribune7 (Obama wants to put the same crowd that ran Fannie Mae in charge of health care)
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To: llevrok
Photobucket
59 posted on 02/20/2009 8:15:14 PM PST by JRios1968 (The real first rule of Fight Club: Do not invite Chuck Norris...EVER)
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To: Batman11

There once was a girl named Lorena
Whose husband could not have been meaner
He’d not let her come,
She said, “this is dumb”
And cut off the offending weiner.


60 posted on 02/20/2009 8:23:35 PM PST by lightman (Adjutorium nostrum (+) in nomine Domini.)
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