Posted on 02/20/2009 6:00:04 PM PST by llevrok
King Missile - Detachable Penis
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It’s detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it’s gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don’t need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can’t for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn’t seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
‘cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don’t like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don’t know.
Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
If people keep this up their gonna get “creamed” by the mods.
Definitely not a good time to lose one’s head......
There are consequences to going off half cocked, and spouting off.
I just pinged you a couple minutes ago. Surprised you came so quickly. : )
What an unfortunate allergy.
Beware those who are foaming at the mouth.
It will be re-attached at taxpayer exoense.
Um, what would the rating of this movie be?
Um, how would I know? I just picked a random photo off the Internets, because it happened to contain the word “rabid.” You believe me, don’t you?
Friday night. Free Republic. Nobody has a date.
First he use a blue pill and was trying to add to the stimulus package but it last more then four hours. Joe Bindin now thinks he is a patriot.
Throw some salt on it and move on.
To show solidarity with John Forrester.
Who's Dick Hertz?
John Forrester's. HA HA HA HA.
There once was a girl named Lorena
Whose husband could not have been meaner
He’d not let her come,
She said, “this is dumb”
And cut off the offending weiner.
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